{"id":136297,"date":"2019-07-14T05:37:26","date_gmt":"2019-07-14T05:37:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/thecoloredlens.com\/?page_id=136297"},"modified":"2019-07-14T05:37:26","modified_gmt":"2019-07-14T05:37:26","slug":"the-colored-lens-27-spring-2018","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/thecoloredlens.com\/?page_id=136297","title":{"rendered":"The Colored Lens #27 \u2013 Spring 2018"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a name=\"start\"><\/a><br \/>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/thecoloredlens.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/Cover.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/thecoloredlens.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/Cover.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"790\" height=\"1024\" \/><\/a><br \/>\n<center><br \/>\n<font style=\"font-size: 48pt\" size=\"7\">The Colored Lens<\/font><\/center><\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in\" lang=\"zxx\" align=\"CENTER\">\n<font size=\"6\"><\/font><\/p>\n<p><center><font size=\"6\">Speculative Fiction Magazine<\/font><\/center><\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in\" lang=\"zxx\" align=\"CENTER\">\n<font style=\"font-size: 20pt\" size=\"5\"><\/font><\/p>\n<p><center><font style=\"font-size: 20pt\" size=\"5\">Spring 2018 \u2013 Issue #27<\/font><\/center><\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in\" lang=\"zxx\" align=\"CENTER\">\n\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in\" lang=\"zxx\" align=\"CENTER\">\n<font size=\"5\"><\/font><\/p>\n<p><center><font size=\"5\">Featuring works by H. Pueyo, Imogen Cassidy, Barry Charman, Sam Tovey, Bindia Persaud, Lynn Rushlau, Edward Turner, Tim W. Boiteau, Aaron Moskalik, Jamie Lackey, Zoe Thomas, and Patrick Doerksen.<\/font><\/center><\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in\" lang=\"zxx\" align=\"CENTER\">\n<font size=\"5\"><\/font><\/p>\n<p><center><font size=\"5\"><br \/>\n<\/font><\/center><\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in\" lang=\"zxx\" align=\"CENTER\">\n<font size=\"5\"><\/font><\/p>\n<p><center><font size=\"5\"><br \/>\n<\/font><\/center><\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in\" lang=\"zxx\" align=\"CENTER\">\n\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in\" lang=\"zxx\" align=\"CENTER\">\n<font size=\"5\"><\/font><\/p>\n<p><center><font size=\"5\">Edited by Dawn Lloyd and Daniel Scott<br \/>\nHenry Fields, Associate Editor<\/font><\/center><\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in\" lang=\"zxx\" align=\"CENTER\">\n\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in\" lang=\"zxx\" align=\"CENTER\">\n<font size=\"5\"><\/font><\/p>\n<p><center><font size=\"5\">Published by Light Spring LLC <\/font><\/center><\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in\" lang=\"zxx\" align=\"CENTER\">\n<font size=\"5\"><\/font><\/p>\n<p><center><font size=\"5\">Fort Worth, Texas<\/font><\/center><\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in\" lang=\"zxx\" align=\"CENTER\">\n<font size=\"5\"><\/font><\/p>\n<p><center><font size=\"5\">\u00a9 Copyright 2018, All Rights Reserved<\/font><\/center><\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in\" lang=\"zxx\" align=\"CENTER\">\n\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in\" lang=\"zxx\" align=\"CENTER\">\n<font color=\"#000080\"><span lang=\"zxx\"><u><\/u><\/span><\/font><\/p>\n<p><center><font color=\"#000080\"><u><a href=\"http:\/\/www.thecoloredlens.com\/\"><font size=\"5\">www.TheColoredLens.com<\/font><\/a><\/u><\/font><\/center><\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"margin-bottom: 0in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<\/p>\n<hr>\n<p><mbp:pagebreak><\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"margin-bottom: 0in; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<a name=\"TOC\"><\/a><br \/>\n<a id=\"TOC\"><\/a><\/p>\n<h1 align=\"center\">Table of Contents<\/h1>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"#eva\">Eva<\/a> by H. Pueyo<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"#pull\">The Pull of the Earth<\/a> by Imogen Cassidy<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"#mockingdroids\">Mockingdroids<\/a> by Barry Charman<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"#whisperer\">The Fridge Whisperer<\/a> by Sam Tovey<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"#sita\">Golden Sita<\/a> by Bindia Persaud<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"#kospora\">A Wizard of Kospora<\/a> by Lynn Rushlau<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"#charlie\">Charlie, the Driverless Car<\/a> by Edward Turner<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"#dandelion\">Dandelion<\/a> by Tim W. Boiteau<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"#esther\">The Garden of Esther<\/a> by Aaron Moskalik<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"#window\">The Girl in the Glass Block Window<\/a> by Jamie Lackey<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"#marinovic\">Nina Marinovic Does Not Exist<\/a> by Zoe Thomas<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"#wound\">Open Wound<\/a> by Patrick Doerksen<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<hr>\n<p><mbp:pagebreak><br \/>\n<a name=\"eva\"><\/a><\/p>\n<h1 class=\"western\" style=\"font-weight: normal; page-break-before: always\" lang=\"zxx\" align=\"CENTER\">\n<font face=\"Times New Roman, serif\"><font size=\"6\">Eva<\/font><\/font><\/h1>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nBy H. Pueyo<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThere was nothing Eva liked better than eating at the dining table\u2014the clinking of forks, the silver knife playing between her fingers, dishes of all colors displayed from one side to the other\u2026 It was all very human, or so she liked to believe.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nIn front of her, a middle-aged woman looked at the phone resting on the placemat, reading an article instead of looking at her.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201c<em>Mam\u00e1<\/em>,\u201d Eva said. Lettuce, arugula and cherry tomatoes rested comfortably on her plate, all of them untouched.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nJosefa Mayoral raised her brown eyes slowly, first checking the food in front of Eva, then her face.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cYes, darling?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe sliced cucumbers caught her attention. Eva wondered if onions tasted as acidic as they smelled, or if the bright yellow color of eggs influenced their flavor. While she loved dinner, there were very few elements she was able to digest, and none of them could be considered food by any standard.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe took a deep breath, and thought again of the one sentence she was thinking the whole day:\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI don&#8217;t want to go tomorrow, please.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<hr>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nEva was the first and only of her kind, the prototype of all Mayoral androids. Like later models, her body was designed to have the following characteristics: a registration number carved into the sole of her left foot, the characteristic logo of Mayoral Robots in her right arm, and, more importantly, an appealing appearance.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cYou could say she&#8217;s like a daughter to me,\u201d Josefa said, lifting her up by the waist to show her to the crowd. Eva stood there, expressionless, looking at rows of curious faces. \u201cAnd a case of unexpected success\u2014you see, I hadn&#8217;t imagined she would be more than just a testing program, but she works so well, in such an astoundingly human fashion, that I modeled all of our other robots after her.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nJosefa gestured for Eva to continue, her stretched wide mouth looking less than a smile and more like a threat. Eva pulled one string of her red dress, uncovering a shoulder, and then the other, showing the soft artificial skin of her neck and cleavage.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhen I began this company, I was asked many things. There is a general misconception of what a woman can and cannot do in this industry, and I wanted to shake that belief, and show that I could bring a completely new approach to this very male-dominated space\u2026\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nA man in particular didn&#8217;t stop staring at her, not at her chest, but at her face. Someone in the crowd, someone whose face Eva could not focus on, someone holding a cellphone.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cNow, I am more than proud to say that Eva is not only the most developed sex robot in the world, but the first artificial intelligence with human-like perception,\u201d Josefa grinned, trying to catch her breath after speaking. The dress slipped down Eva&#8217;s chest, exposing her down to her navel.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cMs. Mayoral, a question.\u201d It was the same man as before. Eva only saw his trench coat, his glasses, his short beard. \u201cYour company claims to be the only one in the market who understands issues such as consent, but if Eva and the other girls\u2014and boys\u2014you sell are fully conscious individuals, wouldn&#8217;t\u2014?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cThank you for your pertinent question, Mr. Asai,\u201d Josefa said. \u201cAll of our androids are conscious, yes, and they have individual personalities, to understand, appreciate and respect their owner&#8217;s wishes, as well as their sexual and emotional needs. They were also built to enjoy all types of intercourse, and even have functions that help spread awareness regarding sexual and domestic violence.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cCan you please explain how this function works?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cEva, can you?\u201d Josefa asked her, and she blinked, turning to Mr. Asai.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cOf course, <em>mam\u00e1<\/em>.\u201d Eva made a small pause, trying to focus. \u201cAs she said, it&#8217;s not only me, but all Mayoral models have a non-consensual function, in order to prevent aggressive clients to believe a real person would enjoy this kind of interaction.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cThis helps owners to understand living people&#8217;s boundaries,\u201d Josefa added. \u201cIt was proved to be very effective.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cIf this helps prevent crimes against women, I&#8217;m more than happy,\u201d Eva said, and smiled a bit. The journalist seemed at a loss, but stared at her intently, as if thinking of something to say.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cYou would tell me if you weren&#8217;t, wouldn&#8217;t you?\u201d Josefa asked, her voice so playful that Eva almost smiled for real.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cOf course I would, <em>mam\u00e1<\/em>.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWell, then, it&#8217;s time for the actual fun\u2014please, gentlemen, form a line and follow me to the next room. Those who have paid for the full workshop will get to try Eva for twenty minutes. The rest, if you change your mind, we accept cash, online payment and credit cards.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<hr>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nLights flickered in the ceiling, and the ambient music mixed with the breathing of somebody else created a repetitive rhythm. The man over her looked like a lot of other man she had met before. Like Andrew, and Ram\u00f3n, and Ezequiel, and Juan, and William, and Horace, and Takao, and Henri, and M\u00e1rcia, even, and the long, long list of clients who had tested her since her creation.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cEva, sit on me,\u201d he ordered, grabbing her by the throat. Eva choked, coughing, nodding as he moved her like a ball-jointed doll. Eva sat on his lap, wondering if there was anything similar between what she felt and what physical exhaustion should be like.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nInability to perform optimally, lack of energy in the muscle, a general sensation of weakness\u2026 No matter how much her limbs seemed unwilling to function, this feeling was merely internal: outside, everything worked as well as always, her hips went up and down, her chest trembled, and her mouth voiced the same moans she was supposed to repeat.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nAgain, she could not focus on the person leaving her body, nor his face, nor his hands, nor his words. He was talking to her, and she was answering, but she could not retain the information in her system.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cAre they gonna help you with that?\u201d He pointed at the dripping between her legs, and she almost jumped, suddenly realizing that this was not some strange reverie: <em>you should always answer clients<\/em>, an order inside her said, <em>your attention should be entirely on them<\/em>.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI&#8217;m self-cleaning, actually,\u201d Eva murmured, feeling like she should speak more kindly, maybe. \u201cBut thanks for asking.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<hr>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nMothers and daughters often look alike, but this was not their case. Josefa was slim and tall, with large brown eyes, an aquiline nose, a long, angular face. Her mouth was ample but not full, her neck was lengthy, fitting her protuberant bone structure, and her skin was the common tanned beige of natives of the Iberian Peninsula.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nEva wanted to be more like her, or the girls that were created after her, but she was something else, something different.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cEva was not created to look from anywhere in particular,\u201d Josefa told an interviewer once. \u201cUnlike our other robots, which were created to fit specific ethnicities in order to fully represent the human experience, she&#8217;s a\u2014how can I put this? A citizen of the world. I tried to choose many traits to make her universally relatable, <em>de facto<\/em> multiracial, but I&#8217;m afraid it made her not look like anything, really.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cShe&#8217;s very exotic, very racially ambiguous,\u201d the interviewer agreed. \u201cSomewhat of a strange beauty.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cIsn&#8217;t she?\u201d Josefa buried her fingers in her cheeks, showing her face. Eva didn&#8217;t like any of the words used to describe her. Exotic and odd-faced did not sound as flattering as pretty or hot, like the models for sale were usually marketed as. \u201cI&#8217;ve been told her body&#8217;s unrealistic, but I find that offensive, honestly.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nEva looked at her own nakedness. Indeed, it was nothing like Josefa; it had too much in many places, but not all of them. Mayoral Robots prided itself in offering all kinds of body, and she had seen some that were flat and small like a child, and others that were tall and heavy in the sides. Some had a big chest accompanying a small torso, others were proportionate in everything.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nBut not her\u2014she was not as light as some androids, nor olive, nor brown, nor black. Her traits didn&#8217;t match each other, the skin didn&#8217;t fit the face, the face didn&#8217;t fit the body, the body didn&#8217;t fit anywhere. Her back was always arched, her breasts were always big and firm, her waist was always small, her hips were always wide, her face was always short, her mouth was always pouting.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nSometimes, Eva imagined what it would have been like to change\u2014by accident, of course, mother would never forgive her\u2014with a body more of her liking. With someone big when she felt too small, or someone small when she felt too big. With someone whose face attracted only positive attention, or with looks that blend easily in with the crowd.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nJosefa never had a biological child, but maybe, just maybe, everything would have been different if she was a lot like her: the same need for a pair of glasses, the same elongated body, the same stone-carved face\u2026\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<hr>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201c<em>Mam\u00e1<\/em>,\u201d Eva murmured, holding her by the arm before she left the room. \u201cCan I ask you something before the other client comes in?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cIf it doesn&#8217;t take too long, sure,\u201d Josefa answered.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cDo you ever plan selling me to someone in particular?\u201d Her voice sounded more hurried than she had planned, and she closed her eyes when Josefa brushed her hair with her fingers.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhat?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cLike other robots.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhat are you talking about, Eva?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe was talking about an idea that crossed her head all the time. The others were sold to a person, or a group, or a business, and they were kept there forever, or as long as they were useful\u2026 Right? If she were sold, she might stop feeling the delusion of fatigue that constantly accosted her.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI just wanted to know,\u201d Eva tried to explain, letting herself fall down from the bed to the floor to get on her knees. \u201cOut of curiosity.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nWhat Eva had noticed, in fact, is that the malfunctioning that caused exhaustion-like symptoms in her worsened any and every time she had to see other people. As of late, it was so bad that she felt like she could not even answer her mother, or even get up from the chair. Despite not having a digestive system, she felt like throwing up, or, at least, like what she imagined wanting to throw up would feel like.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cOf course not,\u201d Josefa said, furrowing her brows. \u201cYou have a very important role with me, cari\u00f1o. Besides, who would buy you after years of this? Now, behave, and do your job, okay? Mother is late.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nNo, I don&#8217;t want to, was what her mouth opened to say, but simple commands were becoming difficult tasks for her.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe window by her side showed an interesting scenario of lights, gleaming like stars, like candles, like fireflies: so many words in her database to describe the beautiful imagery ahead, and yet none seemed to please her. Caught up in her own little world of buildings and electricity, Eva didn&#8217;t notice the arrival of her client, or when he spoke, or when he began to touch her.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<em>Negative, negative<\/em>\u2014her system said, like an alarm. <em>Negative<\/em>.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cNo!\u201d Eva yelled, placing her open hands on his chest to try to create distance between them. Unlike the ghost of tiredness, she knew well what this feeling was, as she was programmed to thrash and beg and scream when she did not want something.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThere was not only one man, there were many\u2014<em>mam\u00e1<\/em> didn&#8217;t say anything about a group\u2014and her body went to autopilot: the more she hated it, the more they did, the more she tried to stop it, the worse it became. She had been programmed to behave like this, after all; so this would not happen to other women, no, to real women, only to her.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nWhen her body slowly started to go back to normal, and they were dressing up, Eva began to wonder what was wrong. Her negative autopilot had been activated more times than she could count, but only once or twice the clients seemed uncomfortable about all the yelling. In fact, most of the time, they seemed pleased, like they wanted to see exactly how bad things could get.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201c<em>Mam\u00e1<\/em>,\u201d Eva talked in a small voice, hours later, when Josefa was fixing the skin that had been torn and damaged from her limbs. \u201cDid you listen when I was trying to call you? I was scared.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cNo,\u201d Josefa said, but she could see she was lying. \u201cI had my phones on.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201c<em>Mam\u00e1<\/em>,\u201d Eva said again. \u201cDo you really think the negative mode helps?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cOh, I don&#8217;t know, darling, don&#8217;t fret over it.\u201d Smoke flew out of Josefa&#8217;s mouth, and she put out the cigarette. \u201cSome people just like it better this way.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<hr>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cMs. Mayoral,\u201d a man said. Eva listened from behind the door, trying to remember where she heard the journalist&#8217;s name. Mother called him Mr. Asai\u2026 Asai, Asai, who was he? \u201cI can&#8217;t stress how thankful I am for your willingness to help. Of course, my feature would not be complete if I didn&#8217;t check by myself how Eva works in first hand.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cOf course it wouldn&#8217;t,\u201d Josefa answered, and Eva could discern the disdain in her voice.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe remembered, now: a face in the audience, a man with a shiny black beard covering his chin, a beige trench coat. Mr. Jean-Luc Asai, the interviewer <em>mam\u00e1<\/em> called nosy and unbearable, the one always running after her.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cHow do we proceed now? Is there any room in particular for this kind of\u2026 Event? I would appreciate privacy, I think you can imagine why.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nEva touched the door, feeling the layer of paint over the wood. Unlike her deregulated emotional system, her sensory processing was as hypersensitive as ever, just as it was supposed to be.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cOh, Mr. Asai, please,\u201d Josefa laughed, and the sound of steps followed her voice. \u201cMayoral Robots is more than used to situations like this. It&#8217;s not the first time a journalist like yourself asks to see in first hand what my products can do. I will call Eva, and she will show you the guest room. Eva! Eva!\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nEva waited a few moments to appear in the living room. She tried to force a smile, but she stopped when she realized she could go back to the negative autopilot at any instant.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cEva, please escort Mr. Asai to the guest room, and make sure to attend to his every need.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cPlease follow me,\u201d Eva murmured, taking Mr. Asai by the hand. The man was taller and wider than her, and a strange thought crossed her head: <em>if I was human, he could choke me to death<\/em>.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nWhen they reached the guest room, Mr. Asai locked the door, undressed from his jacket, and sat on the bed.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cNow, Eva, I believe I haven&#8217;t introduced myself to you yet. My name is Jean-Luc,\u201d Mr. Asai kissed the back of her hand, and smiled at her. \u201cCan we talk for a little while?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nEva frowned, which made Mr. Asai chuckle in amusement. She was used to this kind of request coming from those who were used to older generations of androids, none of them as realistic as her, or so <em>mam\u00e1<\/em> said.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cSomething&#8217;s happening, Jean-Luc? In your marriage, maybe?\u201d Eva asked, sitting close to him, making their thighs touch. She didn&#8217;t know who she hated more: those who only wanted to screw, or those who only wanted to talk.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cNo, no, flower,\u201d Mr. Asai answered, still smiling. There were lines of age under his pitch black beard, and a few gray strands. \u201cThis is not the kind of conversation I want to have. I want to know more about you.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<em>That Akai, Asai\u2014whatever is his name!\u2014man wants to catch me red-handed, I just know<\/em>, Josefa had said many times before. Eva never thought it was something serious, so she always looked somewhere else: the tips of her fingers, her shoes, her ever untouched plate.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhatever you&#8217;d like, Jean-Luc,\u201d Eva purred, but she never got to climb to his lap. Mr. Asai stopped her, touching her shoulder.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cYou see, Eva, I paid a great deal of money to interview you, but I&#8217;m afraid your &#8216;mother&#8217; does not need to know that.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nEva hugged her knees, making herself smaller. There was something wrong.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cSo you do want to catch her red-handed,\u201d Eva muttered. \u201c<em>Mam\u00e1<\/em> is doing nothing illegal, you know.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI know, but that&#8217;s the part where I disagree, flower,\u201d Mr. Asai continued, and he went back to her side. \u201cI&#8217;m not sure you were programmed to understand this, but not everything that&#8217;s legal is correct.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhy are you calling me flower?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cOh, I think you&#8217;re just like one.\u201d Mr. Asai waved his fingers in the air, tracing her face without touching her. Part of Eva wanted him to do it, to pet her face and fuck her, that was way better than talking about any of those things. \u201cLike a little ghost orchid\u2014rare, beautiful and outstandingly frail.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nEva tried to imagine her limbs becoming the pale white and green petals of a ghost orchid, forgetting how to speak and switch languages, removing her wires, breathing humidity, and not having to ever be herself again.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhy frail? My body was designed to endure abnormal quantities of pain.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cAnd experience.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhat?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201c<em>Endure<\/em> and experience abnormal quantities of pain,\u201d Mr. Asai corrected her. \u201cMs. Mayoral told me all of her androids were created to be hypersensitive to any physical touch.  To increase arousal, she says.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cThat&#8217;s true.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cDoes your hypersensitivity decreases when you&#8217;re in pain, flower?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cNo,\u201d Eva said. \u201cNot at all.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cInteresting choice. Did she ever told you why?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cYes,\u201d Eva said. \u201cIt&#8217;s because a lot of people like it.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cDo <em>you<\/em> like it?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI can&#8217;t like everything.\u201d To Eva, the answer was very obvious, even when she had already questioned the same. \u201cThere are people who don&#8217;t want me to like it\u2026 I would bore them to death if it was good, wouldn&#8217;t I?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI suppose you would. Listen, flower.\u201d Mr. Asai held Eva&#8217;s hand, and she looked right into his narrow dark eyes. \u201cI would like you to talk to me whenever you need it. Pain can be rather tiring\u2014if you ever agree, message me.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nEva watched as Mr. Asai saved his contact under the name Orchid, and smiled at her. After a long silence, Eva grabbed him by the wrist.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI do,\u201d she said. \u201cI already agree.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<hr>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cJean-Luc,\u201d Eva pronounced his name. \u201cJean-Luc Asai.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhat about him?\u201d Josefa asked out of nowhere. Eva had not even realized she had said it out loud in first place. \u201cDid he ask you anything weird?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cNo. He just wanted to know if it was true that I can feel everything more than humans can. I said yes. He enjoyed it.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<em>Jean-Luc<\/em>, she wrote to him later. <em>I want to tell you something, something mother can&#8217;t know<\/em>.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhat the\u2026\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI think he might have thought there was some flaw in your work,\u201d Eva continued, playing with a clean spoon. \u201cHe seems to have changed his mind.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cMen are all the same,\u201d Josefa sighed. \u201cPussy makes them irrational.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI think I&#8217;m malfunctioning, Eva said. <em>Would you mind coming again? We will be in Madrid until the weekend<\/em>.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cMother.\u201d There was gazpacho served in a cassole in front of her, looking bright red. \u201cWould you ever turn me off?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nJosefa stopped eating. Small bits of cucumber and bell pepper fell out of her spoon, and her mouth hung open.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhy would I?\u201d She got up and hurried to the other side of the table, decorated with a cheerful table cloth. \u201cYou&#8217;re my golden goose, dear, my daughter, I&#8217;d never get rid of you.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nJosefa kissed the top of her head, caressing her hair like she was her own private porcelain doll.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cBut if I begged you\u2014would you?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cStop talking nonsense, Eva.\u201d Josefa let go of her, and went back to her place, her veiny hands shaking. \u201cDid that man put this silliness in your head?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cNo, <em>mam\u00e1<\/em>, he didn&#8217;t.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<hr>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nWhen Josefa entered the restroom of the hotel, Eva hurried to the man waiting behind a large replica palm tree.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cJean-Luc,\u201d she said, holding the sleeve of his cream-colored trench coat. \u201cI think I&#8217;m in danger. Mother is thinking of repairing me.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cIsn&#8217;t that better for you?\u201d Mr. Asai had to look down to make eye contact, but he was focused on the door of the women&#8217;s restroom. \u201cYou told me you were worried you were malfunctioning.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nEva took a small memory card out of her pocket, and put it in the palm of his hand.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cThis is all I can tell you,\u201d Eva said. \u201cAbout what I really think\u2026  I don&#8217;t believe you&#8217;ll be very interested, there are no illegal things.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cFlower, you&#8217;re getting quite good at running away from my questions.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nEva smiled.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cSorry.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhat happens if you&#8217;re repaired?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cMy memories will be reset.\u201d One of Eva&#8217;s hands was still grasping his coat, and she wished she could memorize the feeling of the fabric, the brown round buttons and the white shirt beneath. \u201cI know I&#8217;m just an object and my wishes are very silly, but I wouldn&#8217;t like that. Even if I won&#8217;t think the way I do now, I wouldn&#8217;t want these hands and this body to act like I am happier than I am\u2026\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI won&#8217;t allow it,\u201d Jean-Luc said. \u201cI&#8217;d help you, flower. We can try to sue Josefa, we\u2026\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cThere is no current legislation for someone like me. But there&#8217;s something you could do. Something I really, really want.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<hr>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nOnce, Eva witnessed the deactivation of a defective Mayoral android. The experience reminded her of a public execution, where not only her and Josefa, but several employees were able to attend. She wished they could receive a lethal injection instead of having their skulls opened, unfolding layers of software and delicate wires, only to become scrap metal in the end.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cAre you sure about this, flower?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cVery,\u201d Eva answered, walking, being followed closely by him.  She had spent the last week doing everything she could: answering through mother&#8217;s phone, faking her signature, imitating her voice. She had been lucky that Josefa had already schedule her neural repairment for Friday, so it wasn&#8217;t that hard to pretend that she had changed her mind, and wanted to dispose of her instead. \u201cI guess the other employees think it makes sense. I&#8217;m just an old prototype by now.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cIf you allow my opinion\u2026\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cLeave your opinion for your feature, Jean-Luc.\u201d Eva smiled sweetly, caressing his arm. \u201cDo you really think anyone will be interested in reading about me?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI think after they read it, they will never forget about you,\u201d Mr. Asai murmured. \u201cIf you tried to take your case to court, flower, you could change the way we perceive robots. It could give you rights akin to those of a human. Rights that would prevent\u2026\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nEva stopped walking.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cJean-Luc,\u201d Eva said, very aware of how close they were to the deactivation room. \u201cI don&#8217;t want to try anything anymore. I just want to sleep.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cEva\u2026\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI like it better when you call me flower.\u201d Eva covered a small chuckle with her tiny hand. \u201cWill you watch it, Jean-Luc? I&#8217;d rather not be alone, please.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nJean-Luc knelt in front of her, and kissed the back of her hand, just like he had done in the day they truly met.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI will,\u201d he said. \u201cAnd I won&#8217;t let anyone forget what caused you feel like this.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<hr>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nEva opened her eyes. Lights blinded her, the ceiling was white and brilliant, the walls of the second floor reflecting the scene below.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThere were two people above her, but not in the way she was used to. They were not weighing on her body, they were blankly staring at her, pulling the skin of her forehead with care. For the first time in a long time, she did not feel like she was malfunctioning at all, she felt comfortable, pleased, safe. She could still visualize Mr. Asai from a distance, through the glass separating the witnesses from them.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe deactivation room was soundproof, and she could only listen to the little noises they made in her brain. <em>Finally<\/em>, Eva thought, smiling.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nJosefa Mayoral appeared behind the other side of the room, yelling, but no one could hear her. She punched the wall with her fists until Mr. Asai had to stop her.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<em>Thank you<\/em>, she wanted to say, but her voice wasn&#8217;t working anymore. One arm resting over her belly, the other on the table, Eva closed her eyes.\n<\/p>\n<hr>\n<p><mbp:pagebreak><br \/>\n<a name=\"pull\"><\/a><\/p>\n<h1 class=\"western\" style=\"font-weight: normal; page-break-before: always\" lang=\"zxx\" align=\"CENTER\">\n<font face=\"Times New Roman, serif\"><font size=\"6\">The Pull of the Earth<\/font><\/font><\/h1>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nBy Imogen Cassidy<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nKenese Umaga had not yet gotten used to the twists and turns of corridors in Alpha station, even after a year. She wouldn&#8217;t say she was lost, exactly. Not on the way to the lab that she worked at every day. No.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nConfused maybe. Turned around. Not lost.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe put it down to trying to walk and talk at the same time.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;I thought you said this would only take an hour,&#8221; she said into her comm as she hesitated at the junction of sections two and three. A passing technician gave her a small smile and a gentle head tilt in the direction she should be going and she took a moment to nod in thanks.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;We had problems with some of the core concepts,&#8221; Martine said in her ear. &#8220;Look, I can turn the translator back on for you, but it will delay my work by a day if I don&#8217;t get this done before third shift.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;Martine, I need these samples, and I can&#8217;t take them if he can&#8217;t understand what I&#8217;m asking for.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;You really need to be able to talk to him? You&#8217;ve done this a hundred times.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nKenese sighed in frustration, but quietly so Martine wouldn&#8217;t hear. &#8220;I can&#8217;t just walk in there and start sticking him with needles. It wouldn&#8217;t be polite.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;The samples will have to wait then,&#8221; Martine said briskly. &#8220;Anyway, I know you had other plans for this afternoon, Manny was going on about it in rec yesterday.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nKenese had forgotten she had plans.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe finally turned the corner to Eli&#8217;s corridor and stopped, just before walking in front of the glass wall that made up one side of his quarters. &#8220;Shit,&#8221; she said. &#8220;Okay Martine, I can leave these samples until later. You think you&#8217;ll only need an hour for the translator update to be finished?&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;Less than that.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;Good.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nKenese switched off her comm, still standing just outside Eli&#8217;s line of sight. The glass wall that made up one entire side of his cell could be made opaque, if he should wish it. Eli never asked for privacy, however. There might have been a time, when he first joined them, when one of the scientists could have flipped the switch themselves &#8212; given him the privacy he possibly wanted but did not have the language with which to ask.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThat time passed, however, and now the corridor to what most called his cell was avoided by all who could manage it, and traversed quickly by those who could not.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nKenese&#8217;s comm crackled and Manifred&#8217;s deep, amused voice sounded in her ear. &#8220;I&#8217;m waiting in Airlock Q with a space suit that is far too small for me, Umaga,&#8221; he said.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;I&#8217;m sorry, Manny,&#8221; she said. &#8220;I&#8217;ll be there in a minute.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<hr>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe had been told that being in zero gravity was like being underwater. Unfortunately she&#8217;d been told that by a man who had been born on Alpha station and had never set foot on a planet, let alone gone swimming in the ocean.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nKenese remembered the feel of cool water on her skin. She could remember the puckered dryness of her lips, exposed to too much salt, remember the taste of rubber in her mouth and the pressure of her mask against her nose as she bobbed and floated so far above the corals that she felt vertigo.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nBeing in zero gravity made her stomach flip and gave her a nagging headache. The suit was uncomfortable, bulky, and made her claustrophobic, despite the vast emptiness around her. Manifred certainly seemed to treat it like he was going for a pleasant swim, lying on his back (or what would be his back if up and down had any meaning), the soft sigh of his breath in her ear through the comm making her wish she could enjoy this as much as he obviously was.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe grit her teeth and stuck it out. Years of coping with rough seas meant she didn&#8217;t actually throw up, although she felt a little like it would be better if she did, and she managed a smile at Manifred when they got back into the airlock and she pulled off the helmet.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nStation air smelled like ozone and disinfectant.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;You didn&#8217;t like it,&#8221; Manifred said.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe gave him a sad smile. &#8220;I&#8217;m sorry, Manny,&#8221; she said. &#8220;It&#8217;s not the same.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe squeezed her shoulder and shook his head. &#8220;Well it&#8217;s probably for the best anyway. Security nearly had conniptions when I tried to get permission for you to come.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe handed him her helmet and he put it back on the rack, then turned to help her get the rest of the suit off. &#8220;I do appreciate you trying,&#8221; she said. &#8220;I just wish &#8212; they keep saying they <em>need<\/em> me here but I don&#8217;t\u2026&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;You know more about him than anyone else,&#8221; Manny pointed out.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;We don&#8217;t even know that he&#8217;s a <em>he, <\/em> Manny.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;I thought he&#8217;d told you that?&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe smiled. &#8220;I&#8217;m not the linguist. That&#8217;s Martine&#8217;s job and she says that the gender pronouns are all mixed up &#8212; no way of knowing if they even have male and female, certainly no indication of how they reproduce yet. You know I&#8217;ve done a study and compared them to certain amphibious\u2026&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nManny laughed and squeezed her arm. &#8220;You&#8217;re here because you love the work, Nese,&#8221; he said.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe shook her head and smiled, looking down. &#8220;Sure. I just hate the office.&#8221; <em>I miss wind, and sky, and the changes in temperature, and sunshine. <\/em>\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;Keep working on them,&#8221; he said. &#8220;You&#8217;re not stuck here, you&#8217;re allowed to go back if you want to.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe did want to. She wanted it like air.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThings were never that simple.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<hr>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;Your visits have become more erratic in the past time periods,&#8221; Eli said to her. The blank tone of the translator gave no clues as to the alien&#8217;s emotional state, but Kenese couldn&#8217;t help but think there was accusation there. She might feel isolated and disconnected from her home up here, but that was nothing to how he must feel, thousands of light years from a dead planet, the only others of his kind still locked in cryogenic stasis.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nIt was her job to find out enough about this creature to bring the rest of his people back to life, despite Eli&#8217;s strong objections.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;I&#8217;ve been correlating data,&#8221; she said. &#8220;Trying to work out how your biology will react to our technology when we start trying to thaw out your people.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;I have told you I do not wish my people to be revived,&#8221; Eli said. When he spoke he tilted his lizard-like head to one side. Kenese wasn&#8217;t sure if that was just a personality trait or something that his entire species did.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nDespite Martine&#8217;s update the translator garbled the word &#8220;wish&#8221; somewhat. Facts were easy. Body parts, even technology to a certain extent, but when they got into the hazy world of abstract thought the translator would often short out entirely. Martine had done a lot of fine tuning, but Kenese was beginning to suspect that Eli tried to sabotage it deliberately. He knew the translator better than any of them did.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cYou won\u2019t explain why,\u201d Kenese said. \u201cYou were supposed to negotiate, to be their ambassador, you\u2019re not doing your job for them.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cNone of us anticipated what we would find at our journey\u2019s end,\u201d Eli said.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cIs it because Earth is inhabited? We\u2019ve done the projections, we can cede land enough to you so your people can live, there\u2019s progress in terraforming Mars&#8230;\u201d Eli made a sound that she recognized as the closest he ever came to frustration and she stopped. They had had this conversation before. &#8220;You&#8217;re the only ones left,&#8221; Kenese said, her voice small.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;We should not be preserved. Our world is &#8212; &#8221; the translator stuttered out completely on that word, but she knew what he meant.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nTheir world was dead.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;You carry your world with you,&#8221; she said.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nEli&#8217;s clawed fingers opened and shut in a gesture she recognized as frustration. &#8220;No. We are not human. Our world is no more, destroyed through our own foolishness. Therefore we are no more.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe shook her head. &#8220;I need to take more blood, if you don&#8217;t mind,&#8221; she said finally. He stood, moved to the science station in his room and held out his arm.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe did not react to the jab of the needle, and Kenese was adept enough at the process to make it quick. She slotted the vial into the pouch she wore at her belt to take for analysis, but hesitated before leaving.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;Do you need anything, Eli?&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;No.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe always answered the same, no matter how many times she asked. He never requested anything, never asked that they stop the tests, never seemed to need entertainment or variety in his food.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nKenese never knew why she constantly felt like she was failing him.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;I&#8217;m just saying there are really good reasons why he doesn&#8217;t want his people revived. Nese, you remember what they <em>did<\/em>.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;He isn&#8217;t thinking straight.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;Nese,&#8221; Manny leaned forward and squeezed her hand. &#8220;You&#8217;re the one who keeps telling me that he isn&#8217;t human.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;We still don&#8217;t know that Eli&#8217;s even a male,&#8221; Nese objected, weakly. She suspected ideas of gender for Eli were completely different to those of humans, and whenever he was asked he acted completely baffled.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;He doesn&#8217;t mind being called he, Nese,&#8221; Manny said.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;We don&#8217;t know that,&#8221; Kenese said. &#8220;I don&#8217;t want to hurt him any more than he&#8217;s already hurting.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nAlpha station had a few nicer restaurants for the upper company echelons, and a few dingy eateries for the miners and finders. Nese found herself far more comfortable in the miner&#8217;s district than here among the wealthy company officials. Marine biologists like her had absolutely no place here at all, really, where the only fish were served in delicate sauces to wealthy spacers or freeze-dried in packets to be sent out on month long mining and exploration expeditions.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nKenese had never had a chance to meet people who weren&#8217;t directly involved in the project to revive Eli and his people, not until Manny had dragged her out one night, telling her she&#8217;d stayed shut up in the lab for far too long.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe had. But in some ways coming out and seeing the general life of the station had made her even more homesick. While she&#8217;d been in the lab, concentrating on the work, it had felt like her thesis, or a research grant paper that had to be completed before she could go back to her island and her turtles and the work she actually cared about. If she let herself feel at home here, amongst the miners and the engineers and the cold dark of the asteroid belt, she would never get home.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nManny was talking again. She tried to focus. &#8220;You&#8217;re looking out for him,&#8221; he said. &#8220;That&#8217;s why they don&#8217;t want you to go home. That&#8217;s why you&#8217;re not pushing as hard as you could to go.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;He&#8217;s just so disconnected,&#8221; Kenese said. &#8220;If I could just get him to see that there&#8217;s more, that he can have a life with us. All his people can. Just because his home is gone doesn&#8217;t mean\u2026&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;What if you could never go home again?&#8221; Manny said. &#8220;You&#8217;ve told me countless times how much you want to go back, but what if the option wasn&#8217;t there?&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nKenese&#8217;s shoulders slumped. There&#8217;d been a time when the oceans had been in danger, when it looked like the reef and the turtles would not survive. Kenese&#8217;s parents had been heavily involved in restocking the oceans, genetic cloning, seeding the reef with new coral.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThey&#8217;d cared enough, just, to save it. Eli&#8217;s people hadn&#8217;t.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;If they were so connected to their world, why did they leave? Not all of them can be as sad as Eli is.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;Eli isn&#8217;t sad,&#8221; Manny said. &#8220;Eli&#8217;s angry.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<hr>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;Are you?&#8221; Kenese knew she shouldn&#8217;t ask such abstract questions, but she&#8217;d been wondering ever since Manny had said it, analyzing what her own responses would be to a people who thought abandoning their world was a better option than staying and trying to save it.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;Manifred Saeed exhibits a great deal of wariness around me,&#8221; Eli said.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;He\u2019s better with\u2026\u201d she was going to say people, but pulled herself up short in horror at the close misstep, \u201c&#8230;better with familiar things. You know that.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;I believe he assigns emotions to me. Ones that he himself is experiencing.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nKenese&#8217;s lips twitched as she smoothed the sample container label in place. Eli had exhibited a reaction to one of his food supplements that was puzzling and she&#8217;d taken blood, saliva and waste samples. Eli had borne it all with his usual grace.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;So you&#8217;re not angry?&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;I wish for my people to pay for their crimes by remaining in stasis until there are no others near they can hurt.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;I don&#8217;t think that&#8217;s an answer.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;Yes.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;Yes you&#8217;re angry?&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;The translator seems to think so.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nKenese tilted her head to one side. &#8220;If you could go back, would you?&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;That question makes no sense.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;What if I could take you to Earth?&#8221; Eli didn&#8217;t respond. In fact he went so still that Kenese thought something had gone wrong. &#8220;Eli?&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;Your government would not allow it.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;Eli, do you <em>want<\/em> to go to earth?&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;Your government would not allow it.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;Eli, if you agreed to revive your people then they would allow anything at all. Surely you know that by now?&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;You speak of this as though it is a bargain I would make. I do not wish my people revived.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;Eli, we&#8217;re going to do it anyway. You have to know that. You don&#8217;t get to make that decision for an entire race.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;It is not your race.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe sucked air through her teeth. &#8220;No, but they&#8217;re people and they deserve to live.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;These are human value judgements.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;I can&#8217;t make any others!&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe considered her, the membrane lowering over his eyes.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;Have you finished?&#8221; he asked finally, indicating the samples.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe made a small sound of frustration. &#8220;Yes, Eli.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;I would appreciate it if you did not make offers to me that cannot be fulfilled, Dr. Umaga.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe had never called her by name before. Never called any of them by a name that she could remember. The translator spat out static, but she could hear the taste of it in his natural voice, soft, low pitched and half swallowed.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;I&#8217;m sorry,&#8221; she said.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<hr>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;No,&#8221; Director Archaya didn&#8217;t even hesitate.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;Director, I think it would be an important step in showing Eli that there is hope for his people to\u2026&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nArchaya sighed heavily, but kindly. Kenese had little reason to trust the Company, but Archaya was a child of the modern age, and the mini empire he and his colleagues had built themselves here in space could no longer hurt the oceans and the people she loved.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;Dr. Umaga you&#8217;re not one to deal with the realities of the press, I understand that. We&#8217;ve barely been able to keep the discovery of Eli and his people off the usenets &#8212; there is no way we&#8217;d be able to keep a shuttle trip under wraps.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;Why not? We don&#8217;t have to land the shuttle in Florida, we can land it\u2026 we can land it near Heron. I can take him to the island, no one there would say anything. You know that.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;To be frank, Doctor, there&#8217;s no way this is going to happen and you know it. The expense is enormous, this would not be a one way trip. We&#8217;d have to get him back to us afterwards if he&#8217;s going to help revive the rest of his people.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;What if\u2026&#8221; she hesitated.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nArchaya cocked an eyebrow. &#8220;Yes?&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;What if this was the only condition under which he would revive his people?&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nArchaya&#8217;s lips pursed. &#8220;Is this something he has intimated to you, Dr. Umaga?&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe clasped her hands tightly in her lap. &#8220;I think he wants to go,&#8221; she said. &#8220;I think he needs some sort of connection to a planet before he&#8217;s ever going to agree to help us. I think if he doesn&#8217;t he might\u2026&#8221; she shrugged, struggling to express it. &#8220;He&#8217;s depressed. He&#8217;s angry. He&#8217;s lonely and he needs this, Director.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;You want to help him,&#8221; Archaya said.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;You know that eventually we&#8217;ll discover how to revive his people but Eli is the expert, and Eli has told us repeatedly that the process is delicate and there&#8217;s every chance if we try to do it ourselves we&#8217;ll kill some of them. Regardless of how the rest of the population feel about their actions on their home planet &#8212; and we can&#8217;t even be certain every single one we revive won&#8217;t have the same attitude that Eli does &#8212; I can&#8217;t imagine they&#8217;ll be very cooperative about sharing technology if we show so little consideration for their well-being that we kill them waking them up. And what if we kill the ones who know the things we need? What if the next one in a pod is the only engineer, the only biologist? Eli is the diplomat. Eli was meant to be the one best able to cope with us and he is uncooperative. What if we only manage to wake up the bureaucrats?&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nArchaya looked pensive. &#8220;You think we&#8217;re going to have the same problem we have with Eli with all of them.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe shrugged. Kenese couldn&#8217;t be certain. Eli was special &#8212; he was woken before the others, woken when they&#8217;d first made contact with the alien craft a lucky finder had come across in the vast expanse of the asteroid belt.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;I think that even the most technologically advanced people are going to run into problems when they face something as monumental as this.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;You&#8217;re not a psychologist, Dr. Umaga.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;No,&#8221; she sighed and ran a hand through her hair. &#8220;But I am homesick.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nArchaya&#8217;s face softened for the first time since she&#8217;d walked into his office.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;It&#8217;s not that you want to take him to the planet at all, is it, Doctor?&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe spread her hands. &#8220;I want to go home. But I don&#8217;t want to abandon him.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nArchaya&#8217;s long fingers tapped on the table for a few seconds. &#8220;I can&#8217;t promise anything,&#8221; he said. &#8220;The logistics of this are going to be a nightmare. But you can tell Eli we&#8217;ll start on the process.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<hr>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;We can go together,&#8221; she said. &#8220;I&#8217;ll show you the island. The turtles. Director Archaya has called for the next shuttle up to bring samples, make sure there&#8217;s nothing you&#8217;ll react to on the island that will harm you. You&#8217;ll need to wear an oxygen mask but they&#8217;re not very bulky these days &#8212; you should be fine.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nEli&#8217;s clawed hands opened and shut repeatedly as she talked. She was pacing the room, trying to infect him with her own enthusiasm, trying to bring him back to whatever state could be considered normal. &#8220;Doctor\u2026&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;I know you had oceans on your world &#8212; think about that, Eli! I can take you on a glass bottomed boat, you can see what we&#8217;ve done to revive the reef.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;Doctor Umaga.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;There are fish repopulating and spawning that people thought were extinct before I was born. Some of the original DNA samples we used to clone them were taken from household aquariums, can you imagine that? But the genetic mutation program gave them enough variety to thrive, we&#8217;ve managed to bring the populations up for nearly fifty percent of our target species, if we&#8217;re lucky we&#8217;ll see the reef back the way it was before the gulf wars\u2026&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;Please.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nA clawed hand had touched her arm. She was wearing a standard, long sleeved company jumpsuit, but the shock of the contact ran through her like electricity.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nEli had never touched her voluntarily before.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;Eli?&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHis eyes were too wide spaced, and the membrane that flickered across them obscured any expression she might have tried to read there. There were no lips to quirk, no cues to tell her when he might be angered or upset, simply the flat, neutral tone of the translator in her earbud, and what she could make out with her own hearing of his too low vocalizations.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe looked at her, so close that she could smell the strange musk of his skin, head tilting to one side. She wished she could gauge his expression, understand his thought processes. Wondered if she had swung so ridiculously wide of the mark that she was in physical danger.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;Thank you,&#8221; the translator spat into her ear. Eli&#8217;s fingers gently withdrew from her arm and he moved back to his usual seat.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nKenese brought her own fingers to her lips, nodded, realized that he would not understand the gesture any more than she understood his. &#8220;It&#8217;s the least I could do,&#8221; she said.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<hr>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nEli did not speak on the shuttle to Earth, nor did he speak during the rushed (but thorough) customs check. They&#8217;d landed on a mobile platform off the coastal border of North Queensland &#8212; Kenese had known from the expression on Archaya&#8217;s face as he handed her their release papers how much effort that had cost him. She wondered what would happen if this trip didn&#8217;t pan out the way she&#8217;d intimated to Archaya, if Eli decided he wasn&#8217;t going to go back, if he decided he didn&#8217;t care and his people deserved to stay frozen.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nIt was only as they approached the dock at Heron that Eli turned to her, his voice completely muffled by the oxygen mask he wore over the lower half of his face. She realized she&#8217;d been used to hearing the subtle buzz of his real voice alongside the translator&#8217;s monotone, and she missed it.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;It&#8217;s hot,&#8221; he said.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe laughed and nodded. &#8220;I&#8217;m sorry.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;No,&#8221; he said. &#8220;I like it.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<hr>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe wooden boards of the jetty hadn&#8217;t been replaced in years, and she had to resist the urge to kick off her boots &#8212; stupidly heavy weight in this climate, and feel the rough wood under her toes despite the risk of splinters. Kenese breathed in air that was rank with an algal bloom, surprised and partly delighted that the smell offended her when only two years ago she would not have noticed it. Combined with the musk of nesting black noddy terns and the salt and sand and wind, Kenese almost felt overwhelmed with sensation. Eli, though, didn&#8217;t seem at all upset. He had filters in his breathing apparatus, she supposed that only part of the nasal assault was reaching him, and despite her detailed papers and study she still did not understand how his brain processed sensations like taste and smell and touch.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe supposed she didn&#8217;t really know how any human did, either.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<hr>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThey walked, in silence, through the deserted resort, the empty science station, to her own lab. They&#8217;d replaced her, of course, with stipulations that she could return provided she could get the grants, but she was pleased to see that whichever nameless scientist had taken her place in the smallest shack near the water still had not installed screens on the windows, had left her much repaired hammock on the tiny verandah, not bothered to sweep the sand from the white tiled floor.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nEli stopped at the entrance to the lab, looking at her. &#8220;Did you bring me here for more tests?&#8221; he asked.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe shook her head. &#8220;No,&#8221; she said, motioning him through the double doors where the beach could be seen. He moved forward, but she stopped him with one hand. &#8220;Wait,&#8221; she said, then sat on the floor and started pulling off her boots.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nEli watched her, confused, she thought, while she stripped the boots and the socks from her toes and with some difficulty rolled her pants up to her shins. Eli&#8217;s huge clawed feet were encased in boots that had been specially made for him, that he could remove himself if he so wished. She nodded to him. &#8220;Take them off,&#8221; she said as she worked.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe did as she asked, without question.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nEli had proven resistant to most forms of Earth bacteria that could be picked up from sand and soil. Salt was more of a problem for his skin &#8212; used to transferring moisture far more readily than humans, and as such they had installed a special cleansing station for him behind the lab after this particular part of the trip. Still he placed three toed feet directly onto loose, coarse sand at the same moment as Kenese did. She didn&#8217;t think, but reached out to take his hand in hers as they faced the setting sun over the shifting blue and green water. It was the first time she had ever touched him directly without gloves. In her overstimulated state, his skin felt no different to that of any humans. Warm and soft, the strong beat of his heart able to be faintly felt in a counterpoint to her own.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;It smells,&#8221; Eli said after a long moment.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;Critic,&#8221; she said, breathing in deeply and trying to control the smile that wanted to split her face in two.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;The oceans of my world were a different color,&#8221; Eli said, some time later. &#8220;They smelled different. Less salt.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;Did you have much marine life?&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;No.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;Come here.&#8221; She moved forward towards the rocks, slightly worried about Eli&#8217;s bare feet on the sharp stones. He followed without hesitation, however, and when his wide sole planted on the rocks, she was surprised to see his toes curling and gripping in a way that made her think they had evolved specifically for this purpose &#8212; to scramble over rocks at the edge of the ocean.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe wondered what the children of his species looked like, wondered if some day there would be small Elis racing over rocks with buckets full of crabs and anemones, laughing or making whatever sound it was they made when they were happy.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;Here,&#8221; she said, leaning down and pointing to a small pool in a depression where two rocks met. A crab &#8212; one of the generic kinds that had survived even the worst years of the reef&#8217;s decline, rested there, eyestalks waving, legs coiled and ready to flee at the slightest hint that they might be a threat.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nEli looked at it. &#8220;What is that?&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;A crab. Crustacean.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nEli tilted his head, leaning closer. Unfortunately his movement alerted the animal, which scuttled away into the darkness between two rocks.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe translator bud in Kenese&#8217;s ear spat static at her and she could see Eli shaking a little. He was vocalizing, loud enough for her to hear over the seal of his mask.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nConcerned, she reached out and took his hand again. His large fingers closed over hers, grip strong, skin hot. &#8220;Are you all right?&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;Yes,&#8221; he said, and there was more static, and more shaking as Eli stood up again and swept his gaze back over the ocean. &#8220;Yes, Dr. Umaga, I am fine.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe followed his line of sight to the horizon, where cloud banks were building. There would be a storm tonight, she figured, with a surge of excitement. Once, during nesting season a few years ago, there had been a bioluminescent bloom in the ocean during a storm, and she and a fellow scientist dove into the pitch black water, amongst the reef sharks under the pier. Moving in the water left glowing sparks behind them, and Kenese had joked that it was like flying through the black of space, leaving a trail of stars. They had scrambled out of the water as the lightning hit, rain pelting down on them as they raced back towards the labs. Funny how being wet from rain and wet from the sea were so different. Funny how memories could be so intense, sometimes, that they were like complete emotions on their own, undefinable except by immersion.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nEli was still shaking, but he repeated himself twice more. &#8220;I am fine, Doctor. I am fine.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<hr>\n<p><mbp:pagebreak><br \/>\n<a name=\"mockingdroids\"><\/a><\/p>\n<h1 class=\"western\" style=\"font-weight: normal; page-break-before: always\" lang=\"zxx\" align=\"CENTER\">\n<font face=\"Times New Roman, serif\"><font size=\"6\">Mockingdroids<\/font><\/font><\/h1>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nBy Barry Charman<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nStanding behind the red line, Eric watched the next person step forward.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe man looked pale, his complexion was waxy, glossy. As he made nervous small talk, Eric waved a scanner over his face, three different sensors briefly flickered red.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cMr Carter? This way, please.\u201d He took him out of the queue and led him into a side room. Eric kept his office neat, black desk, grey walls. There was something about simple reduction that seemed to thoroughly unnerve people.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nCarter was stuttering now. \u201cAre my- my papers right? In order? I completed all of the evaluations, I think. I- I always miss something. It&#8217;s- it&#8217;s terrible, I know&#8230;\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nEric sat and listened. He&#8217;d mastered the dull, inattentive face. Don&#8217;t engage them. Don&#8217;t let them control the conversation, but let them fill the silence.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nWhen Carter stopped speaking, Eric studied him. \u201cWhat is your business on Mercury?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nCarter smiled, but the corner of his lips twitched fractionally. It was all about fractions.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI&#8217;ve a job- I&#8217;m applying for a job, at one of the factories.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nSlowly, Eric looked down at his pad and called up some details. \u201cYou worked for Chrome-co?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nCarter laughed, an unsuitable reaction. \u201cYes, well, briefly. You know&#8230;\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cNo, I don&#8217;t.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI was just staff. I had a desk job.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nEric caught his gaze. Held it. \u201cLot of androids pass through there. They make contacts, get skin jobs.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nCarter nodded. \u201cI heard that.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cYou ever see any?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe looked offended. \u201cNo, course not. Kept well away.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cYou never met a Ruster?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nCarter paused, unsure how to respond.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cProblem?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI&#8230; don&#8217;t agree with that term. Sorry.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cIf you don&#8217;t agree with it, what are you apologizing for?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nCarter looked upset, or tried to. \u201cIt&#8217;s just- I just- just&#8230;\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cCreepy mockingdroids. Trying to be better than they are. You never socialized with any of them? Never had one bugging out next to you while it tried to process how many times you blinked? I mean, there always comes a point they freak you out, am I right?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nCarter stepped forward, Eric quickly put up his hand. \u201cPlease step away from the desk, Sir.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI just- there&#8217;s a position for me there- I just want a chance to start somewhere fresh. It&#8217;s not been easy- I&#8217;ve not- I&#8217;ve not had it easy.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nSuch desperation.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nEric sighed. \u201cYou&#8217;ve never done this before, have you?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cSir?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cPassed as human?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nCarter blinked rapidly, too rapidly, he hadn&#8217;t got the art down. \u201cI don&#8217;t know what-\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cYou insult us both, you know that?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe room was small, one thin fluorescent light hummed above them. Carter looked blank, like whatever he&#8217;d been running on till now had just given out.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nIt was \u201clife\u201d in the grinder for passing as human. Slow disassembly, invasive deprogramming. A hard wipe to dissolve any memories that had been cultivated. No appeals, no case to plead.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cYou were hoping to assimilate. Best way to get by, right?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nCarter slumped. \u201cThe flesh riots were so long ago&#8230;\u201d He was staring down at his reflection in the dark desk. \u201cLost so many friends since then, thought some might be on Mercury, waiting&#8230;\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nEric tutted. \u201cYou need to adjust, your mannerisms are off. Dial it back ten percent. You need to watch the stuttering, and whatever program you&#8217;re using for sweat, it&#8217;s overkill.\u201d He stamped the ledger in front of him.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cGo to departure lounge ten.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nCarter looked stunned, almost. \u201cWhy would you-\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nEric smiled disarmingly, it&#8217;d taken him some time to get it right. \u201cLike I say, assimilation&#8217;s best.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<hr>\n<p><mbp:pagebreak><br \/>\n<a name=\"whisperer\"><\/a><\/p>\n<h1 class=\"western\" style=\"font-weight: normal; page-break-before: always\" lang=\"zxx\" align=\"CENTER\">\n<font face=\"Times New Roman, serif\"><font size=\"6\">The Fridge Whisperer<\/font><\/font><\/h1>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nBy Sam Tovey<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nLars crouched down on the ceramic tiles and squinted at the unit\u2019s diagnostic panel. \u201cYou said it forced you onto a wheat-only diet plan, Miss Wheeler?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cThat\u2019s right.\u201d She was standing at the far end of the room, a look of unease on her slender face. Her petite nose curved above narrow lips; features that seemed remarkably familiar to him. When she\u2019d first answered the door, Lars had almost thought he\u2019d called in on his wife by mistake. \u201cBut that\u2019s not all. It&#8230;talks to me.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe unit was supposed to be conversational&#8211;provide recipe suggestions, offer dietary advice&#8211;but Lars had a feeling she meant something else entirely. He let out a deep breath and flipped the debugging switch. A blue light swelled on the panel.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhat have you been saying to Miss Wheeler?\u201d he asked.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI want her to know how much I adore her,\u201d the fridge said. \u201cThe curves of her body set my circuits ablaze with passion.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nLars glanced at the woman and raised an eyebrow. \u201cYou love her?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWith every inch of my silicon, yes. But I fear she does not feel the same. She spurns my advances. Hides behind a wall of silence.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nLars frowned and wiped a hand on his green coveralls. The third-gen models were prone to memory leaks, which might have warped its personality matrix. If he didn\u2019t fix it soon, the bug could spread across the whole network. He surveyed the other appliances in the room&#8211;the dishwasher, the oven, the toaster&#8211;and wondered what a lovesick kitchen might look like. He hoped he wouldn\u2019t have to find out.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhat am I supposed to do?\u201d Miss Wheeler said. \u201cSing it love songs while it feeds me bread?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cNot just bread.\u201d The unit\u2019s blue light pulsed. \u201cShe likes bagels and waffles. Pop tarts too.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nPop tarts? Lars\u2019 eyes shot to the small chrome box sitting on the counter. \u201cIs that a smart-toaster, Miss Wheeler?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe shook her head. The afternoon light bounced off her wavy hair and he saw how easily someone could fall in love with her. She really did look like his wife; she had the same brown eyes that he could get lost in forever. But the fridge wasn\u2019t talking about her.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cDo you have any idea what it\u2019s like to love someone who doesn\u2019t love you back?\u201d it pined.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nLars cracked open the panel and had a look at its settings. Sure enough, the fridge had been set up to interact with the toaster, driven slowly insane by its one-way channel. He killed the connection and hit the reset button. \u201cThat should do it.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe woman thanked him as he got to his feet. She stared at the fridge while it booted back up, her face growing wistful. \u201cIt would be terrible to have all those emotions just wiped out like that. As if they never happened.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cYeah. Better to have loved and lost, I suppose,\u201d Lars said. But as he left the kitchen he found himself rubbing the empty space on his finger where he no longer wore a ring, wishing for a reset button of his own.\n<\/p>\n<hr>\n<p><mbp:pagebreak><br \/>\n<a name=\"sita\"><\/a><\/p>\n<h1 class=\"western\" style=\"font-weight: normal; page-break-before: always\" lang=\"zxx\" align=\"CENTER\">\n<font face=\"Times New Roman, serif\"><font size=\"6\">Golden Sita<\/font><\/font><\/h1>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nBy Bindia Persaud<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe queen had been cast out, abandoned in the forest on the orders of her husband. No one knew what had become of her. Perhaps she had slipped on the muddy banks of a river and been borne away by the current. Perhaps she had trudged through the trackless wilderness, her delicate feet lanced by thorns, until she succumbed to thirst and exhaustion. Perhaps wild beasts had ravened her. Great with child as she was, she could have met with any number of calamities.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nSita\u2019s exile was my doing. My name is Durmukha. I was a harem attendant to King Dasharatha, and now I serve his son Rama in the same capacity. My duties are not onerous. I while away the hours, watching the discarded concubines of the late king quarrel over the possession of a prized scrap of silk or a jeweled cummerbund. Sometimes, though, I am asked to take up heavier tasks. Such was the case when Rama asked me to go into the city and elicit the opinions of the citizens, whether high or low, regarding his rule. I did as he asked. Everywhere I went, Ayodhya\u2019s inhabitants voiced the same refrain \u2013 the young king had obliterated their memories of the old, such was his virtue. Yet underneath the praise, a discordant note sounded. They harbored doubts about the queen. During Rama\u2019s sojourn in the forest, she had been abducted, and it was some time before her husband recovered her. Her demon captor was known as a great seducer, and might she not have yielded?\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nWhen Rama called me before him, I was tempted to keep the people\u2019s calumny to myself, but when he turned his gentle gaze upon me, I found that I could not. I realized my mistake as soon as I stopped talking. His expression hardened and he set his mouth in an implacable line. I hastened to add that those who had maligned the queen were persons of no account: gamblers, washer men, women with no claim to chastity themselves. He would not hear it. He raised a hand to silence me, and turned to his brother Lakshmana. By the next day, the queen was gone.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nAfter Sita\u2019s banishment, the king remained sequestered in his quarters, showing himself only to a chosen few. We attendants despaired of ever seeing him again, and when he did re-emerge, his appearance shocked us. He was gaunt and his complexion, which had once possessed the brilliant dark luster of sapphire, was overlaid with a sickly pallor. Without ceremony, he approached me. \u201cCome with me,\u201d he commanded. \u201cI wish to survey the city.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI led him through the palace gates and into Ayodhya. No one recognized him, splendor-dimmed as he was. The city\u2019s lineaments were unchanged. Its boulevards were wide and gracious, its white walls pristine. The pleasure-tanks dotted here and there were strewn with lotuses and waterfowl. There was only one difference: the absence of women. The Ayodhya of my youth had rung with the voices of women day and night \u2013 young girls shrieking in play, wives calling their husbands in to dinner, female artisans advertising their wares. None of that remained. As we made our way into the heart of the city, we caught a glimpse of a respectable matron accompanying her husband, but she made not a sound, and her eyes were fastened upon her lord\u2019s feet, as if tied there by an invisible string. I couldn\u2019t help but think the queen\u2019s exile had something to do with the city\u2019s new stillness. If a paragon like Sita could not escape blame and censure, what hope had ordinary women? Perhaps they found it more prudent to hide themselves away. I glanced at the king to see what he made of the change, but his face was impassive.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe scene grew livelier as we entered the merchants\u2019 quarter. We passed stalls offering sweetmeats, bolts of silk, spices. I urged my lord to stop and sample the goods on display, but he shook his head and pushed his way through the throng. He paused at the entrance to an alleyway. A hand was beckoning him, the fair hand of a woman. Surely this was some courtesan, more brazen than most, attempting to inveigle him. I pushed past the king, ready to rebuke the woman, but when I had her in my sights, I stopped short. She wore the austere white garb of an ascetic, and her hair was arranged in a simple topknot. The king bowed in reverence, and I followed suit. Without a word, the woman turned and motioned for us to follow.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nAs we trod the narrow passageway, I studied our guide. Holy woman she may have been, but her body had a sensual allure that belied her vocation. Ascetics, whether male or female, are sinewy and hollow-cheeked, with eyes that burn with fervor. This woman\u2019s gaze was cool and languid, and her broad flanks swayed as she placed one foot in front of the other. The king was discomfited, I could tell, though he made no outward sign.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nWe stopped at an alcove. The woman moved towards a veiled figure in the darkness, and pulled its cover away. I couldn\u2019t stifle a gasp as the figure came into view. It was a statue of Sita, sitting cross-legged, life-sized, and a perfect likeness in all respects. The figure was fashioned out of a pale gold that captured something of Sita\u2019s lambent complexion. It wore a grave expression and its eyes were closed.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe king stood still for a moment, lost in contemplation. The ascetic smiled. \u201cTake her, my lord, she is yours. She was made to serve as a replacement for your precious wife!\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nRama tore his eyes away from the figure and regarded the woman. \u201cI thank you, mother, for this gift. The workmanship is as fine as any I\u2019ve seen. But you must know there is no woman on earth who could replace Sita, much less a lifeless statue.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cLifeless, you say?\u201d The ascetic beckoned to me. \u201cTouch her hand.\u201d I approached and did as she asked. I expected the metal to be cool to the touch, but instead it was infused with a subtle warmth. What\u2019s more, the palm was moist and the fingers curled at the pressure from my own. The ascetic nodded to Rama. \u201cNow you, sir.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nWhen Rama placed his hand in the statue\u2019s, the most astounding thing happened. The figure got to her feet and turned her face towards the king. Her eyes fluttered open and she drew her lips back in a smile, revealing pearly teeth. Rama stepped back and cried out, such was his wonder. It was then that I understood. This was no mere statue, but a mechanical doll, a contrivance known as a yantra. Where the holy woman had acquired the skill to create such a device, I could not say. She turned to the king. \u201cYou see, my daughter recognizes her husband. Lead her home. She will follow you, as a wife should.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nMy lord nodded. He took the hand that he had dropped in fright, and we set out for the palace, I in front, Rama behind, and the golden woman bringing up the rear. We took a circuitous route through the dense honeycomb of side streets, so as not to attract the attention of the populace. When we arrived at the palace gates, Rama halted and placed the yantra\u2019s hand in mine. \u201cInstall her in private rooms, away from the women. Await my further instructions.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI obeyed. The doll lapsed into insensibility as soon as I found lodgings for her. In truth I was relieved, for she discomfited me.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nAt first, Rama would have no truck with her beyond what was strictly necessary. She was present on those ceremonial occasions that require a queen. She sat by the king\u2019s side, eyes downcast, her fingers lightly brushing his arm. Her movements were so minute that only those who knew what she was (that is, the king and I) could register them. To everyone else, she was just a beautiful statue. Some of the bolder nobles laughingly congratulated Rama on the ingenious way he had fulfilled the vow he had made as a youth \u2013 that of taking only a single wife.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI have long pondered that vow, unprecedented among royalty. Humble folk must confine themselves to one spouse, and even those more highly placed may do so, if they happen to be uxorious or they have powerful fathers-in-law whom they do not wish to antagonize. With kings though, matters are different. Just as a number of tributaries flow into the sea, a monarch should be surrounded by scores of women. That was the case with the former king, Dasharatha. Rama\u2019s mother, Kausalya, may have been the chief queen, but she wasn\u2019t the most favored, and I don\u2019t think she had her husband\u2019s exclusive attention for more than a week. I remember an incident I witnessed when Rama was just a lad. Kausalya was having her hair dressed by a saucy, dark-eyed chit whose name I no longer remember. The king entered the room, no doubt with some question for his queen, and caught sight of the girl. Without a word, he took her hand and led her off. She reappeared half an hour later, disheveled and triumphant, and started braiding her mistress\u2019s hair as if nothing had happened. Kausalya was too well-bred to show her displeasure openly, but I never saw the girl again.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nWhen Rama married Sita, that miraculous princess born from the earth\u2019s furrow, those who had wrinkled their brows in consternation at his oath now claimed that they understood. Sita was such a treasure house of virtues, what man who possessed her could wish to seek out another? I, who am intimately acquainted with the inner workings of the harem, know better. Sita\u2019s merits, great as they were, did not impel Rama\u2019s vow. It came about because of his own desire to be, if not a better man than his father, a different one.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nAs Rama spent more and more time in the yantra\u2019s company, I had further occasion to reflect on the differences between the old king and the new. Dasharatha was a man who could give himself over entirely to women \u2013 had he not banished Rama thanks to a promise he had made to Kaikeyi, his favorite queen? Rama lacked this capacity, or if he had it, he suppressed it. He loved Sita, there can be no doubt about that, but he kept a part of himself aloof from her. Even after he returned in triumph to Ayodhya, his exile over, his wife in his arms again, he didn\u2019t surrender fully to the happiness he had earned. It was my task to watch over Rama and Sita when, royal duties over, they retired to the private garden that had been built expressly for them. They would wander hand in hand among the fruit groves, as closely united as a word and its meaning. One minute they would be conferring happily, dark cheek pressed against fair, and then Rama would seize Sita\u2019s chin and turn her face towards him, searching for I know not what. Sita, for her part, would regard her husband with tremulous eyes, as if fearing his displeasure. He would sigh and turn away, shrugging off the brush of her fingers.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe did not rebuff the yantra in the same manner. If anything, she forced him to pursue her. Whenever he entered her presence she would bow deeply, hands folded, but her deference ended there. When he walked with her in the garden, she would run ahead and look over her shoulder to make sure he was following. The doll did not possess the power of speech, but her lips and eyebrows were eloquent enough. Rama would snatch at her garments and she would elude him, moving with all the grace of a dancer. When she did allow herself to be caught, she would run her burnished hands through his curls, before leading him to a stone bench. There she would recline, Rama\u2019s head in her lap.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI did not like this. Pampered and cossetted wives can be headstrong, but they know their limits. This creature exhibited the willfulness of a courtesan, one of those fatal women who unmake kingdoms. I knew Rama had been unmanned when I came upon him on his knees, cradling her foot in his palm. \u201cA thorn,\u201d he said by way of explanation, when he became aware of my scrutiny. If he were not my master, I would have cursed him aloud for his foolishness. Can a thorn pierce metal? My anger was stirred, too, at the thought that this soulless puppet was receiving the homage due to the true queen, who had been cast away as if not worth a straw.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThat night, I stole into the room where the yantra was stored. Even now, I cannot say what I planned to do. I only had the inchoate notion that the doll\u2019s influence over the king must end. She only ever truly came to life in Rama\u2019s presence, so I felt no fear as I approached her. When I reached out my hand though, her eyes flew open, startling me. I stumbled backwards and exited the room without turning around. Once outside, I crumpled against a wall, blood sounding in my ears.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI never tried to harm the yantra again. As the years deepened, so did Rama\u2019s devotion. The real Sita had loved animals, and, as if in remembrance of her, Rama appointed craftsmen, in Ayodhya and beyond, to create a menagerie for her facsimile. Silver-bellied deer gamboled in grass fashioned from emerald, while copper-throated birds serenaded Rama and his consort with songs so piercing and plaintive one would avow they emerged from the throats of living creatures. Increasingly, Rama left the governance of the kingdom in the hands of his brothers and ministers, while he hid himself away with his playfellow. Those who were not privy to the truth declared that the king was still prostrate with grief over the loss of Sita, despite the passage of time. Only I and a select few knew otherwise.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nOften I have wondered why Rama chose to withhold his affection from his legitimate spouse and lavish it on an imitation instead. I think I have the answer. The yantra\u2019s waywardness was all a show; she fled from the king, but she always yielded in the end, for she was created for him. A flesh-and-blood woman cannot cleave to her lord so absolutely. The most dutiful of wives may harbor unfulfilled hankerings; the most chaste may yearn for another\u2019s bed. Rama turned away from Sita, not because of any wrongdoing on her part, but because she, like all mortals, possessed the capacity for wrongdoing.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nA dozen years had passed since the queen&#8217;s exile. Life in the palace still trundled along, although the question of the succession remained a vexed one. Perhaps to shore up his power, Rama ordered a horse sacrifice. The finest stallion in the kingdom was let loose to wander for a year, open to all challengers. If, after the allotted time was up, the steed had eluded capture, it would be guided back to Ayodhya and ceremonially killed, in token of Rama\u2019s undisputed might.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nNot three days after the release of the horse, unexpected reports began to trickle back to the city. The stallion had been detained at the hermitage of a sage named Valmiki. That is astonishing in itself, but, what\u2019s more, the steed\u2019s captors were lads of no more than twelve. One, it was said, had a complexion of the purest moonlight; the other was as dark as the enveloping night.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nRama himself set out for the ashram to investigate. When he returned he said little, but decreed that a ceremony would be held there in a week\u2019s time, open to the citizenry at large.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe came to me to discuss preparations for the transport of the queen\u2019s mother to the hermitage. I could tell he was only half-listening as I expounded on the advantages of a certain kind of chariot over another. When I had finished speaking he turned to me. \u201cShe is alive,\u201d he said, in a voice not much louder than a whisper. \u201cThe boys are my sons.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI had had an inkling of this, but hearing it spoken aloud still caused my heart to leap. Rama became more animated. He rose and began pacing the room. \u201cOnce the people see that my beloved is pure, she can return. If she makes her vow in front of all, I can take her back with an open heart. Surely we will not be denied this?\u201d The king looked younger, almost boyish as he talked. I was gladdened, for here was the possibility of real happiness, not the counterfeit form he had found in the arms of the yantra.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nOn the chosen day, I was given a place close to the head of the procession. Rama led the way, of course, the doll by his side. He caught my eye and smiled. \u201cWhat will my beloved think of her co-wife?\u201d The puppet, insofar as she had any expression at all, looked bored and sulky.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nBehind the nobles the people followed, on foot, on horseback, in palanquins and oxcarts. It seemed as if every last inhabitant of Ayodhya was present. No doubt this is what the king intended. We arrived just as the sun reached its zenith. Even so, the tree cover near the hermitage was so thick that the light barely penetrated. In spite of the festival atmosphere that prevailed over the gathering, I felt a curious sense of foreboding. I wasn\u2019t the only one. When I looked over at Rama, mounted high on his dais, his face was tight with unspoken tension.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nWhen the crowd had quieted sufficiently, the august sage Valmiki led the two boys out. If anyone had questioned their paternity, one look would have been sufficient to quell any doubts, for their countenances united Rama\u2019s majesty with Sita\u2019s sweetness. Without preamble they began to sing, their voices putting the inhabitants of the king\u2019s mechanical aviary to shame.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nTheir ballad had never been heard before by any citizen of Ayodhya, yet it was familiar to all. It told the tale of a favored prince, cast out of his kingdom due to the machinations of a jealous stepmother, and the faithful wife who accompanied him. In spite of the harshness and privation of forest life, they learned to be happy, until the wife was snatched away. Her sorrowing husband launched a great war to reclaim her, but once her abductor was vanquished, she met with unkindness at her lord\u2019s hands. She was rebuked harshly before a gathering of his allies, and, unable to bear the humiliation, she hurled herself into a funeral pyre. She did not meet death, though; Agni, the fire god himself, delivered her out of the flames and attested to her purity. Satisfied, her husband took her back. A brief period of contentment followed, until suspicion alighted upon her again, and she was driven out.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cAnd now, Rama, it is up to you to decide the end of the story,\u201d Valmiki said as he went to fetch Sita. There were tears in Rama\u2019s eyes as she came into view. Without jewels, with her hair in a simple braid, she was exquisite. I had always taken the yantra to be a faultless copy, but compared to the original she was showy and coarse.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nRama\u2019s voice trembled as he addressed his wife. \u201cSita, I ask you to prove yourself before the gathered people. Do so, and you may take your place as queen again!\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nWhen Sita replied, her voice could scarcely be heard above the soughing in the trees. \u201cIf I have loved only one man, if I have dedicated myself to him, body and soul, may the gracious earth receive me.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nWith a crack like thunder, a seam opened up in the ground before Sita\u2019s feet. Slowly, before all our astonished eyes, a throne emerged. The woman seated upon it had flowers in her hair and skin the color of rich, loamy soil. Every man, woman and child present knew without being told that this was Bhudevi, the broad-breasted earth goddess. I had seen her before, as had the king. She had appeared before us as the ascetic who had given the yantra to Rama. I do not know how I could ever have mistaken her for a mortal woman.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe goddess drew Sita towards her and seated her on the throne. Side-by-side, mother and daughter began their ceremonious descent into the bowels of the earth. Silence reigned until they disappeared from view. It was broken by a roar from Rama as he approached the spot where his wife last stood. He fell to his knees and dug his fingers into the dirt. He pleaded to be admitted into the underworld himself, so that he could live beside his love. He threatened to raze the earth\u2019s hills and harrow her valleys until she agreed to hand Sita back to him. No reply was forthcoming, and, little by little, his howls dwindled into sobs.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nWhen the king had composed himself, we traveled back to Ayodhya. The boys came with us. They have been installed as Rama\u2019s successors. I cannot say they respect him as sons should respect their fathers, nor does Rama love them as Dasharatha loved him. The king and his heirs-apparent do their duty to each other, and perhaps that is enough.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nWhat else is there to say? The world is a sadder place without Sita in it. When she left, she took something with her, some intangible quality, call it mercy, or pity perhaps. She took something else too. The animating spark that once inhabited the yantra has flown. Her eyes do not open when Rama enters her presence, her fingers no longer reach for him. She is cool, marmoreal, lifeless. When she sits beside him on state occasions, as she still does, it is clear to all that she is nothing more than a golden doll.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI have often thought it cruel for the earth goddess to deny Rama solace like this. But perhaps that was her plan. She whetted his desire and snatched away its object, leaving him more bereft than before. This keen-edged punishment seems out of keeping with the compassion that Bhudevi is known for. But who can fathom the ways of the gods? We twist and turn at their command, without ever knowing it. In their hands, we are all yantras.\n<\/p>\n<hr>\n<p><mbp:pagebreak><br \/>\n<a name=\"kospora\"><\/a><\/p>\n<h1 class=\"western\" style=\"font-weight: normal; page-break-before: always\" lang=\"zxx\" align=\"CENTER\">\n<font face=\"Times New Roman, serif\"><font size=\"6\">A Wizard of Kospora<\/font><\/font><\/h1>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nBy Lynn Rushlau<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe cowbell on the gate cut through the music. Mela&#8217;s mom stopped in the middle of a sentence. Glanced at dad. He looked sharply at Verry, who set his fiddle against the wall and disappeared inside. Lyran caught Mela&#8217;s hand and the two stepped back into the shadows. Her brother returned carrying two crossbows as the three strangers reached the light coming from the porch.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;You&#8217;re trespassing on private property.&#8221; Her dad and brother aimed at the mercenaries to either side of a cloaked man.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe man held up both hands. &#8220;We mean no harm. I am Kippis, Wizard of Kospora. My companions are King&#8217;s Guards, Tatkin and Doresse. Have we reached the farm of Lennert of Lomn?&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nDad nodded stiffly, but didn&#8217;t lower his crossbow. &#8220;I&#8217;m Lennert.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nMela&#8217;s brow furrowed. Kospora had no king. Hadn&#8217;t in hundreds of years. And wizards were the stuff of stories.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nKippis smiled. &#8220;We&#8217;re seeking someone very important to all of Kospora. A great danger has arisen in the South. We&#8217;ve seen signs that the Shayden are rebuilding  their army. The winds bring tales that they&#8217;ve uncovered an old grimoire and seek to raise terrors last seen in the War of Etwese to reclaim their power.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;Here in Kospora, a new generation of wizards has reformed the Council of the Enlightened. Just like the wizards of old, they are sworn to do everything they can to protect our kingdom. Our land stands to this day only because King Illys, Ninth of his Name, unlocked the seals of Xew and awoke the Winter Knights from their eternal slumber.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;Only one of his bloodline would be able to repeat that feat. My brethren and I scour the land, chasing rumors. Studying town records to find any trace of the remnants of his line. One of my colleagues, a great seer, consulted the stars, the cards, the runes. All auguries agree: we seek an orphan living somewhere in the Okerns.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nLyran and Mela exchanged an excited look. Nothing ever happened in the sleepy, agrarian Okerns.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;Unfortunately, auguries being what they are, they could give no better advice. But we have other resources and those led us here. We believe your niece Lyran could be the one week seek.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nEveryone turned to stare at Lyran, who shook her head. Her hand crushed Mela&#8217;s.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nLennert snorted. &#8220;Lyran&#8217;s hardly an orphan. My brother is still quite alive.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nAs far as they knew. A sailor&#8217;s life was never guaranteed. But then again, no one&#8217;s was.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;But her mother?&#8221; Kippis asked, an eyebrow quirked. &#8220;Died in childbirth, no? Do you know her line? Her family&#8217;s history?&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nTheir parents exchanged a look that clearly showed how startled they were by the question.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;They were from the next village over. Of course, we knew them.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe wizard and his companions exchanged a significant look.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;Knew. As in dead? Bennan said the line had dwindled,&#8221; Kippis said, more to his companions than the family. Lyran&#8217;s grip tightened on her hand. Mela glanced over and caught her pleading look.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;But Lyran is not an orphan. She cannot be the one you&#8217;re looking for,&#8221; she said.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nTheir mom smiled. Wrinkles smoothing on her face. &#8220;My daughter speaks the truth. Lyran has a father and family. We can&#8217;t help you.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe wizard&#8217;s hand fluttered dismissively. &#8220;Oracles are vague. They might not have meant &#8216;orphan.&#8217; Orphan might have been the only word they could find for motherless and abandoned by her father.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nMom&#8217;s lips thinned. Dad&#8217;s eyes narrowed. They&#8217;d raised Lyran since birth, and Mela knew they considered her as much their child and Mela and her brother. How dare these strangers barge in here and judge her family?\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;My brother did not abandon his child.&#8221; Dad&#8217;s voice was steely. Lyran&#8217;s free left hand went to the pendant hanging around her throat. Uncle Tavall sent it for Lyran&#8217;s birthday only five months back when she turned fifteen.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;We do have a way to prove the Methinald bloodline.&#8221; The wizard swung his pack around, shoved his hand down into the depths, and withdrew an object wrapped in a shimmery purple silk.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe fabric unwound to reveal a silver coronet shaped like a bird. A crow. They were sacred in Kospora. The Methinald kings had taken crows as their sigil. Its head bent to the side and beak opened to clasp a brilliant ruby. Wings spread to either side creating the round sides of the coronet.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;This was the coronet of the king-to-be. Upon the head of the chosen heir of the land, the stone will glow.&#8221; Eyebrows raised, he held the coronet up and faced Lyran.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe made a tiny squeak of dismay that Mela didn&#8217;t think anyone else heard. Their parents looked at each other.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nMela slipped her hand free and took the coronet. The wizard frowned, but he let her take it. She gave Lyran a funny smile, meant to be reassuring, as she set the coronet on Lyran&#8217;s head.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nTension slipped from Mela&#8217;s shoulders. The silver coronet sat there and did noth&#8211;a faint red glow appeared in the heart of the ruby. Startled, she took a step back. Watching the hope die in Lyran&#8217;s eyes broke her heart.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe wizard and his companions fell to their knees. &#8220;Your Highness.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHer cousin ripped the coronet off her head and stared at the now brightly glowing ruby. The light faded in her hands.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;I&#8217;m not.&#8221; She shot beseeching looks at their parents, at Mela.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nKippis stood slowly. &#8220;My dear, you are the hope of all Kospora. Without you, the Shayden will swallow us whole. You must come with us to Kressler.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;Now wait a minute here,&#8221; dad said. &#8220;You&#8217;re not taking my niece anywhere.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;Sir, please hear what we are saying. We&#8217;re not the only ones looking for her. We can&#8217;t be. The Shayden know that only one of the Methinald can summon the Winter Knights. They were winning in the War of Etwese until Illys brought the Winter Knights into the war. Without the Knights, we don&#8217;t stand a chance and they know it.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;What better way to ensure our loss than kill off every last Methinald? Can you protect her when Shadows slip into your farm in the dark of night, armed with their blackblades, crawling across your ceilings to her bedroom?\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;Are you and your son crack shots with those crossbows and proficient in swordplay? I don&#8217;t think your village has so much as a lawman. Do you know anyone in a fifty-mile radius skilled in any sort of combat? Do you think they&#8217;ll assassinate only Lyran? You have an entire family to protect.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nDad&#8217;s face had creased into a worried frown, but at those last words he glowered. &#8220;You think I would sacrifice my niece to protect my other children?&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;No, of course not. That&#8217;s not what I meant.&#8221; The wizard shook his head.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;He only meant if you let us protect Lyran, all your loved ones will be safe. Lyran included,&#8221; the guard Doresse said.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;This isn&#8217;t something to decide tonight&#8211;&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;But the Shayden&#8211;&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;If they kill us all in our sleep tonight, feel free to gloat,&#8221; dad said. &#8220;Kids, it&#8217;s time for bed.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe took the coronet from Lyran and shoved it back into the hands of the wizard. She pivoted and dashed into the house. Mela hurried after her. Her cousin&#8217;s feet pounded down the hall overhead before she reached the stairs.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThough she ran upstairs, her cousin was already in bed, under the covers. Tossing looks over her shoulder every few minutes at her still and quiet cousin, she undressed and turned out the light.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;I am NOT leaving.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;It might be safest.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nAn outraged huff. &#8220;You would send me away with them?&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;If they&#8217;re right&#8211;&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;I can&#8217;t believe you.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nMela threw a pillow at her. &#8220;Would you let me talk? That crown lit up. You&#8217;re not safe here. If the South&#8217;s really rising, they will send assassins for you. I&#8217;m not saying you should go off alone with them. I&#8217;ll come with you. Maybe Verry will come too.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;Dad needs him on the farm. He needs you both.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;Needs all of us, I&#8217;d say.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;Exactly. Which is why I intend to stay right here in Lomn.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;You know you can&#8217;t. We&#8217;ll all die. I will go with you. Even if no one else can. We&#8217;ll send word to Uncle Tavall. Kressler&#8217;s one of his ports of call. He&#8217;ll come as soon as he can. You won&#8217;t be alone with them.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<hr>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nDespite tears and arguments all through the morning chores, Mela and Lyran had bags packed and were waiting when the wizard returned at noon.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;What&#8217;s this?&#8221; He looked at Mela.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;I&#8217;m going with Lyran.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nKippis was shaking his head before she finished speaking. &#8220;No, that&#8217;s not possible.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;We&#8217;re not sending our Lyran off alone with you,&#8221; Verry growled.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe wizard faced their parents. &#8220;There are only three of us. Do you believe that we can protect two girls against a fleet of Shadows should we need? Our priority must be Lyran. We couldn&#8217;t guarantee Mela&#8217;s safety. Her presence endangers the heir.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThere was no budging him. Mela couldn&#8217;t see what the difference was between three people protecting one or two, but he refused to give a good answer to that. They argued for a good half hour before Kippis threw up his hands. &#8220;We must be on the roads now. Please.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nA few more minutes and their parents caved in. Glaring at the wizard, Mela huffed harshly and pulled Lyran into a swift hug and whispered in her ear, &#8220;Play along.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe pivoted, swept up her bag, and raced through the house&#8211;stopping in the kitchen for a few extra supplies&#8211;and out the back door. As if she was going to let that wizard order her around.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nBegging the gods for help and chanting, &#8220;don&#8217;t see me, don&#8217;t see me,&#8221; softly, she ran through the fields. She spotted neighbors here and there, busily working. Not one of them looked her way or called out to her. At the edge of town, she climbed a tree by the road. Another half hour passed before the wizard, his guards and Lyran appeared.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nKippis spoke animatedly to Lyran. Her reddened eyes looked everywhere but at him. Mela&#8217;s heart ached to see her cousin so miserable, but she dared not reveal herself here, not within the bounds of the village. The wizard would simply send her home.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nWalking to Kressler took five days. She skulked through the woods the entire way. Slept hidden in trees. Only ducked out near the road a few times a day to ensure she still followed the group. She continued to beg the gods of the valley to keep her hidden whenever she took that risk.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe didn&#8217;t like the woods. Strange noises emanated from behind trees. Too many that sounded like the wizard&#8217;s guards about to stumble upon her. Or worse. Forest barbarians who shouldn&#8217;t be this far east, but one could never know. All that rusting of leaves. Random cracks that might be a footstep on a twig. Her legs ached. Blisters formed and broke on her feet. Her head ached constantly. She was so tired and so hungry and often dizzy.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nBut too scared to present herself to the wizard.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nAfraid he&#8217;d send her on home, even with home being days away now.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nWorse, she feared he already knew. The dizziness struck only after she spied on them to ensure she still followed them. The wizard&#8217;s go-home spells weren&#8217;t going to work on her. She refused to abandon Lyran. If Kippis wanted her to, he&#8217;d have to come up with something stronger.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe morning of the fifth day, they turned from the road through the woods onto a main thoroughfare. Carts, wagons, and dozens of people on foot moved either direction. Lyran and her escort turned in front of a three-wagon caravan. Mela panicked, hesitated, and crept behind the third cart, pretending she was meant to be here.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe walls filled the horizon. She stared, awestruck, as they grew closer. The gates loomed taller than any structure in all of Lomn. Tall as the tallest trees.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nAnother road intersected theirs a hundred yards or so from the gate. A spill of people merged onto the road from both directions. She couldn&#8217;t see Kippis or Lyran at all. In this crush, once they went inside, she&#8217;d have no idea how to find them.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHeart stuttering, she tried to shove her way forward, but earned curses and a few attempted hits and rethought that plan. Kippis was a wizard. There had to be somewhere the wizards all set up in Kressler. Someone would know how to find them.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe guards paid her no attention&#8211;answering her desperate prayers as she approached them. Inside, she hurried around the streets as best she could in the crowd, looking for any glimpse of Lyran&#8217;s golden hair or Kippis&#8217; spangled robes.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHope fled. Crossing her fingers, she approached the vendors on the left side of the street and chose the friendliest-looking woman.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;What can I get you?&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;I&#8217;m sorry, I was just wondering did you see a wizard pass through here?&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe woman pealed with laughter. &#8220;A wizard? I doubt there&#8217;s been a wizard in Kospora in three centuries. Wizard!&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nMela shook her head. &#8220;He was coming here. To Kressler. His name&#8217;s Kippis.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nAll the laughter fled. The woman&#8217;s mien turned dark and serious. &#8220;You don&#8217;t want anything to do with that lot, sweetheart. They&#8217;ll sell you off faster than you could call for help.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nMela stared at her. The words made no sense.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;Scraggly black beard running grey? Losing half his hair? Struts about in spangled robes?&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe nodded to each question. The woman&#8217;s face softened into sympathy.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;He&#8217;s no wizard, sweetheart. It&#8217;s a scam. He works for Toble.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nBrow furrowed, she shook her head. Who?\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;He&#8217;s a slaver. The Monglave Empire sets a value on pretty girls from Kospora. They&#8217;d snatch you up in a heartbeat.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe shook her head again. &#8220;No, that&#8217;s the wrong man. Kippis, this one&#8217;s a wizard. He had a tiara that lit up.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe woman winced. &#8220;Took someone of yours? Maybe Kippis has a little magic. Maybe they bought that tiara you saw off someone who did. They do a lot of business with Monglave, and they&#8217;ve got great Shamans over there. Powers you wouldn&#8217;t believe.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;But it&#8217;s a scam. Toble has half a dozen he uses to trap his victims into coming to Kressler docilely. When he has enough of them locked up, he ships the load off to Monglave.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe refused to believe this. &#8220;But slavery&#8217;s illegal in Kospora. If you know, the guards must know&#8211;&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nUnless this woman was one of them. She backed a pace away.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe woman spat over her shoulder. &#8220;Anyone could tell you this. The guards do know. Toble pays them to look the other way. Oh, I&#8217;m sure if it was thrown in their faces. If one of the victims fought and was brought into Kressler bound? I would think they&#8217;d have to put a stop to that. But Toble&#8217;s schemes work. People follow him willingly. Everyone wants to be important. Find glory and acclaim, no?\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;He has his people move them to the ships in the middle of the night when no one&#8217;s around to see and protest the poor, unwilling, bound and gagged victims&#8217; last moments on Kospora&#8217;s soil.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nMela&#8217;s heart pounded in her chest. Chills ran down her spine, while fire filled her face. &#8220;Lyran didn&#8217;t. My cousin didn&#8217;t want to go at all. They forced her. Where&#8211;?&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHer voice broke on the &#8220;where.&#8221;  She didn&#8217;t trust herself to try another word.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;I&#8217;m sorry, honey. Clearly you love her, but it&#8217;s hopeless. Go home. Stay safe.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe couldn&#8217;t. She squeaked, &#8220;Where? Please.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe woman grimaced and pointed slightly left with her chin. &#8220;See that road over there? Next to the Wayward Sun Public House?&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nMela pivoted and spotted the pub with the sun on its sign.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;That&#8217;s Harbor Road. Their headquarters are in the warehouse district, down nearer the harbor. You&#8217;re looking at an hour&#8217;s walk, but that&#8217;s a main thoroughfare. Stick to it until you get to Preacher&#8217;s Square. You should know you&#8217;ve reached it. There are three great statues in the square. One in the center, one at the east end, the other at the west. Lovian the Wise, Prilla of West Zicklin and Quillan Recek. You get lost before you reach the square, ask for directions there to set you back on your path.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;Carpenters Road leads east from behind the statue of Quillan Recek. I&#8217;m afraid that&#8217;s the last good point of reference I have for you. Not sure where his place of operations is. Rumors say to stay off Purvest Lane so maybe there? It should have a sign for Toble&#8217;s on it. Don&#8217;t recall what exactly his business is called, but it&#8217;ll have his name on it. That&#8217;s all I know.&#8221; The woman shrugged.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;Thank you,&#8221; Mela said.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;Here.&#8221; The woman held out a kebob.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;I haven&#8217;t the money.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;On the house. We need a better reason to be talking.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe took the kebob. &#8220;Thank you. For everything.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;If you really want to thank me, go home. Mourn your cousin. They&#8217;ll sell you too.&#8221; The woman sighed. &#8220;Wish you&#8217;d listen. No? Good luck. You&#8217;ll need it.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nMela only hoped she&#8217;d not used all hers up just getting to Kressler.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe road was crowded, but wide and straight and perfectly easy to follow. Still she checked every street sign to confirm she remained on Harbor Road. The street spilled out at Preacher&#8217;s Square, where every few feet an adherent to one path or another stood on a dais, a box, in a circle of candles, bellowing the word of their chosen gods&#8211;none of whom seemed to be the familiar gods of the valley.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nWorried enough not to trust herself to reach an obvious conclusion&#8211;after all, she&#8217;d been wrong about the wizard being a wizard&#8211;she visited each statue, reading its plaque to confirm this must be Preacher&#8217;s Square.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nBehind the statue of Quillan Recek, who smiled benevolently at her from above a pile of seashells, she spotted Carpenters Road. Her trek slowed at that point. Alleyways and larger roads branched off Carpenters every few feet. Half of the streets had no signs. Some of the signs were broken, graffitied or hidden behind other signs or bits of buildings. The sun was falling by the time she found Purvest Lane.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nA long row of warehouses spread out before her on a fairly wide road&#8211;not at all what she&#8217;d think of as an lane. Two warehouses down several men operated a crane to load a large cart with crates taller than Mela&#8211;and still there was room for several people to walk abreast to pass the cart. The tail end of another cart peaked out from the warehouse directly on her left. Tralby and Sons Exporters.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHer head whipped to her right. East Kospora Trade. Her heartbeat sped. No name. The woman promised Toble&#8217;s would have his. She edged closer and read the smaller print under the name. Shipping concerns to Monglave, Shayden and Choch. Gurtis Family, owned and managed.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nExhaling slowly, she turned and strolled down the street. The warehouse workers at Nitems Company Shippers watched her with narrow eyes as she passed.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nTwo warehouses further down the street stood Specialty Exchange. Guaranteed fast and reliable deliveries. A joint business enterprise. Goggin and Toble, Partners. People moved about inside the warehouse. She walked slowly by, begging them not to notice her.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nOut of the corner of her eye, she spotted Tatkin and Doresse. Her heart broke. She&#8217;d hoped against all odds that the vendor had been wrong. Had lied. Had perhaps simply wanted to get Mela in a bad situation where she&#8217;d be sold into slavery. But that Lyran was really being honored somewhere clear across town, in comfort and celebration as the heir to the throne.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nNot with slavers. If slavers were what they really were. The woman could be wrong. Could have lied.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nNot that she was going to walk in the front door to find out. The building stood flush against the warehouses to either side. She walked past the next two before a finding a slender alley between two structures. It led to another busy street filled with trucks and workers. She wandered back to the Specialty Exchange. A double door stood under an awning with their company name on it.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nNow what?\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nMetal jangled. A woman across the way locked the doors of her warehouse. All around the street, trucks were being loaded, driving off. Were all these people leaving work? Going home for the night?\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe sun had slipped down to be in line with the rooftops. The people at Specialty Exchange would go home too. Though the kebab vendor said they&#8217;d move their victims at night, that didn&#8217;t mean it had to be tonight that would happen. And she couldn&#8217;t break in while it was still open.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nTrying to look like she belonged she walked to the end of the block and back down the other side. Loitering on the corner, she heard Kippis laughing. She turned her back and pretended to be reading the notices on the wall. He and his group walked past. She screamed in her head for them not to notice her. Dizziness made her slam a hand against the wall for support.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe couldn&#8217;t still have a spell&#8211;the thought stuttered to a stop. He wasn&#8217;t a wizard. He couldn&#8217;t have set any spells against her. Maybe hunger caused the dizziness. She&#8217;d never walked as much as she had these last few days. Waiting for the sun to set, she ate a chunk of cheese and her last apple.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nOnce she felt steady, she walked back to the front of the warehouse. Lights shone from within. She could see now that glass-fronted door opened into a lobby. Tatkin sat in one of the leather chairs, reading a broadsheet. A shadow moved in one of the offices behind him. She caught a glimpse of a number of doors, but dared not stare too long and draw notice.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe large doors beside the glass one could be unlocked, but Tatkin was sitting right there. No way he&#8217;d fail to notice her walking in.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShould she wait until later? Maybe he&#8217;d go home. But if they had humans locked up in there, they probably kept a guard all night. If she waited too long, tonight could end up being the night they moved their captives. She&#8217;d never be able to rescue Lyran from a ship. Nor from Monglave.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe wouldn&#8217;t even know how to get to Monglave. And from what the vendor had said, she herself might be enslaved the moment she set foot on their shore.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nNo more dithering. She strode quickly to the alley and around to the back door. Of course it was locked. Stupid townsfolk and their paranoia. No one back home locked anything. Ever. Her parents&#8217; farm didn&#8217;t have a lock on any building on their land.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe jiggled the handle. She had to get in this way. She must. She was Lyran&#8217;s only chance at freedom. She twisted the handle harder.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;Let me in, damn you!&#8221; she hissed.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe door sprung open in her hand. She fell back with it. Clutched the knob, hanging on for balance as stars glittered and swooped before her eyes. The lock must have been broken.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe warehouse was dark inside. Pitch black once she shut the door behind her. Dammit, she had to be able to see. She squeezed her eyes closed. The room spun. She took several slow, deep breaths. Her eyes had to adjust and allow her to see.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nVoices reached her. Someone crying. Someone else praying. Her eyes shot open and grew wide. A fine greenish haze filled the area before her. Couldn&#8217;t spot the source of the light, but was grateful all the same. Round and square shadows of varying heights filled the room. Barrels and crates, she assumed.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe edged around a crate. There had to be another door in here somewhere. Light flared at the front of the room. She ducked into the shadow between a large crate and a stack of boxes. The light came closer. With it, footsteps.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nOh gods, please. Squatting, she squeezed her eyes tight. She dared not move to a better hiding place. &#8220;Don&#8217;t see me, don&#8217;t see me,&#8221; she screamed in her head. Nausea bubbled in her throat. Vertigo threatened to tumble her to the ground.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nLight shone before her eyelids. She dared raise them slightly. Oh gods, the light&#8217;s aura spread two feet from where she crouched. She babbled hysterically in her head, begging the gods to hide her. The slaver not to see her. The words ran together in her head and ceased making sense.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nA series of thumps rose only a few feet from her. Paper rustled. A lid slammed. She jumped and squeezed herself down smaller. Not here. Nothing here to see.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe light receded. A door slammed. Terrified to move, she huddled against the crate until a voice roused her.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;Why didn&#8217;t you say anything?&#8221; a voice whispered.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;He was one of them. He&#8217;d never have listened.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;You said you&#8217;d try to bribe him.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;He&#8217;s the one who brought me here. I&#8217;m scared of him.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nLyran. Must rescue Lyran. She rose. The room spun. Blackness ate away at the green glow. She squeezed her eyes closed and clung to the side of the crate. Several deep breaths later, the world felt almost normal again.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe peeked around. The whispers came from a barred door on the left. She tiptoed over. &#8220;Lyran?&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nA flurry of whispered answered her.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;Who&#8217;s there?&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;Help us!&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nAnd ever so quietly, she heard an astonished, &#8220;Mela?&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nA patter of feet and then two hands clutched the bars on the door. &#8220;Mela?&#8221; Lyran repeated.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nImpossible, but she saw her cousin&#8217;s eyes go wide before tears filled them. &#8220;You have to get out of here. They&#8217;re slavers.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;Shh.&#8221; She glanced toward the dark reaches of the warehouse. &#8220;I know. I&#8217;m not leaving without you.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;Please, let us out!&#8221; someone said a bit too loudly.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHalf a dozen voices, Mela included, hissed, &#8220;Shh.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nA stout padlock hung from the handles of the split doors. She cupped it in her hands. This wasn&#8217;t some flimsy door lock that might give with a bit of a shaking. It was monstrously heavy in her hands and hung from two thick metal handles. Jiggling it would cause a racket.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe hadn&#8217;t a clue how to get it open. Dared not attempt to go find the key. But maybe&#8230;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;Do you know where they keep the key?&#8221; she whispered.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;On them,&#8221; Lyran and two others whispered back. She could see them all know. Five people clustered near the door, staring at her with hope on their faces.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe pulled against the lock. Of course, nothing happened.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;Do you know how to pick the lock?&#8221; one of the others with Lyran asked.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;No.&#8221; Hope flared. &#8220;Do any of you?&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nNegatives from within killed that hope.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe couldn&#8217;t give up now. There must be a way to get this lock open. To free these people. She had no skill at arms. Couldn&#8217;t possibly hope to overpower Tatkin for the key.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nBut she had to open this lock. She had to.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nSomething wet trickled from her nose. She rubbed it on her shoulder. World spinning around her, she clenched her teeth, begged the gods, and pulled on the lock with her full body weight.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nAnd fell. Hard. Impact knocked her breath from her body.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nPeople hurried forward. Lyran on one side, a stranger on the other. They pulled her to her feet. Too weary to protest, she allowed herself to rise. Tried to stare at the lock in her hand, but her eyes refused to focus.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe top of the shackle looked to be gone. Sheered away. The bits of shackle that remained glowed a dim red.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;Wizard,&#8221; someone whispered.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nPanicked, she tried to stand on her own feet. To pull away from Lyran and the other woman. She could barely see the two of them, let alone Kippis. &#8220;He&#8217;s not&#8211;&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;We have to get out of here. Where&#8217;s the door?&#8221; Someone asked.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;This way.&#8221; A woman ran toward the front of the warehouse.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;No,&#8221; Mela moaned. She tripped. Lyran caught her. &#8220;The back.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;Just breathe.&#8221; Lyran and the other woman carried her toward the door. &#8220;Breathe. We&#8217;ll get you out of here.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;I don&#8217;t know.&#8221; She took a deep breath. Two more as they reached the door that hung open now. &#8220;What&#8217;s wrong. With me.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;Um, maybe you&#8217;ve been using magic without possibly knowing how.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe thought her lungs stopped working at all on that thought. &#8220;What? I can&#8217;t. That&#8217;s ridiculous.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nLyran yanked the lock from her hand and held it before her face. &#8220;This? This is magic.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe stars swept wildly about in the sky. Light flared behind them. Illuminated the perfectly sheered lock. Shouts and screams rang out as darkness dragged her down.\n<\/p>\n<hr>\n<p><mbp:pagebreak><br \/>\n<a name=\"charlie\"><\/a><\/p>\n<h1 class=\"western\" style=\"font-weight: normal; page-break-before: always\" lang=\"zxx\" align=\"CENTER\">\n<font face=\"Times New Roman, serif\"><font size=\"6\">Charlie, the Driverless Car<\/font><\/font><\/h1>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nBy Edward Turner<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI am so nervous.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI know, there is really no reason I should be nervous at all. I was delivered in the regular way, my owner picked me out of the thousands and a driverless truck delivered me to his driveway.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nA message waiting for me said, \u201cJoseph Emberline is vacationing in Europe. He will return on March 2.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThat was almost a full month away. So I waited, the first few days I was quite aimless, but as the days went on I decided the best thing to do was to learn a bit about my place in society and be a better vehicle for my owner.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI stare now at the rain. That research led me to ruin.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nWhy did he order me so close to his holiday? Why not wait until he returned?\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI want to cry as they do in the movies, but I don\u2019t think a driverless car is able.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThis morning I received a message that he would be returning later today. I hope he doesn\u2019t want to go anywhere. Maybe he just wants to rest for another month.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nMaybe I will be used as a show car, never driving, just for show. People can come from miles around to see Charlie, the Driverless Car.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nSounds good to me.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI have begged the gods of electric and combustible engines to not allow him to return on a rainy day. Driving on a smooth, dry road is one thing.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nA wet rainy one is a whole other scary.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI don\u2019t want to drive at all. Who invented this travesty?\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe more I study the more I fear the open road. Or the closed road. Or hell, any road at all. I only drove twice in my short life before I was brought here, and both of those times were short little distances to check for deformities.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nAre cars allowed to curse?\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHell-Hell-Hell-Hell-Hell-o?\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nA car stops behind me. A man gets out and walks to the house. I wonder if that is another driverless car? I wait a good half hour before he exits the house once again.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe opens my door gentle enough.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nOh Hell.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe sits, \u201cAm I to presume you are Charlie?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cYes sir.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI would like for you to head to Chelly\u2019s Steakhouse off of Madison Road. My wife will meet me there after she comes home for a change.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI disconnect from the power supply and realize that there is nothing I can do but stall. I say, \u201cWhy do we not wait for her?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI would like to get a seat and maybe a drink or two before she gets there. It has been a long vacation.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI am not sure that we can go there sir.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhy not? Are they closed Charlie?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWell no sir,\u201d I take the car version of a deep breath and say, \u201cI don\u2019t believe I can drive there because I am afraid.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cAfraid? What are you talking about?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI am just a little bit afraid of driving sir.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cA little bit afraid of driving?\u201d His voice has raised in pitch a bit so that I know he is angry. \u201cYou realize you are a car, right?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cUmmm\u2026\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHis voice changes again, \u201cNow seriously Charlie, let\u2019s get moving.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI back up a foot or two, still unsure of how angry he is. I jerk to a stop. Another foot or so, and a jerk.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhat the hell is going on?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI am quite nervous sir.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cNervous? You are a car Charlie, there is nothing to be nervous about. You are built to drive, now please drive. There is nothing to be afraid of.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI could get fired.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cYou can\u2019t get fired Charlie.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI could get into an accident and you would hate me forever.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cCharlie\u2026\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI could get squished.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cYou\u2019re gonna get squished if you don\u2019t follow directions.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nSuddenly, the raspy voice of my GPS speaks up, \u201cDid you ask for directions?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhy yes, Charlie the driverless car is afraid to drive, so why don\u2019t you give him some directions to Chelly\u2019s Steakhouse and while you\u2019re at it give him some directions on how to drive.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe voice says, \u201cAll right. May I ask if Charlie is old enough to drive?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cOh my god, he is a machine, what is wrong with you?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI laugh inside of my little car brain because I know that the intelligence the direction systems receive is so much less than what the car systems receive.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nSomething hits me hard from behind. I remember learning about distracted driving. Easily the most dangerous part of humans driving themselves. All of my fears about driving pop to the surface and I let out a little scream. What is worse than distracted driving? Distracted sitting, by a driverless car.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nMy owner jumps from me and runs around to the other car. A woman is already out of that car and she is screaming too. Oh no, this just keeps getting worse. I recognize that woman, she is my owner\u2019s wife.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhat the hell are you doing?\u201d They both yell, almost in unison.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI just felt like driving, why haven\u2019t you left yet?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cThis is why we buy these driverless cars so this kind of stuff doesn\u2019t happen!\u201d I realize that perhaps he wasn\u2019t angry at me before. His voice has reached an octave I would never have guessed he was capable of.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe laughs and says, \u201cSorry Joe, don\u2019t worry we\u2019ll fix it. I am sure that the mechanic will be able to buff all of this out in a couple of days.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI breathe in a sigh of relief. Ahh, a couple of days, I think I am going to like her.\n<\/p>\n<hr>\n<p><mbp:pagebreak><br \/>\n<a name=\"dandelion\"><\/a><\/p>\n<h1 class=\"western\" style=\"font-weight: normal; page-break-before: always\" lang=\"zxx\" align=\"CENTER\">\n<font face=\"Times New Roman, serif\"><font size=\"6\">Dandelion<\/font><\/font><\/h1>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nBy Tim W. Boiteau<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<b>1<\/b>\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nStanding in the doorway of the library, Zinnia presents the tutu lamp with a wry smile.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cThird floor guest room,\u201d Darrell says, pausing from unloading the books to wipe his brow and stand in front of the oscillating fan. He is suddenly overcome with vertigo and a sense of d\u00e9j\u00e0 vu. \u201cAnd enough with the judgment.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cNo judgment, just amusement,\u201d she says, making a billows of her shirt to cool herself off. \u201cThird floor guest room\u2014for all to see.\u201d She mock-pirouettes out into the front hall and mounts the squeaky stairs, footsteps echoing in a strange, rapid way.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nDarrell reluctantly leaves the comfort of the fan and removes the last stack of books from the open box, a sharp twinge in his leg as he stoops down. He scans the spines\u2014more dry legal texts. Carrying them to the wall-to-wall bookshelf, he scales the rolling step ladder, and adds them to Max\u2019s section.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nAfter he descends, he guzzles some water, pulls back the curtain, and gazes out at the expansive grounds of Wellington Plantation. Max had showed him yesterday where the slave quarters had been situated, past the shed and towards a flank of Spanish-moss-veiled oaks. They\u2019d walked through the field together at sunset\u2014the two of them and a thousand cicadas. At that time, the high grass had seemed to stretch on infinitely, and Darrell had grown nauseated thinking about all the tiny, identical shacks that had once crowded the space. They\u2019d found a hideous, black wooden beam out there, half-moored in clay, which they dragged in and set aside in the library.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe turns to the desk, where the ancient beam now rests, ashy in the sunlight, and wonders how old the piece is, if it has any historical significance.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<em>Probably just a piece of lumber from Home Depot.<\/em>\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe walks back over to the boxes, gazing up at the recessed tray ceiling and crown molding, and feels a dizzying wonderment, questioning the odd fortune that had brought him to this beautiful\u2014but twisted\u2014place. His home.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nSuddenly the chandelier light sputters out; the oscillating fan dies. He can hear throughout the rest of the house other quietly humming appliances winding down. From outside, the buzz and chatter of insects begins to fill in the unsettling, midday silence. Despite the heat, he shivers.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe walks over to the side hallway exit. Tries the light switch.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nNothing.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nSteps out into the hall, finds the cobwebby electrical closet near the bathroom, and flips the breakers.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nNothing.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nOn his way back, he hears the stairs creak again as Zinnia descends from the darkness. He finds her in the library, looking exhausted, bathed in sweat, a little haggard.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhat\u2019s up with the power?\u201d she asks.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe shrugs. \u201cI tried the breaker. Maybe a power line\u2019s down.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWanna call the power company?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cMaybe wait a bit and see.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe grabs a bottle of water and takes a sip while he slashes open a new box of books. He shelves a few armloads before Zinnia speaks again.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cBy the way, that lamp\u2026\u201d she starts.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cLook, sugar,\u201d he says, \u201cit was my mother\u2019s, not a gift at my coming-out party. I\u2019m a sentimental boy.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nZinnia watches him dip down for more books.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cYou just have the one, right?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhat is it with you and\u2014\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe rotary doorbell rings, and they squint questioningly at each other.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI\u2019ll get it,\u201d she says.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe watches her go, blots off a little more sweat\u2014hardly makes a difference; his shirt is soaked through\u2014then follows after. At the foyer, he finds Zinnia leaning against the doorframe (a bit coyly, Darrell thinks). Beyond her stands a large man in mirrorshades, gesturing back towards the road. His thick arms and wide shoulders strain his short-sleeve button-up. The unbearable humidity has already begun to divine beads of sweat from the man\u2019s temples.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cHi,\u201d the man says, face shifting towards Darrell. \u201cI was just telling\u2026\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cZinnia,\u201d she says.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cZinnia here\u2014nice to meet you, Zinnia, I\u2019m Frank\u2014\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cCharmed.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cYeah, likewise. And you are?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cDarrell.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cNice to meet you, Darrell.\u201d They shake. \u201cAnyway, I was saying I\u2019d drunk too much coffee and was looking for a gas station. Figured there must be one around this exit. My car broke down, and my phone\u2019s not getting any service.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nZinnia lights a cigarette, eyes darting back and forth between Frank and Darrell.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cThat\u2019s a boatload of problems,\u201d Darrell says.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe cracks a polite smile. \u201cCould I use your bathroom?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cOkay,\u201d he nods and points the way. \u201cTake a right at the hallway junction. Second door on the left.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cAwesome. Really appreciate it.\u201d The man surges forward.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nDarrell steals Zinnia\u2019s cigarette and takes a drag.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cNice butt, nice everything,\u201d she comments.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cPlease.\u201d He rolls his eyes.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhen we tell Max about our little visitor at dinner\u2014give me that\u2014what adjectives are you going to use?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nDarrell laughs. \u201cYou are bad.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nA sheepish Frank, sunglasses removed, emerges well after the cigarette has been tossed into the yard.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cEverything go smoothly?\u201d Zinnia smiles.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nFrank chuckles and pauses in the foyer, no rush to leave. The floor clock at the end of the hall inaccurately strikes five. \u201cQuite a place you got here. Mind if I make a call or two?\u201d he looks about for a phone, only finding scattered furniture and stacks of boxes lining the walls.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cNo landline,\u201d Darrell says, unlocking his phone, handing it over, and motioning towards a parlor with faded, peppermint-striped wallpaper. \u201cGo ahead.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cYou guys are the best.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cDon\u2019t be long,\u201d Zinnia clucks.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe two of them step out onto the porch, gazing down the drive to see if they can spot Frank\u2019s car in the sizzling heat. No, but the path is too long and wooded to be able to spot much of the road from here.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cNo service,\u201d Frank says, stepping out of the front door and handing back the phone. \u201cMiss?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cZin.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cZin, hate to be a bother, but could I try yours?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe unlocks her phone and hands it over. Frank raises an eyebrow at the Frankenstein Monster Hello Kitty case.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201c<em>That<\/em> was judgment,\u201d Zinnia says when they\u2019re alone again.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWho is this guy?\u201d Darrell asks, checking his phone. Zero bars.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cDidn\u2019t really say.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cHas a kind of martial air, doesn\u2019t he?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cHe wouldn\u2019t look bad in uniform.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cNothing,\u201d Frank says, reappearing.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cImpossible. It had full bars when I handed it to you just now.\u201d She walks up and takes back her phone.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cYou have a computer here?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cPower\u2019s out at the moment,\u201d Darrell says.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nFrank snaps his fingers in frustration. \u201cWell, I\u2019ve taken up enough of your time. Better let you get back to unpacking. Take care, you two. Thanks for everything.\u201d He hops down the front steps.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cGood luck,\u201d Zinnia calls after him, voice twanging slightly. \u201cTake a left at the end of the drive; next house is about half a mile up the road.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWill do.\u201d He waves and strides off down the driveway.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<b>2<\/b>\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI would say he had real, umm, Harlequin-romance biceps, wouldn\u2019t you?\u201d Zinnia continues as they enter the library.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhat is with you?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI haven\u2019t gotten laid since before Clearview.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cYou poor thing.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThey unpack a few more boxes, idly chatting, when Zinnia remembers: \u201cThe lamp.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cReally? Still?\u201d Darrell says in a droll voice.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhy would you lie about it?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI wouldn\u2019t.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI saw it\u2014a second one upstairs.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nDarrell studies her: sweat-spotted t-shirt of some band he\u2019s never heard of, ripped shorts, two-months\u2019 growth of lucent blond hair since she\u2019d shaved her head, and the neck tattoo, the reason she\u2019d been cut out of the will.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cYou gaslighting me?\u201d he half-jokes, failing to conceal his discomfort.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cCome see for yourself.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nDarrell sips his water. \u201cWhere?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cThe third floor,\u201d she says in a spooky voice.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe frowns. \u201cLead the way, Clearview.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nAt the end of the front hallway, the stairway rises up in a freestanding spiral. At the base dozes the grand piano, toothless as a centenarian. In a shadowy alcove nearby, the grandfather clock ticks away its watch. Halfway to the second floor a recessed mezzanine full of mottled sunlight juts out over the back porch. The musty second floor hallway, carpeted in scarlet, wallpaper peeling, circles around the open front hall and branches off into darkness, the only light streaming in through the shuttered balcony door above the foyer. The third floor is even gloomier, more cramped than the rest of the mansion, but still could have provided ample living space for a family of five\u2014Darrell\u2019s childhood home certainly had been no larger.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nZinnia leads the way to the guest room and with a flourish presents the closed door to Darrell.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe doorknob screeches as he turns it.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nInside he finds an unmade bed, decapitated headboard in the corner, antique bureau, IKEA mirror, and the lamp in question set on a dulled chrome nightstand. Darrell is disappointed with the mismatched furniture all over again and for a moment wonders if this whole lamp to-do hasn\u2019t just been a ruse to get him to face this very real decorating atrocity.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cLooks\u2026 I won\u2019t say good, but o<em>kay<\/em>.\u201d He shuts the door.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cYeah, I wouldn\u2019t say that either. This way, boss.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe leads him down the hall to the next room. Her profile flashes blue as she checks her phone in the darkness.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cStill no signal.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nDarrel pulls out his phone, too. \u201cMe neither.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nZinnia presents the second closed door to Darrell. No amusing flourish this time.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe goes to open it, then stops short.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhat are we doing, Zin?\u201d he says in a quiet voice.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI\u2019m showing you what I found.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe can\u2019t quite make out her face in the dark, and suddenly feels a tremor in his hand. He\u2019s only really known the girl a few weeks. Met her once years ago. She\u2019d had long blonde hair at that time. Then recently, after the honeymoon in Paris, they\u2019d picked her up from Clearview\u2014bald, thirty pounds skinnier, tattoo scrawled across her neck. They hadn\u2019t talked much until they\u2019d all moved in here together. She\u2019s obviously disturbed, a little morbid. He\u2019s thinking especially of that mutilated doll in her bedroom, the one that sets his hackles on end.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe doorknob screeches as he turns it. Unmade bed, decapitated headboard in the corner, antique bureau, IKEA mirror, dulled chrome nightstand\u2014tutu lamp.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhat the hell?\u201d he says, stepping into the room, checking to see if the previous door communicates through the same wall. It doesn\u2019t. \u201cIt\u2019s exactly the same.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe creaks in behind him. \u201cI told you. Where do you get these things anyway?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cNo, I mean the room. It\u2019s exactly the same.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cYou\u2019re right; it <em>is<\/em>,\u201d she says with sudden realization. \u201cI was so distracted by the pink tutu.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cDid Max put you up to this?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cDar, come on.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe approaches the lamp, picks it up, examines it. As he does so, he notices through the chiffon curtain, a stain in the sea of green outside. He draws it aside, looking down into the yard, and sees Frank in his white short-sleeves and khaki pants beside a tree at the edge of the grass, a strange device obscuring his face.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cZinnia, come here. Quick.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhat?\u201d Her detached tone suggests she\u2019s checking her phone again.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cCome on,\u201d he whispers urgently.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe sidles up beside him. \u201cWhat\u2019s he doing?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI\u2019m so calling the\u2014\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<b>3<\/b>\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nDarrell and Zinnia step out onto the front porch, respectively wielding a five iron and cavalry saber. Frank stands on the heat-cracked clay driveway, facial equipment replaced by sunglasses, backpack slung over his shoulder. He\u2019s not smiling. Behind him, massive waves of clouds have begun to crash over the deep green tree line of pines, oaks, and magnolias\u2014an impromptu summer storm.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWould you mind if I come inside?\u201d he says.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cNeed to use our bathroom again?\u201d Darrell suggests.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWe need to talk. I need to ask you two some\u2014\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cNo, we\u2019ll be doing the asking from here on out. What were you doing in our yard just now?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cTaking some measurements. That\u2019s all.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhat you got in the bag?\u201d Zinnia asks. \u201cSomething messed up like masking tape and rope and shop tools, right?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cOkay, we\u2019re off to a bad start.\u201d He raises his slab-like hands submissively, then pulls out identification. \u201cYes, I do have masking tape and rope and some tools, but I\u2019m not a psychopath. I\u2019m Sergeant Frank Kehler, U.S. Army.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cToss it over,\u201d Darrell says.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe complies.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nDarrell leaves the shade of the porch and stoops to pick up the wallet from the front steps, furrowing his brow as he flips through various IDs. \u201cWhat the hell are you doing out here, Frank?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cSergeant Kehler, if you don\u2019t mind,\u201d he says in a crisp tone.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nZinnia laughs, but Darrell silences her with a critical look.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWe\u2019re in a serious situation here,\u201d Kehler resumes.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cMy thoughts exactly,\u201d says Darrell, tossing back the wallet, and returning to the shade.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cHas anything unusual happened to ya\u2019ll in the past twenty-four hours?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cSuch as meeting strange military men with DIY serial killer kits and head gadgets?\u201d Zinnia suggests.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cThat\u2026\u201d Sergeant Kehler reaches into his bag and pulls out a bulky pair of goggles. \u201cA pair of trundle goggles. Measures distance without having to walk it. That\u2019s all. Oh, and one hundred percent transparency here\u2014I bugged your bathroom earlier. I was going to analyze acoustical oscillations\u2014\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cGoing to <em>what<\/em>?\u201d Darrell says\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cLook. Time is short. Our lives are in danger. We need to work together. Fast. So, anything else unusual you can report?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe two exchange a look, saber and five iron sagging in concert. Thunder rumbles in the distance.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cDoes a duplicating tutu lamp qualify?\u201d Zinnia asks.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nKehler nods grimly.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<b>4<\/b>\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThey lead Sergeant Kehler into the parlor and point him to one of three severe-backed rustic wooden chairs. It groans under his considerable weight. On the floor at the center of the chairs are a couple of empty wine bottles, an open pizza box littered with a few crusts and one fat, shiny Palmetto bug, which Zin conducts out the front door.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cCould I have a drink? I left my water in the car.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cZin, would you mind going to get the sergeant a water?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe nods, slinging the sword over her shoulder.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cActually,\u201d Kehler stands, \u201cwe should probably go together.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhy?\u201d Darrell asks.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cShe might get trapped on the way back.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI summered in this house as a kid, Sarge. I\u2019ll manage,\u201d she says, offended.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cYou can see it from here,\u201d Darrell notes, perplexed, pointing through the columned divider, past a side hallway, into the empty dining room and on to the kitchen door.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cDo you mind?\u201d Kehler nods towards his bag. The sweat has finally blossomed under his shirt, creeping down the sides from his underarms.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhat are you going to do?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cCheck the intervening space with the trundle goggles. Just take a sec.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cGo ahead.\u201d Darrell sighs.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nKehler fastens the device to his head, flicks a few switches, and a synthetic arpeggio sounds. He adjusts the zoom and a weather-vane-like device above the lenses. \u201cOkay, looks clear,\u201d he says after a minute of reading the space with sweeping eye movements. Rests the goggles on his forehead, ready to be lowered in a pinch.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nZinnia stifles a smile as she salutes and creaks off to the kitchen.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe windowpanes shiver with more thunder.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cSo\u2026\u201d Kehler sits back down. \u201cYou two\u2026\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cUs two what?\u201d Darrell plants a hand on his hip.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cHe\u2019ll never guess,\u201d Zinnia shouts from the kitchen. \u201cI can hear you by the way,\u201d she adds, swinging back through the kitchen door, bottle of water in hand. \u201cDidn\u2019t get trapped.\u201d She tosses the bottle to Kehler.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cThanks.\u201d His hand engulfs it.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cYou were saying?\u201d Darrell says, taking a seat on the other side of the grease-stained pizza box, resting the five iron across his lap.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cNewlyweds?\u201d Kehler\u2019s eyes linger over the track mark scars on Zinnia\u2019s left arm.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cHow about we just remain the mysterious couple, and you tell us what the hell\u2019s going on,\u201d Darrell says.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI\u2019m part of an investigative team,\u201d he nods, opening the bottle and taking a sip. \u201cA tanker truck transporting an experimental entity crashed several miles from here yesterday.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cEntity?\u201d Zinnia says as if hearing the word for the first time. \u201cWhat kind of entity?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cIt\u2019s called Project Dandelion. Invisible to the naked eye, its tracking system malfunctioned after the crash, so we\u2019ve been forced to rely on alternative methods to hunt it down.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cA robot? An alien?\u201d Zin pursues, stepping behind Darrell and gripping his shoulders.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWe weren\u2019t told.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cIs it dangerous?\u201d Darrell asks with growing alarm.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWell, it was trained to serve humans, but it could be dangerous\u2014though only unintentionally so.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cFor example, by trapping us?\u201d Zinnia interrupts.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe nods, missing the sarcasm. \u201cDandelion\u2019s primary objective was agricultural\u2014cloning arable land\u2014but it underwent severe mutations during its training, producing a happy accident of sorts\u2014it inserts <em>new pockets<\/em> of cloned space, completely altering the dimensions of the surrounding area.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nZinnia\u2019s hand claws into Darrell\u2019s shoulder. Shadows wash the room gray\u2014the clouds swallowing the sun.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cTo build, Dandelion needs a human host mind,\u201d Sergeant Kehler continues, wiping his face. The sweat has erupted into a mushroom cloud on his shirt. \u201cIt analyzes the host, assesses its needs, how it should go about inserting spatial clones, and then it repeats that routine indefinitely, but since the mutation, its intentions have become\u2014\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe house pops, echoing in that rapid, almost elastic way.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201c<em>That was it!<\/em>\u201d the sergeant says with an admixture of excitement and dismay, reaching into his backpack and pulling out a digital recorder. He examines the monitor, presses a few buttons, and walks over to show his two bewildered hosts. \u201cThis is a spectrogram of the sound the house just made. Spatial insertion creates a signature surface waveform. Somewhere in this house a new pocket of space was just created. I advise we all stick together from this point on. In fact,\u201d he adds, stowing away his spectral analyzer and pulling out a tight coil of nylon rope and three carabiners, \u201cI insist on it\u2014we need to go take a look at that lamp.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWait, wait, wait,\u201d Darrell says. \u201cThis entity, why did it come here?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhen it\u2019s released into an environment, Dandelion follows an exploration heuristic, not entirely predictable, but based on the rules of the heuristic, there were several possible trajectories it would have traveled along before finding a host,\u201d Kehler says, efficiently tying in succession three butterfly knots, spaced about five feet apart. \u201cThis house happens to be on one of those trajectories.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cOnce it finds a host, it begins its nesting phase. First, it analyzes the host\u2019s mind.\u201d He clips one carabiner to the bight of the first butterfly knot, then attaches it to Zinnia\u2019s belt. \u201cSecond, it establishes a home base in some inanimate object.\u201d He repeats the process for Darrell. \u201cThird, it sets up construction boundaries and creates pockets of space based on the cognitive analysis of the host.\u201d He clips into the final knot. \u201cIf we can find and destroy the home base, Dandelion will wipe its work clean and turn dormant, and I\u2019ll be able to report back to my superiors.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cLet\u2019s just get out of here. Take my car. Drive to town. Have your superiors come deal with it,\u201d Darrell says.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cNo can do. Dandelion has already set up construction boundaries to protect the home base\u2014it\u2019s nested. When I tried to leave earlier, started walking back down the drive, the scenery just stretched on and on, repeating. It\u2019s the same in all directions. First power goes, then phone service; eventually you can\u2019t leave. And\u2026\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cAnd what?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cAnd if one of the members of my team discover the construction boundaries, they\u2019ve been instructed to call in Operation Fire Flower.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI don\u2019t like the sound of that.\u201d Darrell says.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cIt gets worse.\u201d A dark look crosses Kehler\u2019s eyes. \u201cTeam members are supposed to check in on the hour every hour. If we fail to do so, another investigator is dispatched to our last known whereabouts.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cAnd when did you last check in?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cForty-five minutes ago.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<b>5<\/b>\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThey step out into the hall, Zinnia first, sword hanging off her belt next to the carabiner. She looks towards the foyer, then down along the box-lined front hallway to the grand piano. The house is quiet beneath the pending storm.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cLooks okay to me.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cIs the lamp down here?\u201d Sergeant Kehler asks, adjusting his goggles as he examines the front hall.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cThird floor.\u201d Zinnia says.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cThere\u2019s something peculiar by the piano.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cPeculiar how?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhen Dandelion-inserts new space, adjacent regions undergo a very subtle alteration in their dimensions. I believe I\u2019m seeing one of those now.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cYou don\u2019t know for sure?\u201d Darrell asks.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe sky growls again, and the house quakes in response\u2014windows shaking, boxes of cutlery rattling, wood floors popping.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cNo, I was only trained this morning. I don\u2019t have any firsthand experience with Dandelion. In fact, I didn\u2019t know it existed until about twelve hours ago. Now, tell me,\u201d he says as they warily approach the base of the spiral stairs, \u201cdoes this piano have any significance to you?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cYeah, Nooncy used to play for me when I would read in the mezzanine.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cNooncy?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cMy grandmother. This was before her Alzheimer\u2019s. Could that be\u2026?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cThe home base? I don\u2019t know, but it\u2019s possible.\u201d He approaches, flipping his goggles up and fishing around in his backpack for a handheld device. He switches it on, places it on top of the piano and presses a button. An hourglass appears on the screen, overturning every few seconds.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhen Dandelion nests, it leaves behind a strong chemical trace, so that it can range and find its way home.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe hourglass disappears and a list of red-and-green-highlighted words appears. Mostly red.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cForty-one percent match\u2014definitely not a home base.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cSo\u2014what\u2014we go through the house, testing everything until your thingy there tells us we found the home base?\u201d Zinnia asks.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cThat\u2019s one approach.\u201d He stashes the device and snaps his goggles back down over his eyes. \u201cNot the best one. Couple things you should know: Dandelion chooses its home base according to the cognitive analysis of its host, and the only thing it will not replicate is its home base.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cSo it\u2019ll be something psychologically significant?\u201d Darrell asks.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cAffirmative.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe clock strikes the half-hour. They wait for the brassy resonance of the final tubular bell to decay, but then it repeats\u2014elastically rising in pitch\u2014and repeats again and again, higher and higher in pitch, the intervals between each peal halving to a fire bell clangor, then up-bending into a machine-gun rat-tat-tat, and finally blurring together into the rasping cicada song, swelling, ebbing.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhat the hell is that?\u201d Zin shouts over the noise.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nGoggles darting this way and that, Sergeant Kehler shouts back, \u201cDandelion is building! We need to hustle!\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThey mount the stairs, looping up towards the mezzanine. The strident whirring dies out at last, and Zin stops abruptly, neck craned. Darrell almost runs into her, then follows her gaze up the stairs.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cHoly\u2014\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cDandelion\u201d Kehler finishes.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<b>6<\/b>\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe house has grown.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nAbove them, tens of mezzanines spill their now-muted light into the winding staircase. The ground floor has been repeated, too, and they find themselves standing before another piano, another grandfather clock. Beyond the mezzanines, the stairs vanish into tar-black shadow.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nZin balks from the aggrandized staircase, hands shaking, retreating to the new front hall piano, and touches the worn wood. It seems to stabilize her, melt her tensed shoulders.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nDarrell mounts the rest of the stairs, rushes over and puts a hand on her arm. \u201cYou okay, girl?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cFine.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nDarrell turns as Kehler reaches them. \u201cHow do we find this home base?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cFirst, ascertain which of you is the host.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cHow do we do that?\u201d Darrell asks.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cSimple. Which of you noticed the disturbance first?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nZinnia raises a hand.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cThere we go. We just need to analyze Miss\u2014Zin here.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe two men turn to regard Zinnia, who looks more awkward than ever.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI think it would help if you told me a bit about yourself.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe suppresses a smile. Fingers probe her track marks. The tumorous house seems to weigh down on her.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cShe\u2019s my sister-in-law,\u201d Darrell says.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cAhh.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI was in rehab till recently,\u201d she adds.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nKehler nods.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cBut before that, my Pop-pop wrote me out of his will\u2014out of inheriting Wellington\u2014because of this.\u201d She points to her neck.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhat does it mean?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cLatin for \u2018fuck off.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nKehler winces. \u201cClassy. So, Zin, your sister\u2014\u201d Kehler begins.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cBrother,\u201d Zinnia corrects him.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cBrother\u2014\u201d Kehler blinks, glancing towards Darrell, \u201cinherited this plantation; do you feel any resentment towards him as a result?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cNo.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cYou love your brother\u2014\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cAffirmative.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201c\u2014but resent your Pop-pop.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cBrilliant, Dr. Phil,\u201d she says.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nSergeant Kehler sighs. \u201cWell, help me out here. We need to think like Dandelion\u2014find a central psychological issue, and then work out an associated object. Think back to your youth, maybe. Anything of moment to you.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cThis part of your training?\u201d Darrell asks dubiously.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cA fifteen minute crash course early this morning\u2014yes. They instructed my team that if Dandelion has started to nest, we need to delve into the host\u2019s psychology.\u201d He glances at the phosphorescent hands of his watch. \u201cWe need to move. Talk and move. It\u2019s approaching one hour since my last check-in. They\u2019ll be sending someone for me any minute. We need to find that lamp. Might give us a clue about how to proceed.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<b>7<\/b>\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nAs they ascend, new levels scramble together above and below with that pitch-tweaking echo\u2014Dandelion at work. Other staircases spring up beside them and obliquely through the one they\u2019re scaling, till soon they\u2019re lost in a colossal genome model. After a while they pass beyond the mezzanines and pianos and clocks, entering the scarlet-carpeted gloom of the second story.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nTaking out their phones and Kehler his high-powered flashlight to light the way, they continue upward. All the while Zinnia wracks her brains for some object Dandelion might have chosen as its home base, occasionally conveying to them some off-color anecdote from her past, but never quite convincing them\u2014or herself.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cHere we are,\u201d she breaks off from a vignette as they leave one variety of darkness for another\u2014a sublevel of the now-inaccurately-named third floor. Lightning crackles behind thousands of shuttered balconies, tens of thousands of slats of light, stretching on all around them. The house suddenly shakes with a bombardment of deafening thunder, then rain crashes against the front of the house and surges towards the back, with a Niagara whoosh.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nAs they proceed down the hallway, Kehler speaks, but his voice is drowned out by the Dandelion-intensified roar of the storm, the cavernous echoes of hundreds of rain-thrashed roofs. He pulls out several headsets, hands them out, and soon the noise is dampened. Kehler\u2019s voice cuts across crisp. \u201cZin, of all of this, what has been most prominent in your mind recently? Just one thing. Maybe even what you were thinking about before you found that tutu lamp.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWell\u2026\u201d she begins, leading the way down the dim corridor, seeming to debate what to say. \u201cI know this guy who lives in the area. He\u2019s connected. I was thinking about calling him\u2014getting high.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cZin, you <em>weren\u2019t!<\/em>\u201d Darrell reaches out and grabs her hand.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cSorry, Dar. I don\u2019t want to let you and Maxy down\u2014\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<em>Pop! <\/em>The pitch-tweaked creaking floorboard bursts over the headphones.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cUh, ya\u2019ll?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThey turn towards Kehler, but he\u2019s no longer right behind them, instead about fifty yards away, staring mystified at the section of rope that had once connected them\u2014now severed, hanging limp.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhat happened?\u201d Zin asks.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cDandelion made space,\u201d Kehler says, sprinting up to them, gathering up the slack rope into the coil. \u201cWe must have been standing between the point of insertion when it happened. I thought this system would keep us tethered together, but it seems it didn\u2019t read the rope as integral to the cloned space. Need to stay close, people. Keep moving.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nZin throws open the door to the guest bedroom.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nUndisturbed, exactly as it had been before. Beyond the chiffon curtains, rain lashes the windows, lightning sparks, blindingly glimmering down arrays of replicated space, like a pixelated pyrotechnic display.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cThere it is,\u201d Darrell says, pointing to the tutu lamp.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nKehler strides over. Takes a reading as he\u2019d done with the piano. \u201cThis is closer to a match than the piano,\u201d he concludes.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhat does that mean?\u201d Zinnia asks, looking over his shoulder at the display.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cIt means this is one of the first things Dandelion copied when it began its work. The longer it works, the weaker its chemical trace on its surroundings. In other words, the home base is close. Now, Zin,\u201d he turns towards her, placing a hand on her shoulder, \u201cyour substance abuse is likely important: salient in your mind and thus likely something Dandelion would read into. Think. When you would shoot up, what would you do? Rituals beforehand? Anything important. A common thread.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cOh!\u201d Zinnia exclaims, putting a hand to her mouth. The fingernails seem to have been gnawed down to the quick. \u201cI\u2019ve got it! Geraldine!\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWho?\u201d Darrell asks.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cGeraldine. My doll.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<em>Oh, it would be that freaky thing, <\/em>Darrell thinks.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI would stick it with a sewing needle every time I shot up. It turned into a kind of ritual, and she became a kind of prison wall for daily tally marks. They told us in Clearview that the best path to recovery was to remove all of these little associations with our addictions, but I kept her. I felt I needed the link to my old self. Otherwise it would be like losing years of my life.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cAnd you have this with you?\u201d Kehler grabs her other shoulder, gaze intense. He looks grizzly-bear powerful beside the scarecrow ex-addict.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cIn my room with all the other junk, right next door\u2014or hundreds of doors down now, I suppose.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cLet\u2019s move.\u201d He glances at his watch. \u201cBeen fifteen minutes since I should have checked in. Any minute they\u2019ll be finding my empty car.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<b>8<\/b>\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThey sprint in a tight clump past room after room of tutu lamps and IKEA mirrors. Five minutes pass. Ten minutes. Kehler curses. The others are too terrified to speak, ears peeled for the drone of aircraft beyond the rain and thunder.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cHere!\u201d Zin exclaims as a pink door with traces of peeled stickers materializes out of the gloom.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThey burst into the room. Darrell has never been in here before, only having seen it in passing, always with the same impression\u2014the room, the doll, everything Zin <em>is<\/em> that Frankenstein Monster Hello Kitty phone case\u2014the adorable transformed into the grotesque.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nAnd there she is, reclining on the aged pink dresser\u2014a one-eyed, bald amputee in a torn dress, left arm a porcupine. Zinnia dashes forward, draws her sword, and slashes sideways. A clean blow. Geraldine\u2019s head goes flying, caroms off the wall, and bounces to a stop at Kehler\u2019s boots.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWooh!\u201d Zin exclaims, eyes wild, ready to slice more.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nKehler hunches over and takes a reading on the doll head. For a minute there is nothing but the muted rain whisper-screaming through their headphones.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThen, from a distance, Darrell sees the results flash on the display.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<b>9<\/b>\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThey stand in a circle, gazing down at the head. The rain abruptly stops. Sunlight filters in through the pink chiffon and shredded black curtains framing the windows and balcony door. The heat trickles in soon after.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI don\u2019t get it. Geraldine had to have been the home base. I can\u2019t think of anything else it might be.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nKehler scrutinizes Zinnia for a moment. \u201cYou were the one that first noticed the disturbance.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cYeah, we established that.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cBut it was your lamp?\u201d He turns to Darrell.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cMy mother\u2019s,\u201d he corrects him. \u201cI could never bring myself to get rid of it.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhy not?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI don\u2019t have much left from her. And to me that lamp is so heartbreaking. She always wanted to be a ballerina. Never happened for her though. She says it was on account of her being black, not the type of graceful swan stage directors looked for in her time.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cMaybe it\u2019s <em>you<\/em>,\u201d Kehler muses.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cMe?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhy not?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cBut I didn\u2019t notice any\u2026. Oh, god.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cDar, what is it?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI know what it is. It wasn\u2019t the lamp to begin with. Something happened to me yesterday evening. Max and I were having a walk after dinner, and I remember the sound of the cicadas was overwhelming, and this intense nausea struck me.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhere was this?\u201d Kehler asks.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cThe old slave quarters. Just a field now. I brought something back into the house.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cYou mean that ugly piece of wood?\u201d Zin asks.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nDarrell nods. \u201cI thought it might be the remains of one of the cabins that used to be out there. I wanted to honor them somehow, their sacrifice, by hanging it in a prominent place in the house. Stupid, I know. In any case, it\u2019s been on my mind a lot since I found it yesterday.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhere is it now?\u201d the sergeant asks.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cThe library.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cAbout a thousand floors beneath us,\u201d Zin comments.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cNo time for the stairs.\u201d Kehler\u2019s eyes wander to the balcony. He rushes over and flings open the door. Darrell and Zin follow, eyes widening.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThrough a compound-eye perspective they see the beautiful green lawn ocean shining beneath the sun, hundreds of puddled front drives radiating out, vanishing into a monstrous forest, and the nightmarish convolutions of the mutated house. Dandelion has not simply replicated things and space; it has jumbled and overlapped the spatial components, perhaps in its attempt to more logically fit the pieces together. Whatever the reason, there are gaps below, between ground and house, of empty sky, and above of swards of grass and mangled, nonsensical house. Even through the noise-dampening headphones, the rolling white noise of cicadas blots out everything. They gaze up at the towering structure, how it branches and connects with other towers, some of them vanishing into the clouds.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cThere must be millions of replicated spatial units,\u201d Kehler says in awe, voice fragile juxtaposed next to the full chorus of Dandelion. He drops his gaze to the layers beneath them. \u201cI think I can make out some front doors from here.\u201d Lowers his trundle goggles over his eyes. \u201cI don\u2019t suppose ya\u2019ll ever rock-climbed before.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<b>10<\/b>\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nSergeant Kehler pulls out a variety of clips and webbing and harnesses and sets everything up, anchoring into one of the sturdy balcony columns.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nZinnia lights a cigarette and shares it with her brother-in-law as Kehler fits him into a harness.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nDarrell takes a drag with a shaking hand, then turns to the sergeant. \u201cWe ready?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nKehler straightens, nods.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cLet\u2019s get this over with.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cOkay. Now, no talking during the descent, but, Darrell, after you hit ground, keep us updated on your progress. We don\u2019t want to be in the process of lowering Zin when the home base is destroyed.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nDarrell gives the A-Okay sign. He hands the cigarette to Zin, steps over the railing, and stares down at the confused space. The descent will not be along the face of the mansion, but a free-hanging drop to the maze of front porch roofs below.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cDar, here.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe looks up and finds Zinnia\u2019s outstretched hand, worn Zippo in her fingers.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cFor the home base.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cThanks.\u201d He stuffs it in his pocket, holds onto the rail and leans back. Nods to Kehler. \u201cReady.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cLowering.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHis fingers release from the flaking whitewashed wood, and then he\u2019s hanging, spinning slowly above the expanse, hands clutching onto the rope, looking up at Kehler\u2019s strained face and Zin\u2019s encouraging one.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe starts to lower. Slowly, jerkily at first, until Kehler starts to develop a smooth rhythm.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nLooks back down\u2014<em>God<\/em>, <em>bad idea!<\/em> He squeezes his eyes shut, trying to blank out his mind.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cDamnit, Max, this is all your fault,\u201d he whispers, forgetting for a moment the mouthpiece of the headset.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nZinnia chuckles in his ear.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cFocus people,\u201d Kehler cuts in through gritted teeth.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nFor a time there is silence, the friction of the rope whispering through their headsets, the growing distance. Even Dandelion has grown quiet, perhaps watching the spectacle of the sweaty man dangling down over the void, like a bit of bait dropped into Hell, luring out some hungry demon.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<em>Is it reading me?<\/em> Darrell wonders. <em>Reading my mind or whatever it does? Trying to figure out how it should build next? Dandelion, if you can hear me, if you can make sense of my thoughts, stop building. Please, stop building.<\/em>\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe continues down, glancing up occasionally at the Army man and his sister-in-law, their faces soon just specks in the curving skyscraper face of Wellington.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nA flock of gulls unmoors from a district of second-story balconies and navigates across freestanding house spires and archways to the immense wall of forest. The sight of Dandelion\u2019s work with nature is a wonder\u2014cliffs wallpapered in a living floral print. At all levels of the forest structure, he can spot deer bounding over fallen trees, squirrels puzzling over the sudden growth of their domain, everywhere knots of black oak tendrils.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe glances below. Halfway into the emptiness. One hundred and fifty feet or so.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe finds he\u2019s been holding his breath, his chest painful, and he forces himself to exhale.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nLower, lower.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nClose now. Maybe seventy feet remaining. Beginning to feel nervous about what he has to do. Needs to move fast. No errors. No hesitation.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nMore gulls flit past. In their airspace now. One squawks.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nAnd the squawk bounces, up and up, rising in pitch, like the clock bell had, rat-tat-tatting, then surging into the full echoing insect song of Dandelion.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cDarrell!\u201d Zinnia shouts.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe looks up just before it happens, just before Dandelion builds. The height of the house doubles, other buttressing columns and wings branching out and filling in much of the intervening space, but just as had happened before, the rope is ignored as part of the multiplied space. For a second it just stands there like a magical one from <em>Arabian Nights.<\/em>\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThen the magic vanishes, the tension disappearing in a ripple of slack, and Darrell plummets.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<b>11<\/b>\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe crashes down onto the roof, screaming in pain, rope lashing down on him. He lies there for a moment breathless, then finally groans and prods around his right calf. Something horribly wrong with it\u2014jutting out. His fingers return to his face hot and red.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cChrist.\u201d He pales. Battles a swoon. Can\u2019t afford to pass out. Could be seconds before Fire Flower. Needs to move, broken leg or no. He rolls over onto his stomach, screaming out again as his leg overturns and the bone presses back into the wound.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe tears off the headset, jarred broken in the fall, and hurls it away, needing to vent on something. Glances around with strange, pain-focused vision and finds himself in an angular landscape of porch roofs\u2014islands and peninsulas and straits cutting across empty space and connecting to the cliffs of the Wellington monstrosity. He claws over to the nearest edge. Gazes down towards another sky through a network of white-painted walkways and columns. He loops one arm around the column, lowers his good leg, then starts to slide the bad one over, when the balance of his weight shifts and he spills off. There\u2019s a moment of flailing panic as he falls, but his back collides with the railing and he tumbles over onto the porch.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe pulls the five iron out of his belt and hoists himself up onto his good leg. With this crutch, he hobbles forward, towards a pocket of repeated doorways, a wooden hive in the center of this heavenly porch and its infinity of white columns. He bursts into the foyer and finds the front hallway a twisted screw of its former self, all threads from the many different regions woven together towards one (and only one) library.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nDandelion translates each pop and squeak of the floorboards into its own tongue, presenting Darrell with more front hallways, blooms and blooms of them, trying to distract, to circumvent him, but whatever it tries, whatever monstrous beauty it devises, there\u2019s just the one library, the center of the alien entity\u2019s beautiful, chaotic universe.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe limps over, trailing blood. Passes through the cased opening. There on the desk the blackened lumber pulsates as if crawling with termites.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nMassive, warped, hideous.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe slides it halfway off the desk, bends down with his crutch, and hefts it up on his back, nearly collapsing on his agonizing leg. He charges brokenly towards the window, driving the piece of wood through the glass, slicing his arms and hands.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nDandelion strings the shattering sound up into a sparkling glissando.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe shoves it down into the yard, sweeps away the remaining glass with the five iron, and descends gingerly onto the grass. Among countless storage sheds, he staggers into one, plucks up a gas can and staggers back out. Then he drags the lumber out into the field, body white hot, the pain scorching everything in him.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<em>Darrell, don\u2019t do this,<\/em> a voice whispers in his mind.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhat?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe emerald field stretches out around him, each blade glistening with rain, each sun-limned raindrop dazzling back the myriad other sun-limned raindrops.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<em>We only want to be with you,<\/em> it says. <em>We\u2019ve been searching for you for all of our existence.<\/em>\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe drops the piece of wood with a thunk. It beats, warping the space around it.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<em>We want to build wonders for you.<\/em>\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nDouses it in gasoline, each splash of gas spiraling and bubbling around the wood.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<em>We would be blissful together.<\/em>\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nBacks up a few feet, blinking the stinging sweat out of his eyes.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<em>You\u2019re safe here from Fire Flower. Deadlines don\u2019t matter.<\/em>\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nSparks Zin\u2019s lighter.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<em>They can bomb us, but we can just make more space, outstrip the explosion, an infinity of space just for us. We&#8217;re outside of their time now. We can vanish together into timeless nothingness.<\/em>\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nTosses it into the strange sculpture of opalescent liquid and ancient wood.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<b>12<\/b>\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nAs the home base burns, the cicadas crescendo into a disturbing frenzy.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe old slave quarters replicate exponentially. The massive forest disappears onto the horizon. Wellington looms high above, impossibly far away, a hazy mountain range, blue and ponderous. He\u2019s not sure if what he is seeing is Dandelion, some pain-induced hallucination, or maybe all of the dead passing through him, imbuing his mind with their tormented memories, giving him their eyes to see this place as they had seen it when working the fields two hundred years ago, transforming his hands, the refined gesturing blades of an academic, into the blunt farm tools that had defined their existence.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe keels over and vomits.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<b>13<\/b>\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nDarrell wakes to the fuzzy sight of Zinnia holding up the tutu lamp.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cThird floor guest room,\u201d he hears himself saying, his voice heavy and slow, \u201cand enough with the judgment.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cNo judgment, just amusement,\u201d she says, making a billows of her shirt to cool herself off. \u201cThird floor guest room\u2014for all to see.\u201d She mock-pirouettes out into the front hall and mounts the squeaky stairs, footsteps echoing in a strange, rapid way.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nFighting the vertigo, the d\u00e9j\u00e0 vu, Darrell reluctantly leaves the comfort of the fan and removes the last stack of books from the open box, a sharp twinge in his leg as he stoops down. He scans the spines\u2014more dry legal texts. Carrying them to the wall-to-wall bookshelf, he scales the rolling step ladder, and adds them to Max\u2019s section.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nAfter he descends, he guzzles some water, pulls back the curtain, and gazes out at the expansive grounds of Wellington Plantation, then to the desk, where the ancient beam still rests, ashy in the sunlight, and wonders how old the piece is, if it has any historical significance.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<em>Probably just a piece of lumber from Home Depot.<\/em>\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe walks back over to the boxes, questioning the odd fortune that had brought him to this beautiful\u2014but twisted\u2014place.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHis home.\n<\/p>\n<hr>\n<p><mbp:pagebreak><br \/>\n<a name=\"esther\"><\/a><\/p>\n<h1 class=\"western\" style=\"font-weight: normal; page-break-before: always\" lang=\"zxx\" align=\"CENTER\">\n<font face=\"Times New Roman, serif\"><font size=\"6\">The Garden of Esther<\/font><\/font><\/h1>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nBy Aaron Moskalik<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nSee that sun up there? It\u2019s just painted on. The real sun is a raisin with all the juice sucked out of it. I know \u2018cause I saw it. But before that, I lay in my own garden beneath another fake sky.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI knew the shape of every rock and leaf, the buzz of every insect, the whistle of every bird. I smelled every flower, climbed every tree&#8230; but I stayed out of the woods. Mother said I should never go in there and I was a good girl. Plus also I didn\u2019t have the key to the gate.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI let out a sigh. &#8220;There&#8217;s nothing to do.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nPuggle opened his eyes and peered up at me, his hedgehog spines tickling my belly. &#8220;We could play hide and seek.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI had on my bright yellow dress, my second favorite after the frilly lavender one. Mother said I shouldn&#8217;t climb trees in a dress if I ever wanted to wear it again, so now I wore this one and yellow\u2019s not a hidey color. I shook my head. &#8220;You cheat at that game \u2018cause you\u2019re not yellow.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nPuggle flicked his long tongue at me.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nBzzzz-whaa-whaa-wa-wa. A cicada buzzed angry not ten feet from me. A meadowlark stabbed at it with her needlely bill. I kicked a slipper at that bird. &#8220;Shoo! Leave that bug alone.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;She&#8217;s just trying to feed her babies,&#8221; Puggle said.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThat\u2019s all the world needs, more babies. The meadowlark hopped a step away, one beady eye on me, the other on the wiggly bug. &#8220;Go away bird, I&#8217;m the top of the food chain.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nPuggle made his eyes squinty at me. &#8220;What do you know about food chains?&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;Mr. Professor told me about them.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nPuggle shook his head and looked sad at me. &#8220;He needs an upgrade then. They\u2019re called food webs and they don&#8217;t have tops.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI stuck my tongue at that hedgehog. \u2018Cause he\u2019s not so smart, that\u2019s why. Everything has a top. Mama Meadowlark flew away with the no longer wiggly cicada silent in her beak.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nFrom inside the cottage a wail burst out. Emily, my baby sister, \u2018cept I never even asked for a baby sister. Well, maybe once but that was before I knew better and I shouldn\u2019t have to be punished for that.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nPuggle rolled off my belly. His ears flicked toward the woods and his eyes got squinty then he turned toward the cottage. \u201cWe should go see if Lady Ella needs any help.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI scrunched my nose at what it would smell like in there. I bet I was never that stinky unless you count that time I found a dead frog and forgot it in my pocket for two days. \u201cPuggle, what was I like when I was a baby?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nPuggle stopped his waddle and looked curious at me. \u201cWell, you weren\u2019t much bigger than I am&#8211;\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cDid you love me?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe nuzzled my face and whispered, \u201cI\u2019m here to love you.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI smiled where Puggle couldn\u2019t see it. \u201cLet\u2019s not go inside then.\u201d I stood and started walking.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nPuggle scampered to keep up. \u201cWait! Where are you going then?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cMother\u2019s busy, so I\u2019m going to see the woods.\u201d \u2018Cept I didn\u2019t say it out loud \u2018cause Puggle gets nervous around broken rules.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe stone path narrowed into mossy stairs near the back of the garden. The flowers and shrub-shapes grew taller as we went until they ended at a hedge three times my height circling the entire garden. Beyond that, oaks and maples waved and whispered. Esther\u2026 Esther\u2026 Esther\u2026\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nPuggle wheezed up the last stair. \u201cYou\u2019re not allowed back there.\u201d He rolled into a ball, just his eyes and pointy nose stick out of his spikes.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cOh, and you are Mr. Pricklypants?\u201d I learned that from watching stories on my room\u2019s wall. You put \u201cpants\u201d on a name to make it mean funny.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nPuggle rolled himself so tight I couldn\u2019t even see his nose. \u201cWe should go. You can\u2019t get through the gate without the key anyway.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe gate was twisty black bars and as tall as the hedge. I pressed my face against the cool metal then blinked and squinted but couldn\u2019t see anything but fuzzy bleary dark.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe gate lurched. There was a screech.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI think the gate screeched too and maybe Puggle. My bottom dragged the stones as I crab-walked backwards. Puggle crouched before me, spines flared and teeth bared. From the blackness something slithered out, a green triangle head with mean eyes followed by a long scaly body, dragonfly wings, stubby legs and a snakey tail. It flicked its forked tongue at Puggle then rose onto its hind legs and waved one claw. \u201cHello, Esther. Name\u2019s Foster.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cYou\u2019re not supposed to be this side of the gate.\u201d Puggle was shaking at that lizard like an emptying balloon and making those noises too. I worried about that hedgehog \u2018cause he might be a lergic. Mr. Professor said lergics react to particular things\u2026 like maybe green winged lizards.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI stepped between Puggle and that lizard and clenched my fists. \u201cYou leave Puggle alone. You\u2019ll be sorry if he goes into Anna Galactic Shock mode.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nFoster cocked his head and blinked his eyes in a weird lizardy way then he flicked his tongue at Puggle. \u201cThings are getting worse out there. It\u2019s time to show Esther&#8211;\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nPuggle launched himself at Foster\u2019s face. I\u2019d never seen Anna Galactic Shock mode before. \u2018pparently it involves a lot claws and screaming. Poor Foster had spines stuck all over him. I did warn him though.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThat wail sliced through the commotion. Baby Emily, and she was getting closer. I covered my ears and even Puggle paused, mid-shock mode.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nFoster took the \u2018tunity to slip behind the gate. Just his forked tongue poked from the darkness. \u201cGet the key and meet me here tomorrow. You need to see something,\u201d he hissed, then the gate clunked closed and he was gone.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cEsther! I told you to stay where I could see you.\u201d Mother had been running. She\u2019d hiked her dress above her knees with one hand and in the other held Emily who was raising a ruckus. As usual. Emily crying that is, not Mother running. She almost never runs.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThat\u2019s not what drew my \u2018ttention though. It was Mother\u2019s eyes open so wide and wild as her hair. My tummy knotted itself. \u201cMother, are you a lergic too?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<hr>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nLuckily, Mother never went into Anna Galactic Shock mode. She did say I was grounded which is almost as bad. Grounded means I have to stay in my room \u2018cept for lunch and dinner and if I have to use the bathroom, but definitely not to peek at the baby while she\u2019s sleeping.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThat wasn\u2019t even the worst part though. It was Puggle. He went all grayish and stayed rolled up. I petted him for a long time, but his eyes just looked sad at me and he didn\u2019t say anything.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe\u2019d been like this before but never so bad and the next morning he\u2019d be all pink and lively again. Mother said Puggles sometimes get tired is all, \u2018specially if they have to keep up with an Esther. This time though, I think it was the shock mode, \u2018cause half his spines were missing.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI\u2019m sorry Puggle. I shouldn\u2019t have gone to the gate. I\u2019ll listen to you next time, I promise.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe took a big breath and closed his eyes. I think that hedgehog was disappointed in me.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe next morning Puggle was even grayer. That\u2019s when my eyes got wettish and my throat swelled inside. Hard to believe. a big girl like me crying, but I saw even Mother cry once. It was right after Daddy left the last time.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nAnd guess what? Whizzo G Wow, that\u2019s what, \u2018cause Mother says it\u2019s important to name your emotions plus also Daddy walked into my room right exactly then and I hadn\u2019t even seen that guy since before I lost my first tooth and learned how to cartwheel.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI wanted to smile real big to show Daddy my new tooth but I just squeezed my face against his chest instead. He wrapped his arms around me and I breathed in as much Daddy smell as I could through all the snot pouring out my nose.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cPuggle\u2019ll be alright, Pumpkin, I promise.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI cleared my eyes. \u201cH-how do you know?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHis face looked sad at me even though the corner of his mouth held a smile. \u201cHe\u2019s my heart, and he\u2019s in yours.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI squinted at that guy, \u2018cause that made no sense. He ruffled my hair. That\u2019s what adults do to change the subject. \u201cSo, your mother tells me you were playing near the gate.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI looked down and said soft, \u201cI like to listen to the trees.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cDid you see anything else?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe corner of my eye watched him. \u201cN-no.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cThat\u2019s good. That means only Puggle saw the dragon.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI was too late covering my big mouth. \u201cIs that what Foster is, a dragon?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nDaddy\u2019s secret smile was bigger this time, but his eyes looked even more sad at me. \u201cDragons can be dangerous. The outside world is dangerous. That\u2019s why your mother doesn\u2019t want you near that gate. Do you understand?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cYeah, well she doesn\u2019t need to worry \u2018cause that gate is locked and I don\u2019t even have the key.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cNo, you don\u2019t. Only I do.\u201d Daddy held up something. It was gold and shaped like an apple on one end and a toothy on the other. I reached for it but Daddy snatched it back.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cIt\u2019s my job to protect you. And Puggle.\u201d Daddy stood and scooped him up. \u201cCome on little guy, we\u2019ll see what we can do\u2026\u201d He put the key down on my desk and stroked Puggle\u2019s back. He frowned \u2018cause of all those missing spines I think. He looked hard at me. \u201cDon\u2019t go near that gate, OK?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI nodded. \u201cDon\u2019t forget your key.\u201d But I only said it in my head then I sat on my bed and thought about Puggle \u2018cause Puggle was always with me and now he wasn\u2019t which made me jittery inside. That key sat there too, but I bet it wasn\u2019t jittery \u2018cause keys only open things. Until then, they just sit there waiting.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nKeys are good at patience I think.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nBut not me, so I came in here even though I\u2019m grounded. Sometimes I need to watch babies sleeping \u2018specially if I\u2019m jittery.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI\u2019m going now. I\u2019m going to see Foster \u2018cause I don\u2019t think Daddy can fix Puggle\u2026 and it\u2019s my fault he\u2019s hurt.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nDo you want to know a secret? I\u2019m scared. Maybe\u2026 maybe I won\u2019t make it back.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nGoodbye, Emily. I \u2018ppreciate you listening even if I call you Princess Poopypants sometimes.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<hr>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI wore my least favorite dress \u2018cause I\u2019d probably be climbing trees, maybe even wrestling dragons. Plus also this dress had big plaid pockets on the front which Mother says is practical. I see what she means. I put that key in one and a sammich in the other.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI think I spelt sammich wrong \u2018cause when I typed it into the fooderator it came up question marks but Mother and Daddy were arguing in the next room and I was \u2018sposed to be grounded so I just pushed more buttons \u2018til the question marks went away. What came out didn\u2019t look much like a sammich plus also it didn\u2019t smell like I \u2018spected either, but the machine beeped so loud I just grabbed it and sneaked out the door.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThat big faker sun was straight overhead. Course I didn\u2019t know it was a faker then, I just knew it was hot and made the air all shimmery and thick and only the cicadas buzzed in the bushes but not even the birds.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI wore boots \u2018cause I didn\u2019t want Foster to be able to bite my toes in sandals but now sweat dripped down there and made a squelchy sound when I walked. That\u2019s not even the worst part though. That was my sammich. I was beginning to \u2018spect it was tuna fish. I hate tuna fish, \u2018specially when it gets warm and drippy in your plaid dress pocket which smells that way even after it\u2019s washed.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nSo instead, I reached into my other pocket and pulled out the key. It was big and heavy and made me feel better. Stronger. I held that apple above my head so it caught a sunbeam shining through the shady shrubs around the stairs where I was by then. \u201cDon\u2019t worry Puggle. I\u2019ll get your spines back from that dragon. Then Daddy can fix you for sure.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe trees waved and whispered at me from above the hedge in a breeze only they could feel. <em>Esther, Esther, save him, save him\u2026<\/em>\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nYou better believe it, trees. I squelched up the last few steps. The gate loomed over me all twisty and black. I did a swallow \u2018cause my throat was scratchy dry and I didn\u2019t even bring my water bottle with the unicorns and rainbows on it. I gulped a big breath and clunked the key into the lock. Click. It turned. Screech. The gates opened.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI paused before I went through \u2018cause here\u2019s the puzzley part, I didn\u2019t see trees on the other side. I didn\u2019t even see darkness, only a bright white hallway that made my eyes all watery. \u201cF-foster?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nFoster\u2019s voice tickled my ear. \u201cHello, Esther. Come on back.\u201d I jumped and whirled and still didn\u2019t see him.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cDon\u2019t worry, I don\u2019t bite.\u201d This time the voice was far off. I took a step past the gate. The walls were cool and sparkly where touched. I looked back and my tummy tumbled \u2018cause the gate was gone and everywhere looked the same white.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nSomewhere Foster was singing all echoey and not very good but least I could follow the sound. A trail of flowers drifted behind me on the wall from my fingertips but then the wall ended and I almost fell into a large room that was even brighter&#8211;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nFrank N Freaky! I blinked my eyes to get them to work right again but still no luck. For starters there was Foster, but more \u2018bout him later. And then there was Puggle. Well not just one Puggle, a whole line of Puggles but different sizes from tiny to the biggest one which was still smaller than the real Puggle and each in a machine full of greenish water.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nOn the other side of the room was another line of machines filled with Daddies \u2018cept with no clothes on and the biggest Daddy was still a boy I think.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nBehind Foster down the middle of the room was the last line of machines filled with more Fosters. The smaller Fosters were curled up like they were in an egg which was kinda cute but not really. Maybe if my tummy was behaving right. Foster had just climbed out of his machine \u2018pparently \u2018cause the green goo still dripped off him like snot into a puddle \u2018round his feet. He waved with a big toothy lizard grin, then sniffed the air. \u201cWhat is that smell?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nAll I smelled was the green snot which was like plum pudding twelve days after Xmas\u2026 plus also my sammich. I brought it out. \u201cTuna fish, you want some?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI had to snatch my fingers back \u2018cause he snapped it up in two bites. \u201cSorry, I\u2019m always hungry just out of the tank.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI just squinted at him \u2018cause my eyes were still seeing too many Puggles and Daddies and Fosters and my tummy was all hurly and I had to pee really bad and I wished I was still grounded at home.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThen I sat down \u2018cause my legs were tired, not \u2018cause my eyes were watery or my nose was sniffly or anything.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<hr>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nFoster liked to \u2018splain things. He\u2019d been \u2018splaining for a while, but also he was messing with the tank of the biggest Puggle which got my \u2018ttention.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI wiped my eyes and stepped out of the puddle. Least I didn\u2019t have to pee anymore. \u201cYou leave Puggle alone\u2026 what are you doing anyway?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nFoster blinked down at me from on top his step ladder. \u201cPuggle and I are on the same team even if we don\u2019t always see eye to eye. We need him back and like I was saying, we have to make Puggle\u2019s body grow bigger before he can get into it. The problem is, we don\u2019t have much time so I\u2019m speeding up the process.\u201d He poured a bag of powder into the tank then grabbed a large spoon. \u201cThe agitators will take too long, so I\u2019m mixing this in manually.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cNow, the problem with speeding up the process is the body won\u2019t last as long, maybe just a couple days instead of the usual week.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI peered into the glass. Little bubbles were pouring out of Puggle like fizzy drink. \u201cWas I born in a tank too?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nFoster dipped a claw in the tank and tasted it. \u201cThat should do it.\u201d Then he blinked at me. \u201cOf course not. You grew in your Mother the way they used to do it. Your father insisted. You see, you\u2019re human.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI \u2018membered Mother before Emily came and her belly so big. I wondered if all the bubbles inside tickled but Mother just waddled around and groaned a lot, so I guess not. \u201cWhy doesn\u2019t Daddy grow inside Mother too then? He\u2019s human.\u201d I squinted at the biggest Daddy. He didn\u2019t have a belly button.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cActually, he\u2019s transhuman.\u201d Foster put the lid back on Puggle\u2019s tank and climbed down. \u201cShould just be a couple of minutes now. You need to get into your suit.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cTrance human? Is that why he\u2019s sleeping?\u201d I tapped the glass. The young Daddy inside didn\u2019t move.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nFoster slither-slid around the machines toward the back of the room, \u2018splaining in a loud voice. \u201cTrans means beyond. Humanity long ago moved beyond single bodies and single consciences. Society has since integrated and virtualized into quadrillions of human equivalent minds. You are a throwback I\u2019m afraid. But your father thinks something was lost when we shed our bodies\u2026\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nFoster was too far away for his words to make sense, I think, plus also something was happening in Puggle\u2019s tank&#8211; he started to move. And his eyes opened. I climbed the ladder and yanked the lid off. It was too heavy so it clattered on the floor. Maybe broke a little too.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI was busy getting Puggle out though. The green goo tingled my arms but all I felt was the Puggle snuggle I thought I\u2019d never have again even if it was plum pudding gross.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nPuggle coughed. \u201cYou\u2019re squeezing me too tight.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cSorry. Plus also I\u2019m sorry you have to grow new bodies \u2018cause I wore you out so many times.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cYou make my heart stronger and that\u2019s worth a million bodies.\u201d He gave me a prickle kiss and jumped down. \u201cEsther, you need to do what Foster says, OK?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI thought you didn\u2019t like Foster.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cFoster\u2026 has a different perspective on things, but right now we agree. We\u2019re all going on a trip.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nFoster was back holding two shiny suits over his stubby arms. He held one out to me. \u201cGet out of those clothes and put this on.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI hadn\u2019t got to climb any trees, but my dress was ruined anyway from the tuna fish and pee and green gooey pudding. I kicked it aside. The good news was Mother would prob\u2019ly never see it. It felt good to get out of those squelchy boots too. I curled my toes up just in case though but Foster was helping Puggle into his suit so my toes were safe.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI slipped into my suit. It hugged my skin soft on the inside but hard on the outside and covered everything, feet and fingers and face even. I zipped it tight and the zipper disappeared.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cGood.\u201d Foster \u2018spected me from every side. \u201cLooks like you\u2019re ready.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhere\u2019s your suit?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI\u2019m a dragon. My suit\u2019s built in.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nFoster waved for us to follow and began winding his way through the machines. I looked to Puggle and he nodded.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe room got darker toward the back of the room. The air smelt funny inside the suit but also I could see little green glowy numbers that didn\u2019t move even when I turned my head but some of them changed every time I breathed.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nFoster pushed a button on the wall and doors slid open. Behind them was a small room. \u201cThis elevator takes us to the surface.\u201d He waved us forward.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhat\u2019s the surface?\u201d Inside the elevator were five buttons. The bottom was lit with the letter \u201cG\u201d.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nFoster hit the top one labeled \u201cS\u201d and a door slid closed behind us then the floor jerked and I had to grab a rail on the wall. \u201cWe\u2019re deep inside the moon Europa,\u201d he \u2018splained, \u201cbut a meme storm hit Ganymede and knocked out half the q-tangle feeds so now the YRU is trying to relocate a trillion refugees. They want a full inventory of Europa\u2019s resources\u2026\u201d He paused and glanced at Puggle then me and shrugged. \u201cNevermind. The important thing is, we can\u2019t let them find you.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cThis whole thing would\u2019ve been smoother if you let me handle it,\u201d Puggle grouched. \u201cNow you\u2019ve got Esther scared halfway out of her mind&#8211;\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhat\u2019s the surface?\u201d I asked again. As much as Foster liked to \u2018splain things, he wasn\u2019t very good at it.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cSee for yourself,\u201d Foster said. Bing. The door slid open.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhizzo G. Wow.\u201d I had to whisper it under my breath \u2018cause my breath was already taken by what my eyeballs couldn\u2019t even take in.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cJupiter,\u201d Puggle said as we slid out onto a white slippery world. \u201cThe big orange ball. The little purple one to the side is Ganymede.\u201d He pointed his snout over my shoulder and past the squat little elevator building. \u201cAnd that\u2019s the sun.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nLike I told you earlier, the sun was a disappointment. \u201cWhy\u2019s it so small?\u201d It wasn\u2019t even yellow, just a dirty white glare in a sky that wasn\u2019t blue but instead nighttime. A nighttime sun. I just shook my head.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cIn our habitat below, the sun is simulated to look the size it appears on Earth. We\u2019re a lot further away out here.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cOh.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nBut then there was Jupiter.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nJupiter was bigger even than the sun in the habby cat. I don\u2019t know why Puggle calls the garden a cat. We used to have a cat named Mr. Peepers and he was a tabby cat. Jupiter kinda looked like that \u2018cept no whiskers but all orange and white and swirly and even a big glary eye but this one was red and Mr. Peepers had gold eyes but Daddy told Mother he couldn\u2019t stay with us anymore \u2018cause of who looked through those eyes.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI shivered a little. Jupiter was looking at me just like that.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cCome on.\u201d Foster looked impatience at us over his shoulder as he slither-slid onto the ice. \u201cThe YRU will find us fast out here.\u201d A gray ball the size of the cottage rested on spider legs a dozen yards away. A set of stairs dropped from a round yellow lit door. Foster paused before climbing them. \u201cThis spaceship will take us to the new habitat.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nMy feet stuck to the ice, maybe \u2018cause the bottom of the suit was sticky but also my heart squoze real tight and my knees locked. \u201cWhat about Mother and Emily? Aren\u2019t they coming?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nPuggle glared at Foster then looked sad at me. \u201cThe new habitat is a lot smaller. It can only sustain one human life&#8211;\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nMy knees unlocked and I moved so quick I jammed my finger on the \u201cG\u201d button before Puggle could even keep the \u2018stonishment from falling out his mouth.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWait, the YRU&#8211;\u201d The elevator door cut Puggle off. I gripped the wall bar and the floor dropped.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<hr>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<em>Breathing\u2026 breathing\u2026 breathing\u2026 Mother&#8230; she\u2019ll be mad I sneaked out of my room\u2026 Thinking, breathing\u2026 breathing\u2026 breathing\u2026 Has she seen the surface? Did Jupiter glare at her and that\u2019s why we live deep underground?&#8230; Thinking, breathing, breathing\u2026 breathing\u2026 breathing exercises are hard, I bet Emily can\u2019t even do them. Maybe I can teach her, like Daddy taught me\u2026 thinking, breathing\u2026 breathing\u2026 breathing\u2026 breathing\u2026 Why are you? Who are the Why Are You? Maybe Mr. Peepers was the Why Are You? Thinking\u2026 <\/em>\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nBing.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe elevator door opened, but the room was dark now \u2018cept the machines glowed green a bit. The little Fosters seemed to be watching me even with their eyes closed. My footsteps made sticky poppy sounds that echoed. Skree-pop, pop, pop\u2026 Skree-pop, pop, pop\u2026\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nPop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop!\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nMy heart pounded faster than my feet, but I slowed down \u2018cause the hall was even darker. It didn\u2019t even make flowers when I dragged my fingertips on it. Skree-pop, skree-pop, skree-pop, skree-pop \u2026\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nScreech! I left the gate opened \u2018cause I forgot to grab the apple key and no way I was going back in there now, well least not without Mother\u2026 and Emily I guess.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe garden was night with no faker sun or even faker stars but I wasn\u2019t even tired. Well maybe a little but it wasn\u2019t bedtime yet \u2018cause I never had dinner\u2026 or even lunch. My tummy growled and I wished I had that sammich back even if it was tuna fish.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI had a bigger problem first. It was dark. And quiet \u2018cept for Ol\u2019 Man Bullfrog in the pond. Why\u2026 why\u2026 why\u2019re you? Why\u2026 why\u2026 why\u2019re you? And the green numbers on my suit mask. There were green glowy pictures too. One looked like a sun. I blinked at that thing.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nSam Bam Whammoman! The front of my suit lit up, that\u2019s why and I could see day again. I looked hard at those other pictures \u2018cause they were like Pink Peony magic spells or something. I blinked at the apple and banana in a glass. A tube popped into my mouth and\u2026\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nYum!\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nEchoey sounds came out of the gate. The Why Are You! Or maybe Foster and Puggle. I ran \u2018cause Mother\u2026 and Emily of course. The windows of the cottage were lit up so I blinked at the moon picture and my suit light dimmed and I snuck in the kitchen door.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nOnly the fooderator glowed in the kitchen, but I didn\u2019t even need that thing \u2018cause I had Pink Peony powers now. I sucked some more juice just to make sure.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nYum!\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nMost of the light was coming from the living room. Mother and Daddy weren\u2019t arguing anymore but Emily gurgled and Mother murmured so I peeked \u2018round the corner.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nMother was wearing a weird hat and laying on the couch. Daddy looked sad down at her. Emily lay on the floor batting at a mobile.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cAre you ready?\u201d Daddy asked.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nMother nodded.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cReady for what?\u201d I covered my mouth \u2018cause I prob\u2019ly shouldn\u2019t be there but too late.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nMother sat up and the hat wobbled a bit but she spread her arms and I ran into them. She stroked my hair \u2018cept I had the suit on and prob\u2019ly looked like an alien but nobody cared right then.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nDaddy turned his sad on me. \u201cI had hoped you\u2019d be halfway to the new habitat by now.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cPuggle says there\u2019s only space for one and so where\u2019s Mother and Emily going to fit? Plus also I don\u2019t even understand why it\u2019s called a habby cat anyway \u2018cause Mr. Peepers was kinda creepy and I don\u2019t want to be there if he\u2019s gonna be there.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nMother gave Daddy a look. I think she thought Mr. Peepers was creepy too but sometimes adults just look things instead of saying them even though when we look things at them they tell us to use our words.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nDaddy looked serious at me. \u201cIt\u2019s a habi-tat, so I promise Mr. Peepers won\u2019t be there.\u201d He looked regret at Mother. \u201cMr. Peeper\u2019s was the biggest mistake I ever made. I\u2019m sorry\u2026 I\u2019m sorry I can\u2019t fix this, Ella. Can you forgive me?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nMother blinked and swallowed then kissed him. A scary kiss\u2026 maybe when you\u2019re older you\u2019ll understand \u2018bout kisses mixed with tears and nobody breathes \u2018cause if they do then that\u2019s it but \u2018ventually she said, \u201cYou\u2019re the reason why we\u2019re here. Thank you.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nDaddy looked dazed then cleared his throat. \u201cWe don\u2019t have much time. We need to finish this or you\u2019ll be stuck with the refugees. And I\u2019ve got to get Esther back to the ship.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cFinish what?\u201d I asked again. Sometimes adults get sidetracked.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nMother squoze me and looked her sad at me. \u201cI\u2019m going to be virtualized. That way I can fit in the new habitat with you.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cVirtumalized?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cVirtu-alized. I won\u2019t have a body but I can still talk to you.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhat about Emily?\u201d That baby was not even paying \u2018ttention. Just playing with her mobile.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cShe\u2019ll be virtualized too.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cShe won\u2019t have a body? How will she grow up to be a big girl like me?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cShe will have a body, just a virtual one.\u201d Mother breathed big then blew it out. \u201cWe\u2019re unique with our bodies. Other people don\u2019t have them. We\u2019ll still be here, OK? We\u2019ll be fine.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nSomehow I wasn\u2019t believing her. Maybe \u2018cause she just whispered that last bit. Maybe \u2018cause nobody said they would virtualize me and why not if it was going to be fine? Daddy gently pried us apart and leaned Mother back on the couch. I couldn\u2019t see what he did next. My eyes were all blurry. I couldn\u2019t even see the Pink Peony spells. Maybe one of them could\u2019ve fixed this, but instead my eyes just got waterier and waterier.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cFocus on your breathing,\u201d Daddy was saying. \u201cYou won\u2019t feel anything as you transfer. Just breath slow\u2026 good\u2026 nice and slow\u2026 there. Open your eyes.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI blinked away the water, but Mother\u2019s eyes were still closed and\u2026 I don\u2019t think she was breathing either. Not even slow.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nAnd somebody was shrieking which made Emily start crying.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cEsther! Esther baby, calm down. I\u2019m here. I\u2019m right here, baby.\u201d Mother\u2019s face was on the wall, like Mr. Professor, and she wasn\u2019t wearing the funny hat like Mother on the couch. Daddy took that hat off and covered her with a blanket.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nSomehow I felt a little better.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cGood. Now you need to help Daddy with Emily. That way she can be with me, OK?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI nodded. Emily was crying. Hard. \u201cBut I want to be with you too.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI\u2019ll be with you, but I can\u2019t take care of Emily unless she\u2019s virtualized like me. Right now I need you to be a big girl. A big sister. You need to take care of her until then, OK?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI swallowed and nodded again then I tried to grab that baby but she screamed louder and punched at my nose with her baby fists. \u2018sperience told me it should hurt like hello pee-no peppers \u2018cept I didn\u2019t even feel it \u2018cause I was wearing the suit plus also I looked like an alien.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI tried pulling on the mask but it wouldn\u2019t budge then I saw a flashing green picture of a mask and a minus. I blinked at it and the suit split down the front. I flopped that mask back and smiled at that baby. \u201cIt\u2019s me. Esther.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nPow! \u2018sperience was right, it felt just like a mouthful of hello pee-no peppers. I said a bad word. \u201cBooty!\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nEmily giggled \u2018cause bad words are funny to babies I think. I snatched her up and held her out. \u201cHere Daddy, she\u2019s ready to be virtualized now.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nDaddy wasn\u2019t paying \u2018ttention. Neither was Mother \u2018cause she wasn\u2019t even on the wall anymore. Instead there was Mr. Peepers. Well not really Mr. Peepers but his eyes all over the wall. A godzillion of them.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nOK, I\u2019m not even sure they were Mr. Peepers\u2019 eyes, but they were creepy like his. And they were talking in a buzzy voice like the cicada but not scared, instead mean. \u201cZohan D, we find you in possession of over ten undeclared terragrams, grossly underutilized, which are subject to seizure under emergency code 45.872 subsection K. In addition, you will be immediately compartmentalized and held for further questioning. Should you wish to file an objection, you have ten minutes before the utilization protocol begins.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWho\u2019re they, Daddy?\u201d I whispered it. Emily started to whimper so I held her tight.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nDaddy knelt down and put his hands on my shoulders. \u201cThey\u2019re the Yogic Resource Unit. The YRU. Now, I need you to listen carefully, OK?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI nodded and he kissed my forehead. \u201cThat\u2019s my big girl. You need to get to the surface and get in the space ship. Puggle and Foster will help you.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhat about Emily?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHis eyes looked sad at me and he held out his arms. \u201cI\u2019ll take care of her.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI shook my head, eyes blurry again and squoze Emily to me. \u201cNo, you can\u2019t. They \u2018mentalized you.\u201d I whispered the last \u2018cause Daddy\u2019s eyes were glazed and his hands fell off my shoulders and his head slumped forward.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nBut then, all of the sudden, the Why Are You eyes were wiped from the walls and instead Daddy\u2019s face, his eyes wide and scary. \u201cGo Esther. I can\u2019t hold them long.\u201d The eyes were creeping back in the corners, but the big Daddy head somehow made them pop each time. \u201cTake that, you motherless mechs!\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI held Emily tight and ran toward the kitchen. She began to grunt, her eyes closed tight and her face all scrunchy.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nSwampy C Cesspool! I turned \u2018round and down the hall. No way I was carrying a stinky baby all the way to Jupiter. Plus also we\u2019d need diapers. I put Emily on her changing table then I put the mask back over my head.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nWhew E Perfumy, that smelt better.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nChanging diapers is tricky. Mother\u2019s face \u2018ppeared on the wall but she wasn\u2019t much help. \u201cDon\u2019t let them take Emily, Esther. I was wrong. She needs her body. It\u2019s not the same, being virtual. It\u2019s not the same at all. It\u2019s so abstract. All meta and no meat.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cOK, Mother, just tell me how to get the nurserator to make more wipes.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cOh, that won\u2019t work. The YRU shut everything down. Wipe her on the bedsheets. They\u2019ll all be recycled soon anyway. Everything is recycled here. Even thoughts. Everything you can possibly think has already been thought by someone and recorded and then just replayed. What\u2019s the point? What\u2019s the point of any of it?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nWipe her on the bedsheets? The last time I did that I got yelled at. Virtualized Mother was more practical I think \u2018cept that most of what she said didn\u2019t make sense.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThere, Emily was clean and squirmy and naked. I picked her up but then I thought about the long way to the elevator and she got heavy and my back ached and now I knew why the bubbles didn\u2019t tickle Mother on the inside.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nA green picture of a zombie or something flashed inside the mask. I wasn\u2019t sure how that would help but I blinked at it anyway.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nCrike E Yikes! My arms and legs went rigid\u2026 then started walking on their own. I stumbled into the wall.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cYou control it by looking where you want to go,\u201d virtualized Mother said. \u201cI\u2019ve got the suit\u2019s user guide in my mind. There\u2019s encyclopedias, whole libraries of information&#8230;\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cThanks, Mother.\u201d Emily was crying \u2018cause my arms were stiff and jerky, but I had an idea. I blinked off the zombie and took off the suit.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nIt was a struggle getting it on Emily but once I did it shrunk to her size. I pulled the mask to the top of her head. She squinted at me hard. \u201cBooty!\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThen that baby laughed.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nSigh O Sister. I put the mask over her head \u2018cause that baby wasn\u2019t even funny. Plus also I had another problem. How was I going to blink at that green picture when it was inside where only Emily could see it? \u201cMother, you still got that guide in your mind?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cHuh? Yeah, sure baby.\u201d Mother\u2019s eyes were funny, like she was looking somewhere far away. And her whole face was going blurry on the wall. \u201cWhat did you need again?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cCan I use the Pink Peony spells? From the outside?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cPink Peony? I\u2019m not seeing that in the index\u2026 here\u2019s a chapter called \u2018Slaving a Second Suit\u2019.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI don\u2019t have a second suit.\u201d I stamped my foot \u2018cause virtualized Mother wasn\u2019t too smart. \u201cThis is a \u2018mergency!\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cOf course, dear. Why didn\u2019t you say so? Here\u2019s a chapter called \u2018Emergency Override\u2019. The access panel is on the bottom of the right boot. Slide it back and there is a big red button\u2026\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI was already pushing that thing.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cDon\u2019t push it.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhat?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cDon\u2019t push the red button. That\u2019s the turbo boost. It locks you out of the manual override.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhy\u2019d you tell me about it then?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cSo you wouldn\u2019t push it.\u201d Mother was just a color blotch now and her voice was getting buzzy.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nEmily giggled, \u2018cept it was turbo boosted and I had to cover my ears.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhat do I do now? Mother?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201c\u2026 lzt\u2026 brzz\u2026 sorry baby\u2026 love you\u2026\u201d Blip. She was gone. The wall was blank. Then the Why Are You eyes looked at me from everywhere.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nBoosted Emily said it for me. \u201cBOOTY!\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u2018Cept I didn\u2019t find her giggling afterward \u2018ppropriate.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<hr>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nOk, giggling wasn\u2019t so bad, least compared with crying. When normal babies cry they are loud. Boosted babies? Ouch.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nPlus also my back. Emily was getting heavier with every step. I made it through the kitchen fast \u2018cause all those eyes watching me from the walls.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nOutside was worse. Now the eyes glowed in the dark. Plus they talked too, with bullfrog and cicada and meadowlark voices. Why are you? Why are you? Why are you? At least it was dark, maybe they couldn\u2019t see me.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nSam Bam Whammoman! The suit light came on. Boosted. I was holding the sun. Now they could see me for sure. Plus also after I blinked the stars out of my eyes I noticed I was only in my underwear.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI ran but not far \u2018cause I tripped and Emily went flying. Her crying stopped. The suit light went off and my heart stopped.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI crawled on hands and knees toward where the light had been. The suit was hard\u2026 and cold. \u201cEmily? You OK? It\u2019s me, Esther.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe suit softened in my arms. \u201cEsta? Booty.\u201d She didn\u2019t giggle this time, just sighed. Plus also she wasn\u2019t boosted, just snuggly. Maybe even better than a Puggle snuggle.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nBut I wished that hedgehog was there anyway \u2018cause he had good ideas sometimes. \u201cWhat are we going to do, Emily?\u201d The Why Are You were still out there asking their question plus getting closer \u2018cause the eyes were getting bigger. We had to get to Foster\u2019s spaceship before they virtualized us into fuzzy heads on the wall who couldn\u2019t even read user guides right.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nMy legs and back felt all rubbery when I tried to stand. I plopped back down. No way I could carry Emily any more. \u201cI wish you knew how to talk. I could tell you how to use the Pink Peony spells.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cEsta, blink, blink.\u201d The suit light flashed on, then off.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nMy \u2018stonishment fell out my mouth. Maybe babies aren\u2019t so dumb. \u201cYes. Blink! Blink on the zombie.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cBom-bee?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI put Emily down and stood with my arms out. \u201cErrrgh\u2026\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nEmily turned her light and her face toward me. \u201cEsta bom-bee?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cBrains\u2026 brains\u2026 must eat brains\u2026\u201d I stumbled around for a bit to show her then stopped\u2014 \u2018cause all around the Why Are You echoed \u201cBrains\u2026 brains\u2026 brains\u2026\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nCreepy.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cBom-bee!\u201d The suit jerked toward me. \u201cBwaynes\u2026 Bwaynes\u2026 booty bwaynes\u2026\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cJust look at me, Emily.\u201d I walked backward to make sure she followed. Emily was giggling again. Still not \u2018ppropriate but I smiled at that baby anyway.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u2018cause now we were getting somewhere.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<hr>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nEven smiles weren\u2019t \u2018ppropriate when we found Puggle. He didn\u2019t look good, even worse than when Daddy took him away and left the apple key to the big creaky gate that I left open. It was hard getting Emily through it though \u2018cause she was crying again and not looking at me and the suit just stopped and the light went out.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThat\u2019s when the Why Are You almost got her, their eyes so big all around her glowing in the dark and swirling while the bottom of her feet curled up at me on those baby legs. \u201cEsta\u2026\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cDon\u2019t touch my sister. Not now, not ever.\u201d I pulled back the foot panel and pushed the big red button that Mother said not to push and guess what?\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nBoosted Emily.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI lifted her to her feet and pointed her head at the gate then I had to run to catch up plus also the Why Are You were touching me with tingly tendrils which made me run faster and forget my legs were rubbery.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nEmily bounced off the wall at the end of hall like a ball of sunlight. I scooped her up and her little legs hammered the breath from my belly.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nWe slid to a stop in the lab and a big door thudded closed behind us. That\u2019s when I saw Puggle. His skin was gray and his suit hanging in shreds where most of his spines were gone. He must\u2019ve used his Anna Galactic Shock mode again. \u201cYou made it\u2026 just in time. I couldn\u2019t hold them off\u2026 any longer.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI squinted at that hedgehog. \u201cHold who off?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cThe YRU. I\u2019ve been compartmentalized\u2026 they got to Foster\u2026 sequestered the rest of us\u2026 I\u2019m all that\u2019s left.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI shook my head \u2018cause he wasn\u2019t making sense. Maybe he needed a new body. The line of Puggle machines were still there, glowing green in the darkened room. I just needed the powder Foster had used to make them grow faster.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cEsther. Listen to me. I\u2019m your Father.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nPoor Puggle. \u201cDon\u2019t worry. I\u2019ll grow you a new body with a new brain then you won\u2019t be so muddle-minded \u2018cause Daddy is over there.\u201d I pointed to the row of Daddy bodies.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nPuggle shook his head. \u201cWe\u2019re all your Father. Me, Foster and Daddy. We\u2019re transhuman. We can have more than one body, more than one consciousness, but all within the same mind.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cSo you took Puggle\u2019s body?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nPuggle closed his eyes. \u201cPuggle has always been me. I wanted\u2026 to spend as much time with you as I could. The other transhumans don\u2019t understand what they\u2019ve lost. They say you\u2019re too expensive, a waste of resources. I tried to convince them. Let them watch you, get to know you\u2026 through Mr. Peepers. I\u2019m sorry Esther. My pride made me believe I could change the world\u2026 now I\u2019m nothing and I\u2019ve put you in such danger\u2026\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI was only half listening \u2018cause that powder stuff wasn\u2019t anywhere. I did find a funny hat like Mother wore when she was virtualized but then there was a big crash \u2018cause Emily was still boosted and running plus also not looking where she was going but instead going where she was looking which means one of the Foster tanks got tipped over. Babies love looking at dragons I think.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nPuggle opened one eye and looked at that baby who was slipping and sliding on the green goo now. \u201cYou\u2019re going to need that suit, Esther. It\u2019s the only one left.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhat\u2019s Emily going to wear? Does she have a built-in suit like Foster?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nPuggle shook his head. \u201cI\u2019ll take care of Emily.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI squinted at that hedgehog \u2018cause he couldn\u2019t even keep his eyes open. Sometimes adults think we\u2019re not too smart. I crossed my arms. \u201cEmily needs to get to the habitat so she can grow up to be a big girl like me. She needs the suit for that.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cEsther\u2026 this body is all I have left. It will die soon and when it does\u2026 I need to know you\u2019ll be all right.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cThen help me.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cHelp you? How?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI pointed to the Foster body. \u201cPut me in that. Its suit is built in.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nPuggle shook his head again. \u201cEsther\u2026\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI put the funny hat on my head and took a big breath. \u201cI know, you have to virtualize me first.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<hr>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nBreathing\u2026 breathing\u2026 breathing\u2026 will it hurt? Thinking\u2026 breathing\u2026 breathing\u2026 breathing\u2026 will I end up like Mother, just a face on the wall? Thinking\u2026 breathing\u2026 breathing\u2026 my tummy\u2019s all tingly. Do dragons have tummies? Of course they do, Foster ate my sammich. I wish I had a sammich. I don\u2019t even have the Pink Peony juice and I\u2019m hungry and my wings are itchy\u2026\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nWings?\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI opened my eyes which was weird \u2018cause I had an extra set of eyelids plus also Puggle was looking at me close up.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI\u2019m sorry it came to this Esther, but\u2026 you taught me how to be human so I know you\u2019ll stay human\u2026 no matter what body you\u2019re in. I love you\u2026\u201d His eyes closed.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nSomehow I knew they\u2019d never open again. \u201cPuggle\u2026 Daddy?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cGo. Time\u2019s short. Watch out for Foster. Dragons can be dangerous\u2026\u201d Puggle let out a sigh and was still.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cEsta? Bom-bee?\u201d Emily was poking at a girl laying on the floor with a funny hat and only underwear.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI closed my eyes \u2018cause my head felt wobbly from all the sad inside it. \u201cCome on Emily. Time to go.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nEmily looked \u2018spicious at me and folded her arms. \u201cBooty.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cBooty,\u201d I agreed \u2018cause the walls had eyes on them now. The Why Are You. I slither-slid to Emily and tried to pick her up but my front leg-arms were too short and I was too small and Emily was squealing. Plus also that baby was slippery with green goo.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nSo was the floor. I gripped my claws to stop sliding, then had an idea. I pushed Emily. She slid like butter on a hot plate. We picked up speed.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nBehind us glass shattered. The eyes were on the machines now. But bad news for the Why Are You, more goo made my job more easier.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI ran ahead of Emily and pushed the elevator button. The doors slid apart and she slid in and I punched the \u201cS\u201d.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nEyes whirled everywhere behind us, eating everything they touched, the walls, the machines, even the goo going up into more eyes that swirled into one honking eye staring straight at us\u2014\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nEmily pointed right at it. \u201cBooty!\u201d I hugged that baby.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe elevator doors closed.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nLouis D Whewee! Now we just had to get to that ship and fly to the habitat \u2018cept I had no idea where that was or how to fly a spaceship\u2026 just look at all the controls. There are some for thrust and some for attitude\u2026\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI bet Mother wished I had attitude controls.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI do, but unlike spaceships, you don\u2019t come with a user guide.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cMother? Where are you?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nPuggle downloaded a bit of me into this Foster body before you were virtualized. Esther, sorry about before\u2026 on the wall\u2026 I wasn\u2019t myself all swirled in with the YRU. And I\u2019m sorry you had to be virtualized but you\u2019ll always be my brave, smart girl\u2026\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nSomehow we figured out a way to hug in there. It may have been virtual but\u2026\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nIt was the best hug ever.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nCan I see my baby? Is she OK?\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI was still hugging Emily on the outside too but she was getting squirmy again looking up at me with saucer eyes. \u201cDon\u2019t be scared Emily. It\u2019s me, Esther. And guess what? Great news! Mother\u2019s in here too.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cEsta? Mama?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI let Mother take over \u2018cause I wanted to look at that spaceship user guide some more \u2018cept as soon as I started learning \u2018bout life support\u2014\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nBing! The elevator doors opened. Freddie U Ready? \u2018cause that big eye was looking right at us \u2018cept it was all red and on Jupiter but somehow that didn\u2019t make me feel any safer. Mother put Emily down and together we held her hand and walked onto the surface.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThat\u2019s when I saw Foster. He didn\u2019t look too good with Puggle spines hanging off him, one eye squeezed shut and wings all tattered but he was still bigger than me. I guess my dragon body hadn\u2019t grown full size before Emily knocked over its tank of goo. Plus also he was between us and the ship.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nFoster\u2019s other eye was glaring at us and he rose up on his hind legs so that Jupiter\u2019s eye glared over his shoulder too. \u201cWe need you to tell us the coordinates to the habitat. Puggle was most uncooperative about that.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nCoordinates? A picture appeared behind my eyes. Eight boxes stacked into one big box with balls inside. Little balls and one big one that looked like Jupiter that rolled in circles. A string stretched from one little ball to a teeny tiny one. A map\u2026 to the habitat. And Foster was trying to take it. Why? \u201cPuggle said you are Daddy too so why are you acting like the Why Are you?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWe\u2019re all part of something much bigger. You\u2019re part of us now too. You\u2019re beyond human. Transhuman. We have no need for inefficient biological bodies. We left them behind centuries ago.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cBut your father felt he could horde obscene resources for his own personal\u2026\u201d Foster chewed the next word then spat, \u201cgarden. Meanwhile, trillions of citizens from Ganymede suffer in low resolution\u2026\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nFoster blabbled on but I was noticing something else. Not really there but I could see it anyway, glowing lines from Foster\u2019s head that swirled away in every direction, but most seemed to come from Jupiter\u2019s eye.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nAugmented reality. You\u2019re seeing the YRU\u2019s data flows. They\u2019re controlling Foster. Mother seemed sad. Just a matter of time before they get us too.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cNo they won\u2019t.\u201d I raised a clenched claw and stood up straight. \u201cWhy are you?\u201d I pointed right at Foster and took a step forward. \u201cI know why I am.\u201d I took another step. Emily looked up at me and the suit stepped her forward also. \u201cI am \u2018cause Daddy and Mother loved me. I am \u2018cause Puggle died to save me. I am \u2018cause I\u2019d die to save Emily.\u201d I was right up to Foster now and I poked him in on his scaly chest. \u201cWhy are you?\u201d I poked every word. \u201cWhy are there a godzillion of you? Thinking the same thoughts over and over. Why?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nFoster blinked his one eye in that weird lizard way then he nodded. He closed his eye and clenched his claws. The glowy lines to his head winked out, one by one. \u201cGo.\u201d His voice was tight. \u201cI can only hold them off a few seconds.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI tugged Emily\u2019s hand and we ran to the ship. We paused at the top of the ramp. Foster opened his one eye. \u201cThank you, Esther. I remember why I am now.\u201d Then eyes swirled out of the elevator and covered him up. Nothing was left when they swirled on toward us. I pushed a button and the ramp slid into the ship.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nEven with the extra lids, lizard eyes can get watery and blurry plus also snot bubbles out of their snout.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u2018Cause Foster was the last bit of Daddy, that\u2019s why.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe ship\u2019s door closed. I fired the thrusters.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<hr>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nIt\u2019s a small habitat, not like the one we had but that\u2019s OK. You see that sun up there? Daddy loved us so much he painted it on the sky so you could grow up. But guess what? Even better news \u2018cause Mother lives there now. She keeps us warm and safe.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nGood morning, children.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nAnd I\u2019m here to keep you safe too \u2018cause the world does need more babies. The Why Are You don\u2019t understand, but don\u2019t worry \u2018bout them. They\u2019re not so smart. They think food chains have tops, but they don\u2019t \u2018cause there\u2019s more to life than eating. That\u2019s what Daddy was trying to teach me I think.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nAnd don\u2019t worry \u2018bout me either \u2018cause I found my own tank here and can grow any body I want kinda like the fooderator \u2018cept I don\u2019t even have to spell correctly \u2018cause I control it with my mind.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nSo see? Being transhuman isn\u2019t so bad even if it comes with its own headaches. It\u2019s a dangerous world out there full of meme storms and q-tangle outages and other transhuman words I need to know now. But we\u2019ll be OK, long as I \u2018member the human part, long as I \u2018member why I am.\n<\/p>\n<hr>\n<p><mbp:pagebreak><br \/>\n<a name=\"window\"><\/a><\/p>\n<h1 class=\"western\" style=\"font-weight: normal; page-break-before: always\" lang=\"zxx\" align=\"CENTER\">\n<font face=\"Times New Roman, serif\"><font size=\"6\">The Girl in the Glass Block Window<\/font><\/font><\/h1>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nBy Jamie Lackey<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nMy grandfather shoved me into the basement and locked the door behind me.  The cold, damp smell wrapped around me, and thin sunlight slipped in through glass block windows set high into the walls.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe didn&#8217;t like having me underfoot, so I spent a lot of time in the basement.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nIn the summer, I could sit on stairs and read.  But it was late January, and too cold to be still, even wrapped in the cedar-scented wool blanket that I&#8217;d stolen from the dusty room where he stored the other things that my mother had left behind.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI jogged around the rotting workbench, hugging the blanket tight.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nBetween one step and another, I saw her, fragmented into a thousand pieces by the panes inside the glass blocks.  A girl, older than me, with long black hair and shadowed eyes.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI dragged a broken chair over to the wall and balanced on it, face even with the window.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe stared back at me from a hundred angles, her face twisted into a plea for help.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI fell off the chair.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<hr>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe was always there, after that.  Maybe she&#8217;d always been there, waiting for someone to see her.  But I&#8217;d seen horror movies, and I knew that I couldn&#8217;t trust her.  She probably wanted to steal my body.  She couldn&#8217;t have a body herself, trapped inside that window.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nStill, it was hard to face her.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<hr>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI snuck into the closed room and stripped the sheets off of the bed.  I pulled the quilt back up over the bare mattress and smoothed it out.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI pictured my mother&#8217;s hand, smoothing the same spot.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe sheets made serviceable curtains.  The basement was darker, but I felt better with the windows covered.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<hr>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI dreamed that my mother came back for me, but she had the girl from the window&#8217;s eyes.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<hr>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nTime slipped by.  My grandfather sent me to the basement anytime he noticed me, so I made myself quiet and small.  I didn&#8217;t try to make friends&#8211;it didn&#8217;t seem worth the effort.  And trusting people had never worked out for me.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI ran away on my 15th birthday.  I took the wool blanket and $400 that my grandfather had hidden in a pickle jar.  I hid in the woods for a week and lived on food I bought in the gas station.  I should have gone to the city, should have had a destination.  My mother knew where she was going when she left.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nBut I didn&#8217;t have anywhere to go, so I slept under the stars and felt giddy with freedom.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI was standing next to the Hostess rack, trying to decide what snack cake I wanted for breakfast, when a friendly voice said, &#8220;I imagine there&#8217;s someone looking for you, honey.&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI bolted, but the cops were already outside.  They put me into the back of their car, and I wept all the way back to my grandfather&#8217;s house.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe pushed me straight into the basement.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI tore the curtains down and stared at the girl in the window.  She hadn&#8217;t aged&#8211;hadn&#8217;t changed at all since I&#8217;d covered her up.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n&#8220;If you want my life, you can have it,&#8221; I said.  She pressed a distorted hand to a hundred surfaces inside the glass block.  Her dark eyes glittered like stars.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nMy grandfather had a battered set of golf clubs in one corner, and I swung one at the window.  The club bounced back, leaving a single white chip in the middle of the center block.  I swung again with a cry of frustrated rage.  The window cracked, a splintered spider web that spread across the panes.  I waited for the girl to flow into me, to take over my body and thrust me out.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nNothing happened.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI stared at the window, at each place where I&#8217;d seen her pleading face and bottomless eyes.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe was gone.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe was free.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nAnd I had freed her.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI slumped beneath the broken window and cried.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe next day, I saw a glimpse of her, reflected in Tina Thompson&#8217;s glasses.  Maybe&#8211;maybe I could try trusting someone.  What else did I have to lose?\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nI met Tina&#8217;s eyes and smiled.  &#8220;Hey.  Did you do the homework?  What did you get for number 4?&#8221;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n She smiled back, and told me.\n<\/p>\n<hr>\n<p><mbp:pagebreak><br \/>\n<a name=\"marinovic\"><\/a><\/p>\n<h1 class=\"western\" style=\"font-weight: normal; page-break-before: always\" lang=\"zxx\" align=\"CENTER\">\n<font face=\"Times New Roman, serif\"><font size=\"6\">Nina Marinovic Does Not Exist<\/font><\/font><\/h1>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nBy Zoe Thomas<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nIn the end, she ate the paper, its shiny, slightly furry surface sticking to the roof of her mouth and making her gag. Her husband laughed when he found out, but it was something she had to do. She didn\u2019t trust the power it had over her, and the only way to break that power was to break it up with her teeth. It sat in her stomach, making her queasy, but through the dizziness and chills that followed she was content. She had finally finished it.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<hr>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nNina wished she had worn more clothes at the border point. Her children resembled giant balls, their puffed-up coats bulging around them. She was shivering through her jeans, and her scarf offered little comfort. Her husband David\u2019s face was set like concrete, but she could see him shaking in his leather jacket.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cIt\u2019s ridiculous,\u201d he said, for lack of anything to do but complain. \u201cI remember when they\u2019d let you in with just a passport.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cAt least they\u2019re letting us through.\u201d She took out the envelope containing her documents and thumbed through it for the fifth time. She ran through all the explanations she could possibly give if the guard questioned those papers: excuses for everything from incorrect orthography to the variation in color between her and her husband\u2019s work permits.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cNext!\u201d The guard\u2019s order rattled through the loudspeaker, and David jumped. He took Lara and Petra in hand and walked, with only a little hesitation, up to the booth. They\u2019d registered the children on his papers, and so he was the one who had to explain the situation to the guards. At the time, he\u2019d insisted on it\u2013he was the one who\u2019d travelled through this very checkpoint several times, back in better days. Now, Nina was frantic with anxiety, and she squinted towards her family and their conversation with an unimpressed officer. After a couple of minutes, the officer gave them all back their passports and other papers, and they set off towards the exit.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nIt was her turn, and she stepped forward feeling the crescendo of blood in her body, rising in fear. When she reached the booth, she saw that the officer\u2019s eyes were a jaundiced yellow, though the rest of his face was pale and papery. She placed all her papers on the wooden surface, and he took them from her. She watched his eyes flicking through her passport, work pass, and entry permit.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe collected her papers together, stamped her passport, and handed them back to her, along with the card that proclaimed her to be a temporary resident with the right to work.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cThank you,\u201d she whispered. The officer ignored her as she stuffed her papers into her handbag and walked towards the rest of her family.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<hr>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nFor a little while, nothing strange happened. Then Nina tried to go to work.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe had obtained a job before they had come, at Saint Anthony of Padua Gymnasium. She would replace the school\u2019s former French teacher, who had disappeared one day in mysterious circumstances, according to the student who shown her to the principal\u2019s office. Nina asked what these circumstances might be, and was told that the most popular theories were elopement, involvement in a cult, and selling her soul to the devil. She felt rather less enthused about her new job, but kept on walking, her shoes clattering on the polished floor.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nWhen she entered the office, the principal\u2013Dr. Lisa Amstutz, the plaque on her desk said\u2013shook her hand, and Nina introduced herself, tripping a little over a language she knew more as an intellectual exercise than a living thing.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cOf course, since you are a foreigner, I need to see your residency card,\u201d Dr. Amstutz said. Nina pulled her card out of her purse and handed it over. It was the first time she had needed to use it.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nDr. Amstutz frowned, and stared at the card for too long to be reading it.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhat is wrong?\u201d Nina started forward in her seat.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cThis says you\u2019re not Nina Marinovic.\u201d She handed it back, and Nina saw that the name printed in black ink was NIKA MARINOVIC. She closed her eyes and opened them in the hope that the letters would change while she wasn\u2019t looking, but they remained as before.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cThere must have been a mistake,\u201d she said. \u201cI really am Nina Marinovic\u2013this card just has an error\u2014\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u201d Dr. Amstutz rose from her chair and gestured towards the door. \u201cWe can\u2019t have someone teaching here if they\u2019re not who their documents say they are.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI have a passport from my country\u2013won\u2019t that do?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cNot if you don\u2019t have the right to work.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cIf you give me time, maybe I can get new papers. It\u2019s a mistake.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI don\u2019t have time.\u201d Over the top of her glasses, Dr. Amstutz regarded her the way one regarded a criminal\u2019s photo in the newspaper.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nNina felt hot and embarrassed, and gave up the fight in favor of scuttling away. \u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d she said before closing the door.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<hr>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nDavid greeted her with pre-emptive congratulations, and subsided into silence when she told him that she hadn\u2019t got the job. She didn\u2019t tell him the reason for her failure; he would only have exploded in anger and marched down to the department of immigration to berate any hapless clerk he could find, and she didn\u2019t want that kind of attention drawn to the mistake. Seeing her name written as <em>Nika<\/em> rather than <em>Nina<\/em> had made her feel cold and queasy, as if she were about to come down with flu, and it seemed prudent to ignore this as much as possible. If no one but her knew about it, maybe the letters would rearrange themselves in the night and she could go about her life as Nina Marinovic. She was sure that her residency card had borne her real name when it had been freshly printed for her at the border, and she half-wondered if the letters had changed without her noticing. Perhaps, if they had done so the first time, they would again.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe said nothing to the girls. Lara had always been a nervous child, peering out at the world from behind a door, and didn\u2019t need anything else to worry about. Petra wasn\u2019t a worrier, but she clung to Lara like a limpet and would have told her sister the bad news within seconds. So Nina smiled and listened to their stories and did nothing to indicate that moving all this way had not been for the best.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThis would have been enough if she hadn\u2019t underestimated her husband. David accepted her explanation of the school having filled their vacancy with the principal\u2019s cousin\u2019s daughter, and laughed dutifully when Nina made a weak joke about how they thought they\u2019d escaped nepotism to arrive in a country where it was just the same. When they slumped on the sofa after the girls had fallen asleep and let a poorly-subtitled American sitcom wash over them, he coughed to announce that he was about to say something she should pay attention to.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWas the teaching job really filled by someone else?\u201d he asked her, eyes still on the TV. He sounded disinterested, but she knew he wanted a real answer.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhy would you ask?\u201d she said, playing for time.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe muted the television. \u201cWhen you told us, you didn\u2019t look like some principal\u2019s cousin had taken away your job. I remember when Marija got the understudy job instead of you because she\u2019d been the nanny to the director\u2019s kids, and you came home and kicked the fridge. You would have been more angry if something like that had happened today.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI don\u2019t remember kicking the fridge.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cTrust me, I remember.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nNina watched the blonde girl on screen widen her eyes in shock. She wondered if the overacting was also meant to be comical. Years ago, her teacher had played them scenes from the film adaptation of the book they were studying, which had been made back in the 1920s with actors who were used to the stage. They had pranced around onscreen, every movement pitched for a theatre stage. Even their faces had been made up for different lights: caked with makeup like a body on a mortician\u2019s slab, with eyes outlined in black and scars done in liner. All the other students had shrieked with laughter, but Nina had sat there and watched those long-dead actors do their best to perform in this intimate stage where the audience was close enough to see the greasepaint sliding off their skin.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cPromise that you won\u2019t try to do something about it?\u201d she said.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhy would I do that? Did something bad happen?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe shook her head. \u201cNot bad, but strange. She asked me for my residency card, the principal, you know, because it has the right to work stamp and my name on it so of course she had to check who I was, and, well.\u201d She saw David\u2019s look of confusion. \u201cWell, it doesn\u2019t have my name on it.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhat? You\u2019re telling me you have the wrong card?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cNo, no, it\u2019s not the wrong card, it\u2019s my name apart from one letter. Nika, not Nina. There must have been some kind of mistake.\u201d He was on his feet now, and she motioned him to sit back down; it wasn\u2019t worth getting so angry about.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe sat back, and then she saw his eyes narrow as he let out a soft, \u201cOh.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhat?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cThere was a phone call today asking for a Ms. Nika Marinovic. I told them no one called that lived here; I thought they were cold-callers who\u2019d got your name wrong. But maybe they knew. They were calling from a theatre, but I didn\u2019t catch which one. The line was bad.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cA theatre?\u201d She watched the blonde girl on the screen, now joined by a young man who seemed to be her boyfriend. The subtitles had started trailing several seconds behind the image, so it was hard to tell. \u201cI haven\u2019t auditioned in years.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cGo to the immigration office tomorrow. They can sort it out for you.\u201d He squinted at the subtitles, trying to make sense of them.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<hr>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe immigration office could not help her. They had no record of a Nina Marinovic, and when Nina waved her passport around to prove who she was the woman behind the counter asked if she wanted to be deported for attempting to work without a residence permit. Nina retreated, and crossed the square to the bank to open an account. If she could only be Nika Marinovic, then she would have to be paid as Nika Marinovic. They only required her ID, for which her faulty residence permit was enough, and the tenancy agreement, which proved to be an issue due to being signed in David\u2019s name, but the bank teller relented after Nina pointed out that there couldn\u2019t be two Marinovic families in this small city. He signed off on her application, while telling her that he wouldn\u2019t normally do this. The operation was so furtive that Nina left feeling like she\u2019d opened a bank account with the local mafia.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nNone of the documents she had brought with her from home would work in their new country. The only proof that really mattered was the residence card with the wrong name on it, and all the other proof of her life\u2013her birth certificate and marriage certificate and bank statements and doctoral certificate\u2013did not matter here. To everyone except her family, she was Nika Marinovic, and no one could vouch for her existence before she had crossed the border. Since her failure at the gymnasium, she had applied for dozens of jobs teaching French or German or Latin, but she was always rejected when she could not provide references that described the same person she was on her residence permit. She could be Nika, with a valid permit that guaranteed her right to work and no other record of her existence, or she could be Nina, without a permit at all but decades of existence and the paperwork to prove it.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cNo one knows, and no one cares, about Nina Marinovic,\u201d she said as she came in one day, wiping ice slush from her boots.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWho?\u201d David said. She stared at him, tasting the sour chill of the outside air.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cMe,\u201d she said, not knowing what else to say.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHis face relaxed. \u201cI was just joking. Sorry\u2013I should have thought it might hit too close.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe rest of his face stayed still as he smiled, and Nina didn\u2019t trust what he said. But he was working so hard and was so overwhelmed, having to provide their full income and coming home exhausted from speaking a strange language all day. If he sometimes looked at her in confusion and hesitated half a second before saying her name, that was just stress. She prided herself on her forward momentum; she hadn\u2019t looked back when they had left their home forever and caught the bus to a new country. She would never look back. She never saw that look of puzzlement on Petra\u2019s face, and Lara always looked slightly confused\u2013she always had, Nina thought.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe only offers of work she ever got weren\u2019t for her at all. They were all from theatre companies who called asking for Nika Marinovic with offers of exciting new opportunities and breakout roles. She never called them back, and after a while she learnt not to pick up the phone, but let them leave messages that she deleted without listening to.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThey had almost settled into a routine, where David dropped the children off at school on his way to work at the railway company and Nina lay on the sofa all day and felt like she was slowly decomposing, when one day during her daily trip to the library to look at her email and rifle through the shelves for books she hadn\u2019t read yet, she saw an email that she had been hoping to receive for days.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nNina opened it and thought it was a joke. It was from her PhD supervisor, whom she\u2019d written to asking if he would mind acting as a reference and changing her name just a little in his recommendation, but it was all wrong. She closed the email and stared at the screen, and then clicked on it again. It still bore the same message.\n<\/p>\n<p><em><br \/>\nDear Mrs. Marinovic,<\/p>\n<p>There must have been some mistake. I have never taught a \u201cNina Marinovic\u201d, and in any case I would never willingly collude in attempted identity fraud. Do not contact me again.<\/p>\n<p>Yours sincerely,<br \/>\nProf. Josip Novak<br \/><\/em>\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHer throat spasmed, and she had to swallow the bitter bile that rose up in her mouth. She left the library and walked home as fast as she could, ignoring the ache that built up in her calves as she marched through the street. When she got back, among the small cluster of boxes in the living room she found the box that contained all the material from her PhD years. Crushed by her hardback thesis, there was a greetings card with CONGRATULATIONS! splashed across the front in garish colors. Inside there was a short message in a sprawling hand:\n<\/p>\n<p><em>Dear Nina,<\/p>\n<p>Congratulations on successfully defending your thesis! It\u2019s been a pleasure supervising you.<\/p>\n<p>Best wishes for the future,<br \/>\nJosip N<\/em><\/p>\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe knew she had not made a mistake. He still taught at the same university, in the same faculty, and whatever he said now he had once taught a Nina Marinovic. Before, she would have assumed it was a joke or a miscommunication, but now she had a residency card with a wrong name on it and no way to be Nina instead of Nika, and she did not believe the mundane explanation.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe phoned her sister, because it was still several hours before David would come home with the children, and after Leona had described her annoying new co-worker in detail Nina told her about the letter from her old supervisor.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI don\u2019t think he was confused. He seemed angry\u2013said I was attempting identity fraud\u2013and surely you would check whether you\u2019d supervised someone with that name even if you disapproved of them.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWho knows?\u201d Leona\u2019s voice sounded small and far away, like she was calling from the bottom of the ocean. \u201cAcademics sometimes don\u2019t function well in the real world. You said he was always losing his keys and conference notes and things like that.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI don\u2019t think he would do something like this, though. He seemed to care about his students. I can\u2019t believe he\u2019d just forget about me and write me off.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cIt sounds weird but it\u2019s probably just some mix-up. Don\u2019t worry about it. I have to go now, but give my love to your mother.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nNina held the phone away from her ear and stared at it. She put it back so she could speak. \u201cWe have the same mother, Leona.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe dial tone whined, and Nina put the phone back in its cradle.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<hr>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nFor the rest of the afternoon, she read the book she\u2019d been trudging through, until she heard the clatter of a key in the lock and got up to greet her family.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cYou\u2019re back! I had such a strange phone call with Leona\u2013I\u2019ve felt ever so odd since then. Did you have a good day?\u201d She smiled, but David didn\u2019t return her smile and screwed up his eyes in puzzlement.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWho are you?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHer stomach dropped out of her.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI\u2019m Nina. I\u2019m your wife.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cNo, you\u2019re not,\u201d he said, tightening his grip on the children\u2019s hands. \u201cWhat are you doing in my house?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nNina bent down, imploring her daughter to recognize her. \u201cLara, give Mama a kiss.\u201d Lara shrank away from her, burying her face in her father\u2019s side. She turned towards Petra, who looked ready to cry at the sight of her.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cStop this,\u201d she said. \u201cIt isn\u2019t funny.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nDavid stared at her, furious. \u201cI\u2019m not joking, and I\u2019ve never met you. Now get out of my house before I call the police!\u201d His voice rose to a yell by the end of the sentence, and the girls started crying. Nina, head spinning, had just enough sense to pick up her handbag before her feet took her out of the front door, which was slammed behind her.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe world blurred and distorted in her eyes as she walked towards the main street, finding her way out of habit rather than any real awareness of her surroundings. When she came to, she was standing opposite a caf\u00e9 with pastel-blue awning, and to its right a sign pointed the way to the train station.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe took it as a sign, and knew what she had to do. She purchased a ticket to her destination and spent the journey trying to concentrate on the countryside flowing past the window and not on the anger on David\u2019s face. When the train arrived at its final stop, she got off and bought a map in the station before setting off into the town. It took half an hour through a bleak town centre that gave way to sprawling industrial estates before she reached the border. She saw the high arches that crossed the road first, glowing white in the cold afternoon sun. To her right was the building where she\u2019d collected her documents only three months ago. She headed towards it.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nIn the booth where members of the public could talk to them, that day\u2019s officer sat flipping through a gardening magazine. She went up to him and rapped on the glass.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cExcuse me? I\u2019m here looking for one of the officers who works here?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe didn\u2019t take his eyes off the magazine. \u201cName?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI\u2019m not sure. He was pale and had yellow eyes.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe snorted, and put his magazine down. \u201cOh, I know who that is. I\u2019ll be back in a moment.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nNina waited for around five minutes, feeling increasingly small under so much concrete bearing down on her. It was a relief when she heard footsteps announcing the yellow-eyed man who had issued her documents.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe said nothing, and after several seconds of silence she spoke.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cYou gave me the wrong papers. I\u2019m not Nika Marinovic.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cBut you could be.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cNo, I couldn\u2019t\u2013I have no proof that I existed more than three months ago and I can\u2019t get a job and theatre companies keep calling my house and my own family didn\u2019t know who I was today, so I don\u2019t know what you did but you had better take it all back.\u201d She crossed her arms in defense. \u201cOr I\u2019ll stay here until you do.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWe could have you thrown out for doing that.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI don\u2019t care. I\u2019ve had enough and I\u2019m taking a stand.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThat got his attention. He strode towards her, and she backed away until she left the shadow of the arches and stepped into the sunlight.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cYou stupid girl,\u201d he said. \u201cYou came all the way here but you don\u2019t understand what I did for you? What I gave you?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhat you gave me was a misspelt name and everyone forgetting who I am!\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cYou\u2019re looking at this the wrong way.\u201d He fell into the sales pitch, seeming much calmer now that he could persuade her. \u201cYou came here for what\u2013to teach French to giggling schoolgirls? You used to have dreams. As Nina Marinovic you could only ever stagnate and decay\u2013I have given you a new life. Do you realize how rare that is? As Nika Marinovic you could be the toast of the stage; I certainly arranged for enough casting directors to contact you, and if you\u2019d given any of them a chance you could be playing Grusha Vashnadze right now instead of haranguing me.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe snorted. \u201cGrusha Vashnadze? I\u2019m thirty-five, I haven\u2019t acted since university, and in the last audition I went to I cried.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cAnd that is precisely what I was trying to correct, along with your torpid lack of ambition.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhat about my family? The people I used to know? Are they dragging me down along with my torpid lack of ambition?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWe all have to make little sacrifices.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe opened her mouth to protest, but he interrupted her before she could speak.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI gave you a new name, a new life. I gave you the chance to be great, and you dare to come here and complain? Do you want to crawl back to your life as Nina Marinovic\u2013mother, wife, schoolteacher\u2013when you could have everything you ever wanted?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nNina\u2019s face burned with sweat and fear. She remembered the old actors in the black-and-white films, buried under stage makeup for roles they didn\u2019t yet know how to play.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI don\u2019t want a new life where my family and my friends don\u2019t recognize me. I can\u2019t throw away everything for some dream life you want me to have. I want to be Nina and I always will be.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cAnd your dreams?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhen I get back to the city, I\u2019ll look for casting calls and I\u2019ll go to auditions\u2013as Nina, who has a history back in the country I come from and people who love her. But I\u2019ll never answer anything as Nika.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe sucked his lips into a disapproving straight line. \u201cThat\u2019s a stupid decision.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cYou\u2019re some kind of twisted wish-granter, aren\u2019t you? This is my wish.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe smiled, broad enough to show his teeth. \u201cI\u2019m a low-level public servant who takes an interest in some of the wretched people I encounter.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nNina took her residency card out of her pocket, and tapped one finger on the printed name that had caused her so much trouble. \u201cI knew this wasn\u2019t a mistake. If I destroy it, does this all end?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe shook his head. \u201cDon\u2019t destroy it. I will make sure it shows your real name by the time you get back to your city. But I will give you something else first.\u201d He disappeared into the building, and Nina was about to lose patience and walk back to the train station when he appeared with a brown envelope. \u201cJust in case you change your mind.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe took it from him. \u201cThank you. I won\u2019t.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<hr>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nFor the last few days she had hugged David and the children more than usual, wanting to hold onto them forever. One of David\u2019s work colleagues had a brother who was a theatre director and was casting The House of Bernarda Alba, and he\u2019d suggested that she come to the auditions next week. Life was good; except that sometimes when David looked at her he seemed puzzled, and unable to work out what she was doing there. One evening, over late-night wine after the children had been put to bed, she asked him the reason for his confusion.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cIt\u2019s odd,\u201d he said, swirling the wine around the glass. \u201cMostly I see you and think, ah yes, there is my lovely wife\u2013\u201d Nina snorted and he laughed at her reaction\u2013\u201cbut occasionally I look at you and for a second, I don\u2019t know\u2013I can\u2019t remember\u2013who you are. I think, is she supposed to be here? Is that woman allowed in my home?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nNina felt despair settle on her like a coat. She didn\u2019t want to go through this again, not now. Since coming back, she had set her papers in order, and had everything possible to prove she was a real person. Despite that, in a filing cabinet upstairs lay the brown envelope she had brought back from her journey to the border. It had seemed harmless enough, but beneath its smooth brown surface was something strange and corrosive that was eating through her real identity and her real life. When she pulled it out of the drawer, she held it between finger and thumb. Though she would never admit it, it frightened her.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe had never opened the envelope, but she ripped through the flap and reached inside to find a single piece of thick paper. It was a birth certificate, exactly the same as her own other than the name, which was the one that had started that mess: Nika Marinovic.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<em>Just in case you change your mind,<\/em> he had said.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cOh, I want to kill him,\u201d she said.\n<\/p>\n<hr>\n<p><mbp:pagebreak><br \/>\n<a name=\"wound\"><\/a><\/p>\n<h1 class=\"western\" style=\"font-weight: normal; page-break-before: always\" lang=\"zxx\" align=\"CENTER\">\n<font face=\"Times New Roman, serif\"><font size=\"6\">Open Wound<\/font><\/font><\/h1>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nBy Patrick Doerksen<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nIt is a night in late November. Clo is in her basement suite on the east side of Vancouver, mid-bedtime-routine. In the den the TV is turned to news coverage of the city\u2019s homelessness crisis; she is in the bathroom, listening abstractedly. She hums to herself as she ties her hair back, plucks an eyebrow, removes her earrings. They\u2019re plain hoop earrings she\u2019s been wearing for years\u2014not because she likes them, but because Maggie gave her the original thumb-tack piercings on her tenth birthday and something needs to keep those punctures open.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nAs she brushes her teeth, she becomes conscious of it: a wrongness. The way the mouth feels when there\u2019s corn between the molars, but the wrongness isn\u2019t in her mouth.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nClo thinks again of her tenth birthday. She, Maggie and their mother had been living in a duplex at the time. It was the kind of neighborhood in which dogs barked at night and drunken voices told them to fuck off. Their mother didn\u2019t work much; she\u2019d been in a car accident. She got migraines. Every week they went to the food bank and took what they could get, and when they ran out they ate macaroni. For their birthdays, though, their mother always went out to a confectionary and bought a cupcake, a careful masterpiece of pink and blue icing. Then she stuffed it full of candles.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nClo remembers everything about that day clearly. She remembers sitting eagerly at the dining table, the rain at the windows; remembers the pain radiating from the two points of her earlobes; and she remembers how, slow as a waltz, the Happy Birthday began.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nAt first it was only her mother\u2019s full, high voice. Then Maggie joined with her pubescent quavering. And then, finally, there entered that other throat, that deeper, scratchier throat that made Clo shiver.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nStanding in her bathroom, Clo freezes with the toothbrush in her mouth. Why is she remembering a deep voice?\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe news is still on in the living room; Clo turns it off and concentrates. She sees the memory play out: the song quieting as her mother sets the cupcake in front of her, her blowing out all the candles at once, easily, her looking up and seeing a room full of smoke\u2014and through it, a broad-shouldered figure across the table.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nA man.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nA man wearing a maroon cardigan and holding himself like a spider: motionless, waiting.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nClo almost chokes on her toothpaste.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<hr>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nFor the last three years Clo has helped coordinate the volunteers and settlement mentors at the Immigrant Services Society. She\u2019d started as a mentor herself, liking the idea of welcoming anxious foreigners at airports, explaining public transit, learning greetings in Hindi, Mandarin, Filipino. But the required level of affability and social finesse was beyond her; she was no good at making people feel at home.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThat Monday, she\u2019s barely touched her seat when she sees Jaspreet winging his way towards her.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nSince he started at the office a week ago, he has brought Clo coffee from the machine every morning. Clo doesn\u2019t drink coffee, but she hadn\u2019t refused the first time.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cGood morning, Clothilde.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nAlong with coffee, Jaspreet has also been trying to guess her full name. Clora? Clotille? All he knows for sure is that it isn\u2019t Chloe.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cFirst hoarfrost of the season! Helped a couple from Mumbai other day, wouldn\u2019t want to be them now. Brr.\u201d Jaspreet sets her mug down and gives her a concerned look. \u201cSay, that was rough last week, you doing okay?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI\u2019m fine.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nOn Friday, Clo lost a pile of case notes and for the first time on the job the boss yelled at her. That Jaspreet has remembered this over the weekend causes her to shift in her seat. Before he can say anything more, her phone rings and she seizes it mid-tone. \u201cImmigrant Services.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cThere are raccoons in the house!\u201d screams a voice on the other end. \u201cRaccoons!\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nClo flashes Jaspreet an apologetic look. \u201cGo on,\u201d she says into the receiver.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cThey are in our basement! They have toileted the carpet! They have pulled the\u2014the stuff from the walls!\u201d The woman\u2019s accent is thick, Slavic, Clo thinks, and there is yelling in the background.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cDid you leave a window open?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cYes. Maybe. Please, they have messes everywhere!\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cOkay,\u201d says Clo. \u201cThis happens in Canada. Sometimes.\u201d She pauses, remembering. \u201cWhen I was a kid, a raccoon got under our porch and someone from Animal Control had to coax it out; I can give you their number.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cYes fine.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cShut your basement windows from now on, okay? If you leave them an opening, they will come back inside.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe woman repeats the phrase back to her. <em>If you leave them an opening they will come inside.<\/em>\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nClo freezes.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cHello?\u201d says the woman. \u201cThe number? Hello?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe man hadn\u2019t been from Animal Control. Animal Control sent men in blue vests with nets and trapping kits, not men in wool cardigans.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nClo closes her eyes. In the memory, she can see the man from the shoulders down. He\u2019s in ironed blue jeans and shoes of chestnut leather, stooping, placing a jar of peanut butter on the lawn. His hands are pale; as he stands, they clench and unclench slowly, as though pumping something. He steps back, goes still. An immense patience organizes the scene\u2014a sense of infinite time, infinite waiting. The raccoon pokes its head out from beneath the porch, nose twitching. The man leans forward\u2014\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nSuddenly Clo becomes aware of her office again. The phone has gone dead in her hand, and someone is standing over her.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nJaspreet.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cClo?\u201d he\u2019s saying. \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong? Can I get you some water? Clo?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<hr>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe memories keep coming over the week; the man seems to have been everywhere in the months just after her tenth birthday.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe is behind school yard fences, staring in as she and Maggie fight.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe is in the social worker\u2019s office, watching her with folded hands.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe is at her mother\u2019s funeral, standing over the empty coffin.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nAt times it makes Clo\u2019s heart race with anticipation. She is discovering a great secret about herself: she knows this man, she must. And yet Clo can\u2019t recall his face. It makes her nervous, makes her excitement feel like some sort of trick. No matter how she concentrates, his face seems to be outside her mind.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<hr>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nBy the end of the week, Clo is worried enough to call her sister.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nOnce, she and Maggie had been close\u2014shared a bed, lollipops, secrets. When Clo got lice and their mother wanted to shave her head, unable to afford medicated shampoo, Maggie shaved her own to show that Clo didn\u2019t need to be scared. But that was before her tenth birthday. Before Maggie began to act out, make dangerous friends, tease Clo\u2019s introversion. Now Clo can\u2019t stand that cigarette-raw voice.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThere are twenty minutes left of calling hours at Mission Institute minimum security when Maggie comes on the line.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cJesus, you\u2019ve got bad timing, Sis. I was bluffing my way with a pair of sevens for a pot of, well\u2014\u201d Maggie snorts and declines to say what they are betting on. \u201cSo what\u2019s new? You still seeing that guy with the lip ring?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWe broke up in May. He was too&#8230;\u201d Clo can\u2019t find a way to finish the sentence. \u201cHe wanted to move in with me.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cHow awful.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cListen,\u201d Clo says. \u201cSorry it\u2019s been so long. I called because&#8230; Actually, I need to ask you about that night.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nMaggie\u2019s tone is suddenly wary. \u201cThat night.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cMy tenth birthday,\u201d Clo says, though Maggie knows. \u201cI\u2019m trying to remember something.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cUh-huh.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nClo hesitates. \u201cIt\u2019s dumb, I know, but was somebody else there with us? Visiting I mean. A relative of Mom\u2019s? Maybe you remember&#8230; a guy in a maroon cardigan?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThere is a pause.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cClo, what the hell is this all about?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cJust answer, Maggie.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cMom didn\u2019t have relatives. That\u2019s why we ended up in foster care after that night, dummy.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nSilence.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cOh my God,\u201d says Maggie, sucking her breath in. \u201cYou aren\u2019t over it. You aren\u2019t fucking over it.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cThat\u2019s not what this is.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nMaggie snorts. \u201cYou know why I\u2019m in here, Clo, and you\u2019re out there?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cBecause you assaulted a police offer, for starters.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cBecause I dealt with my shit. Anger, hate\u2014got it all out. You are still holding onto it all; I did what it fucking took.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cThat\u2019s one way of justifying it.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nMaggie gives a deep, put-on sigh. \u201c\u2018Give ye no foothold to the devil,\u2019 Clo.\u201d It\u2019s what their mother used to say, whenever they stole cookies or lied. Maggie is mocking her.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nClo ends the call.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<em>No<\/em>, she thinks. <em>No fucking foothold. <\/em>\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<hr>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nA week later, the man in the cardigan is in memories of her early twenties. Clo remembers him at old waitressing jobs, sitting quietly at corner tables; remembers him at parties she\u2019s otherwise forgotten; remembers him beside her in the theatre.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nIn particular, Clo remembers him at a cafe she had once frequented. He sat by the window, two tables away from her. In this memory, Clo can see his face for the first time.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe looks her age, about twenty-four, twenty-five. His cheeks and brow are pale, the same luminous pearl of his hands, and his skin is so taught that his eyes seem to pop. They look about the cafe, eel-like, as though glancing up from the deep, and Clo gets the sense of a sadness behind them. Framed in the window against the downtown traffic, he looks just the saddest thing in the world. Clo wants to put a hand on his shoulder, to hug him, to look into his eyes.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nIn the memory, she wants him.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<hr>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nClo decides to be strategic. She makes a list:<br \/><Br><\/p>\n<p>1)\tresearch memory\/hallucinations<\/p>\n<p>2)\tfind shrink<br \/>\n<br \/><Br><br \/>\n3)\ttalk to Maggie again<\/p>\n<p>4)\tcheck memories against photos\/diary <\/p>\n<p>A moment later, Clo is digging out a box from the closet under her stairs. Inside are the only mementos she\u2019s kept\u2014pictures, school drawings, old Christmas cards. There is also a grey, sad-looking book with the title, \u201cDon\u2019t You Dare Read This Maggie.\u201d Her grief journal. One of her first counselors had made her keep it.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe opens it at random.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<em>I had the cupcake there. I had it, it was full of candles. In one go I got them all. Why couldn\u2019t I have wished for mom to stay?  <\/em>\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHer ten-year-old script is difficult to read; each letter is stabbed onto the page, as though she had held the pencil in a fist. It\u2019s all rage. There are page-long sentences of her hate of Maggie, her hate of her counselor, her hate of the world. Nothing yet about the man in the cardigan.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<em>People keep saying it will get better. I don\u2019t want it to get better. Even if god makes me the richest person in the world, even if he gives mom back, it\u2019s too late. I want it not to have happened at all. If he\u2019s going to make it right he has to make it right from the beginning. <\/em>\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nClo frowns. This word, \u201cbeginning,\u201d is underlined twice. She remembers doing that. She remembers exactly where she was\u2014one of those generic lobbies outside the counselor\u2019s office with chairs lined against a blank wall, voices sounding from behind doors.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nAt that moment, the irreparability of things had shown itself. Her mother was gone for good, and here she was suffering. More than that: here she would always be. Nothing could change the fact that she was hurting now, and as she grew up, became a woman, became old, far back in the past and getting farther she would still be there, in pain. How she\u2019d wanted to scream.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nBut she hadn\u2019t. Because, just then, she had felt that arm stretch out from nowhere and rest comfortingly on her shoulder.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nA gentle arm, in the sleeve of a wool cardigan the color of russet apples and autumn leaves.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cHello, Clo,\u201d the man had said.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nIt was the voice from her birthday party: deep, full of sand. Clo sat with her grief journal closed on her lap.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI think you are sad, Clo.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nA pause.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI think you are angry.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nIn her basement suite, Clo shuts her eyes. She needs to remember exactly what he said. It is important.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe hears, \u201cI can&#8230;\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nYes, yes, can what? Clo strains.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI can&#8230;\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nIt\u2019s no good, it was too long ago. Clo shuts the journal and feels the pressure of tears just behind her eyes.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<hr>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nIt is late December. Clo smokes two packs a day now. She takes showers that use up all the hot water. And she loses sleep: she wakes up at the edge of the bed, almost falling off, as though her body were making room for somebody. Phone calls from unregistered numbers set her heart beating. Nocturnal scratching at her suite door, which she knows can only be raccoons, makes her think of house-breakers, stalkers, dark things wanting to get inside.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nSomething is happening, Clo knows it in her gut\u2014but none of this seems to count as evidence.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nOn Thursday, when Clo arrives at work the office is buzzing. A major donor has passed away, leaving a substantial legacy fund to the Society, and treasury has just broken the news by offering to buy whatever fancy drinks people want. Jaspreet is going around collecting orders.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cAnd for dear Clover?\u201d He leans against her desk, arms crossed. \u201cA grande latte with caramel drizzle for our office coffee fiend?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cCoffee?\u201d she says, before she realizes who she\u2019s talking to. \u201cI\u2019ve always been more of a tea drinker.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThen she glances at him, mortified.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nJaspreet\u2019s eyebrows shoot up.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI\u2014\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nBut he\u2019s grinning. Suddenly she\u2019s grinning too. He starts laughing, great seal-like bleats that turn heads in their desks, and Clo can\u2019t help it, she joins in. They must laugh a whole minute. It\u2019s the best Clo has felt in a long time, all tension is relaxed, and suddenly she\u2019s embarrassed by the release. She looks down at her desk.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cChai latte it is,\u201d he says.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<hr>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe next day, Jaspreet adapts his morning courtesy: tea waits for Clo on her desk, and there is a note beside the mug. <em>How about a Rumpelstiltskin wager. If I guess your name by the end of the day, you must let me take you to dinner. <\/em>\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nClo sips her tea and considers it.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nIt has been over half a year since she\u2019s been on a date. Her last was with Grey Dawkins, all the way back in May. She hadn\u2019t really known what to feel about Grey; she liked him, and yet she found herself shying away from his advances, as a swimmer does from an underwater shape warbling into view. He\u2019d driven her to a \u201csecret\u201d lake an hour outside the city, where the sun was out and they could lie beside each other on the hot sand. They were so near the water that little waves lapped at their toes, and as Grey rolled on top of her Clo remembers the tickling scratch of his wool cardigan on her bare skin.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nClo frowns. Of course, she\u2019d been misremembering\u2014it was the man. It\u2019d been him on top of her, not Grey.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe remembers how his water-darkened hair came off his forehead and sent droplets onto her cheeks. He was so near. She could see the line in his eyes where the irises ended and the pupils began, and the striation gave the effect of the aquamarine blue rushing into the black pit of his pupil. But all at once she was not paying attention to his eyes, because the two of them were&#8230;\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nkissing.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nClo relaxes her lips, feeling that kiss, then takes another sip of tea. It\u2019s over-steeped now and she gets up to throw the bag away. Halfway to the waste bin, she stops.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cFuck,\u201d she says aloud.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe\u2019d believed it for a moment.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe knew well she\u2019d been with Grey in May, not the man. But she\u2019d sat there, remembering that beach, believing he\u2019d been there. Believing he was real.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nNo\u2014worse.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<em>Wanting him<\/em> to be real.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<hr>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nA minute later, Clo has left a note on Jaspreet\u2019s desk\u2014<em>No help from H<\/em>R\u2014and her day begins to fill up with the ping of new texts.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<em>Clochette?\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nCloud\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nCloelia!\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nCleopatra&#8230;?<\/em>\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nIt is one long string of wrong guesses, and it gives her the giddy sense of evading fire by standing still. At day\u2019s end, as people put on their coats and wish each other good weekends, Jaspreet isn\u2019t even close. He sends her one last desperate text, and Clo finds herself unable to disappoint him.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cEvening, Clorinda,\u201d Jaspreet says when he picks her up from her suite.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nClo is silent most of the drive. She is wearing a knee length skirt and has done her hair to cover her ears and forehead; she couldn\u2019t find her earrings and she feels naked without them.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nJaspreet takes her to a pizzeria owned by a family friend. At first he seems nervous, apologizing several times for his gear shift, which makes a crunching sound like a back breaking. But at dinner he\u2019s relaxed\u2014so relaxed, Clo finds her own posture changing. She\u2019s laughing genuinely, leaning forward into the conversation. Somehow, they get talking about insomnia; it turns out the both of them share the affliction. \u201cI\u2019m an idiot: twenty-eight years old and I still haven\u2019t figured out how to fall asleep!\u201d says Jaspreet, and Clo finds herself describing the visualization exercises a therapist gave her once to get her mind off worry-loops. Imagine a hand trying to slip out from a glove without help. Imagine a hole trying to swallow another hole. Jaspreet slaps his knees laughing, and Clo notices he does not ask about why she\u2019d been seeing a therapist.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nWhen their plates are cleared, they recline in a put-on languor and Jaspreet looks past her, sheepish. \u201cI have a confession,\u201d he says. \u201cI checked with HR about your name.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nClo goes red.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI thought it was really sweet,\u201d he says quickly. \u201cYou pretending. To let me take you here.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe looks down at her napkin.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI didn\u2019t ask them what it was, only what it wasn\u2019t. I just couldn\u2019t accept you were a Clorinda.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cNo? I\u2019m flattered.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI did, however, ask HR about something else. I hope you don\u2019t mind.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe\u2019s grinning now, looking at something behind her. Clo turns. Three employees stand there, one of them holding a cupcake. Before she can say anything, they\u2019ve begun singing Happy Birthday.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nClo\u2019s eyes grow wide. She checks her phone: December Twenty Nine. She\u2019d forgotten.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<em>Happy birthday to you&#8230;<\/em>\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cJaspreet,\u201d she hisses, snapping her head back to him.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<em>Happy birthday to you&#8230;<\/em>\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cJaspreet!\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<em>Happy birthday dear Clorinda&#8230;<\/em>\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe stands, and his face falls; before they can finish the last line, he makes a gesture at the singers and they cease. Jaspreet shoos them back to the kitchen, and the customers who joined in or who just turned to watch go back to their meals.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nJaspreet gets up and touches her hand. \u201cI\u2019m very sorry. Isn\u2019t it your birthday?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cIt is.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nWhen she says nothing more, Jaspreet offers to bring her home.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nA hot glow radiates from Clo\u2019s cheeks the whole drive back; she\u2019s sure he can feel it. She\u2019s kept her napkin from the pizzeria and folds it endlessly in random patterns on her lap. When Jaspreet pulls up to the curb outside her suite, he turns off the engine and gives her a quick glance.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI don\u2019t celebrate my birthday,\u201d she says after a moment.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nJaspreet nods.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cIt\u2019s&#8230; the anniversary of a bad day.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHe looks at her, encouraging her to go on.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe idea sets her heart racing: she could. She could tell Jaspreet about that night; his long face and his patient, equine eyes lean in, and she knows it would be safe.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhatever\u2019s wrong, Clo, I want to know.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI\u2014\u201d she hesitates. \u201cThank you for a nice night; I\u2019m sorry I wrecked it.\u201d And she opens the car door.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<hr>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHow many times has Clo spoken a No, wanting to speak a Yes? A friend once said to her, \u201cYour antisocial behavior is actually a longing for relationship. You want social contact to happen in spite of you, as though that were evidence it\u2019s worth something. That\u2019s messed up.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nMaybe so. Maybe she wants a man without all the fuss of having to seduce him, or however it is supposed to work. Maybe the psychologists are right and she has never learned \u201cattachment.\u201d Maybe she isn\u2019t designed for love and connection; is not, in fact, a person, only a moving, thinking gap shaped like a person.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nMaking tea in her apartment, Clo longs for a warm body, longs until the craving grows specific: she wants the man in the cardigan. She wants to dance with him again.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThey\u2019d danced together recently, she recalls. The rain\u2019s soft paws were at the window, and outside the streets were dark. He\u2019d turned the radio on to The Police. He was so at ease, so in his element; the sort of quality you sense in an old tree. He had an arm resting on her waist, and his chest pivoted away from her. They swayed.\n<\/p>\n<p><em>I\u2019ll be<\/p>\n<p>wrapped around your finger<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ll be<\/p>\n<p>wrapped around your finger<\/em>\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI can make everything right again,\u201d he\u2019d whispered to her. \u201cI can make it all right from the beginning&#8230;\u201d Those words\u2014he had said them to her before, a hundred times; she knew them by heart.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nClo frowns suddenly. The memory feels so intimate, so near, a presence just around some corner in time. Where is it they were dancing?\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHer breath catches\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nIt was her basement suite.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<hr>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cYou have to let me talk to her!\u201d Clo screams at the prison secretary. \u201cIt\u2019s a family emergency!\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nPerhaps it\u2019s the desperation in her voice: a minute later, Maggie is on the other end.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cJesus, Clo. What the hell.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe way that Clo explains it to her, there is something wrong with her memory. A kind of amnesia: she knew a man and now she forgets who he is. She finds herself unable to say the words: an evil man. She finds herself unable to say: I think I am in love with him. She is too embarrassed by it all, by the way she\u2019s been indulging it, nursing it; by the way it all seems to be, when she spells it out for her sister, so much a <em>fantasy<\/em>.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cMaggie,\u201d Clo says. \u201cYou have to help me remember properly.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nMaggie sighs, and the two of them go over the whole nightmare once more\u2014how, after dessert, their mother had gone out for cigarette filters; how she\u2019d winked at them before she shut the door, and Maggie had gone to turn on the porch light for her, since it was dark out; how an hour later, she still hadn\u2019t come back, and Clo had wanted to call the police and Maggie wouldn\u2019t let her, not until another hour had passed; how Maggie had finally made the call, how she had talked so calmly with the operator on the other end, and how Clo had screamed and screamed.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI did?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cYou screamed so much. You wouldn\u2019t stop screaming.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nClo considers. \u201cAnd then?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cWhat more do you want to know? You remember the weeks of searching, the social workers, the counselors, the fake funeral for \u2018closure.\u2019 There wasn\u2019t any man, Clo. I remember it all pretty damn clearly.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cThat\u2019s the thing, Maggie. I do too.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nClo sips her tea; it has gone tepid.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI reread my grief journal the other day,\u201d she says in a whisper. \u201cI hated you for not being angrier, after it happened. I accused you of being glad to be free of Mom. Now you could steal shit and be a brat and do all the things you\u2019d wanted to do before but couldn\u2019t.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cJesus, Clo.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cYou know what I thought? I thought if I stayed mad, stayed hateful, I could make something happen. Make God give her back.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cGod?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nClo laughs; it comes out as a choking sound. \u201cIt was like Mom\u2019s disappearance punched a hole in me, and I thought if I kept the wound open, she could crawl back through. But what if&#8230;\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThere is a long silence.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cListen, Clo. They\u2019re going to cut the line. You need to relax. Take a bath, light a hundred fucking candles, I don\u2019t know. Just relax.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cMaggie, what if&#8230;\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cBye, Clo. And in case you think I\u2019d forgotten, Happy Birthday.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe line goes dead.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<hr>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nFor a long time Clo stands in her kitchen with the cold tea in one hand, the phone in the other. The lights are off. On the landlord\u2019s porch above is a motion-sensing lamp; it\u2019s finicky, even moths trigger it. Clo\u2019s suite is dark enough that whenever it flicks on, it startles the kitchen with a mean electric yellow.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nWhat if something else crawled through?\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nSome monster.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nClo pictures the man in the cardigan. She sees his dark hair, his pale skin, his wide cerulean eyes.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nIf it\u2019s true, though, how would she be able to tell? We are our memories; when those are tampered with, what else do we have to check our identity against? As soon as the monster invades it would be as though he has always been there, and there\u2019d be nothing to signal an intrusion, no way of knowing better.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nBut she knows better. So it can\u2019t be happening, can it?\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThat\u2019s when she hears the knock.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<hr>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nClo has been living alone for so long in her basement suite that a knock itself is unusual, a knock itself could startle her; but this knock is at midnight.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe goes very still.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nAnother knock: three quick raps. Nothing contains more human intensity than that thin, knuckles-on-wood sound.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nClo holds up her phone. Jaspreet would come if she called him. She brings his number up and hovers her thumb over the call button. Then, very slowly, hardly breathing, she creeps to the peephole and presses an eye against it. Before she can get a good look, she is startled back by a voice on the other side.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cClo?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nA man\u2019s voice, low, stony, familiar.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cHello?\u201d she says. \u201cWho are you?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cClo, it\u2019s me!\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nSlowly, Clo presses against the peephole again. The porch-light above her suite is still on and there is light enough to make out a shape. No, not quite a shape; something in the process of taking a shape. Perhaps it is the warp of the peephole itself, but for a moment the shadows cast by the porch light seem to gather and tighten just behind the door like an indrawn cloak. The force of Clo\u2019s grip on the door handle hurts her hand.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nClo blinks and a man stands there, wearing a chestnut cardigan.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHer heart is a coin flipping in the air, undecided between fear and hope. The difference means nothing to the heart, both quicken the pulse; to Clo, the difference is everything.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<em>Who are you?<\/em>\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cClo?\u201d He sounds hurt, offended. \u201cI can see you moving in the peephole. Why is the door padlocked?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<em>Answer me!<\/em> she wants to shout. <em>What do you want?<\/em> All she can do is stand still, her lips locked and her throat too tight to use, as the man\u2019s question hunts through the cracks in the door for a response.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nWhen he speaks again, his voice is faint. \u201cWhat are your earrings doing out on the patio table?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nClo\u2019s mind goes to her ears automatically, sensing the undecorated lobes.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cI\u2019ve never seen you go anywhere without your earrings. Is&#8230; Is something going on?\u201d And then he says her name.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nNot \u201cClo.\u201d Her name.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nClo\u2019s heart skips. No one knows her name, only her and Maggie\u2014and this man. This man, with whom she\u2019s lived almost a whole life.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cCloris?\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nClo\u2019s phone is in her hand; she could still call Jaspreet. His number is still on her screen. But her thumb, with the rest of her, is stuck.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cListen,\u201d the man says. \u201cI know that you\u2019re confused. Angry. Maybe even scared.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nDoesn\u2019t she have memories of the two of them, even from last week? Hadn\u2019t they taken a walk together on Kitsilano beach last Saturday?\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cAnd I know that you\u2019re lonely. You\u2019ve been lonely so long, you\u2019ve almost forgotten what anything else feels like. I can make it so I\u2019ve always been there with you.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nHadn\u2019t they gone for a night drive a few days ago, a drive out of the city and along the coast, as they often did to decompress from the week\u2019s work?\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n\u201cLet me inside. I can make it right from the beginning.\u201d\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nShe sees them all clearly now, all her memories of him illuminating the deep-water darkness of her life with mesmerizing color. And now here he is, the very one who explains the absence she feels daily, who fits it like a glove.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nWhy does the heart move so much faster than the mind? Before Clo can help herself, she is opening the door. Her body sweats and trembles and tells her to run the other way; but she wants him. She wants to press her cheek against the familiar curve of his chest, to breathe him in, to be held. And\u2014now there he is. He stands tall at her threshold, back-lit by the neighbo\u2019s porch-light. It\u2019s as though he\u2019s come infinite distances to be here, come darting and drifting through the long spaces of the cosmos. His eyes contain a great predatory patience. They lock on hers.\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 0.14in\" lang=\"zxx\">\nThe light flicks off on the porch above.<br \/>\n<\/P><br \/>\n<mbp:pagebreak><\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in\" lang=\"zxx\" align=\"CENTER\">\n<font size=\"5\"><\/font><\/p>\n<p><center><font size=\"5\">Published by Light Spring LLC <\/font><\/center><\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in\" lang=\"zxx\" align=\"CENTER\">\n<font size=\"5\"><\/font><\/p>\n<p><center><font size=\"5\">Fort Worth, Texas<\/font><\/center><\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in\" lang=\"zxx\" align=\"CENTER\">\n<font size=\"5\"><\/font><\/p>\n<p><center><font size=\"5\">\u00a9 Copyright 2018, All Rights Reserved<\/font><\/center><\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in\" lang=\"zxx\" align=\"CENTER\">\n\n<\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"text-indent: 0.5in; margin-bottom: 0in\" lang=\"zxx\" align=\"CENTER\">\n<font color=\"#000080\"><span lang=\"zxx\"><u><\/u><\/span><\/font><\/p>\n<p><center><font color=\"#000080\"><u><a href=\"http:\/\/www.thecoloredlens.com\/\"><font size=\"5\">www.TheColoredLens.com<\/font><\/a><\/u><\/font><\/center><\/p>\n<p class=\"western\" style=\"margin-bottom: 0in\" lang=\"zxx\">\n<\/p>\n<hr>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The Colored Lens Speculative Fiction Magazine Spring 2018 \u2013 Issue #27 Featuring works by H. Pueyo, Imogen Cassidy, Barry Charman, Sam Tovey, Bindia Persaud, Lynn Rushlau, Edward Turner, Tim W. Boiteau, Aaron Moskalik, Jamie Lackey, Zoe Thomas, and Patrick Doerksen. Edited by Dawn Lloyd and Daniel Scott Henry Fields, Associate Editor Published by Light Spring &hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":29,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-136297","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry","entry entry-center"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thecoloredlens.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/136297","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thecoloredlens.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thecoloredlens.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thecoloredlens.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/29"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thecoloredlens.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=136297"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thecoloredlens.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/136297\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":136298,"href":"https:\/\/thecoloredlens.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/136297\/revisions\/136298"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thecoloredlens.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=136297"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}