On a springlike end-of-winter morning I awoke to a furious itching deep under my skin, as if my upper ribs were chafing one against the other. I prayed it wasn\u2019t a rash or a spider bite or any other mundane nothing. I mumbled silent vows. Tithing my allowance at church? I\u2019d do it. Treating Dirty Joe to a dollar menu burger? As soon as he drew near. I\u2019d even try and be gracious with my older brother, Pete. <\/p>\n
Hours later, I fidgeted in the back row of Geometry class. The pain in my side flared with such searing intensity that I nearly fell from my seat. For two merciful inhales the agony faded. It swelled again. Pinprick needles chased a disconcerting crackle that I knew to be bone. I wiped away tears before anyone took notice and felt the inside of my shirt with the stubs of new fingers. <\/p>\n
Approaching Mr. Henderson\u2019s desk with casual swagger wasn\u2019t easy. The titters of the class threw off my stride, and the singing in my head made my feet feel as if they weren\u2019t my own.<\/p>\n
\u201cJohnathan?\u201d Mr. Henderson turned away from his whiteboard proof.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, I\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
My voice came close to breaking. I couldn\u2019t finish. I couldn\u2019t risk the class hearing such a quaver at such a time. It was all too clich\u00e9. <\/p>\n
Mr. Henderson didn\u2019t miss a beat. \u201cDo you need to see the nurses?\u201d <\/p>\n
The classroom stilled. They sensed the importance of this moment. Even the rudest among them found it too boorish to intrude.<\/p>\n
\u201cYour right, is it?\u201d Mr. Henderson asked, but that\u2019s not where his eyes were. He knew. He was giving this to me.<\/p>\n
I cleared my throat. \u201cLeft.\u201d<\/p>\n
The class buzzed and whispered incredulously.<\/p>\n
\u201cLet\u2019s see.\u201d Mr. Henderson capped his marker and helped me with my shirt\u2019s lateral zipper. It didn\u2019t lower easily. Bad luck befalls eager fingers<\/em>, as the saying goes\u2014I\u2019d never dared touch it.<\/p>\n My third hand slipped free. Everyone saw and everyone knew. My new arm was growing fingers first, fully sized and already straining out beyond the second knuckle. No infantile growth. No months of exercise to match my new limb to its peers. Not only was I a lucky lefty<\/em>, I\u2019d jumped over years of development. <\/p>\n The rarest of rare beginnings. And everyone saw.<\/p>\n Every other high school student already had a second right, though precious few limbs were yet the equal of the originals. Corey, in back, was respected for his three rights, and though Nathan, the star basketball player, had two rights and two lefts, both were slight compared to his natal pair. He folded them, smooth and feminine, across his desk. They\u2019d look right at place on his sister\u2014still, he took due pride.<\/p>\n Today though, belonged to me. I\u2019d caught up. At the rate my arm was progressing, I\u2019d be passing some of my classmates by the weekend.<\/p>\n Mr. Henderson slid open the bottom drawer of his desk, retrieved a double wrap, and secured my new fingers. I\u2019d bled no little amount, but didn\u2019t mind at all. I wished eleven through fifteen could feel the open air. I wanted to watch them wiggle.<\/p>\n \u201cGet down there pronto,\u201d Mr. Henderson said. \u201cIt starts to really bite in when the adrenaline fades\u2014always just in time for the wrist too. Trust me.\u201d He waved a dozen times at the class and they chuckled at his humor. Very few adults ever reached ten. That made Mr. Henderson the coolest teacher in the building. <\/p>\n \u201cFor the rest of the week I\u2019ll pipe the lesson down to Miss Oshi\u2019s offices. Channel\u2014\u201d Mr. Henderson punched at his computer keyboard while signing out a hall pass and gathering up the day\u2019s assignment as he cleaned his glasses. \u201c\u2014twenty-three. There are so many mending this week. Something in the air?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2014I dunno.\u201d <\/p>\n The class chuckled. It may have been at my expense.<\/p>\n \u201cHurry down. And call your parents too. They\u2019ll be proud.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI know. I will.\u201d I thought of all the early morning promises I\u2019d made and didn\u2019t regret a single one. We all have our place in the world. The strong chose it; the weak accept it with a shrug or a grimace. I\u2019d always been the grimacing sort.<\/p>\n \u201cMindy really wants you.\u201d <\/p>\n A week after my lucky day, Nathan stopped me in the hall to deliver this news. Mindy, an attractive double-right sophomore with a pleasant predilection for short-shorts, had the eye of every student\u2014the jealous and the eager. She\u2019d been feeling the twinges of a second left all year, so she claimed.<\/p>\n \u201cShe said that?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n \u201cHell yeah.\u201d Nathan leaned in close and set twenty fingers on my shoulders. \u201cDon\u2019t miss your chance.\u201d<\/p>\n He began a sordid tale of what such girls could be coerced to do to earn a desirable guy\u2019s favor. I\u2019d heard it all before, but now that it applied to me personally, my neck set to burning.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s the lefts that do it,\u201d Nathan said giving a quick look over my shoulder at a group of passersby.<\/p>\n \u201cI know. For dancing.\u201d <\/p>\n \u201cYeah, but no. The holdin\u2019 hands in the hall shit? That\u2019s\u2014symbolic?\u201d He squinted.<\/p>\n \u201cYou line up,\u201d I said. <\/p>\n \u201cOh, you really do. Chicks like getting tangled. Skin on skin. You gotta have everything in the right spot.\u201d <\/p>\n He snickered. I tried to laugh along with him, but couldn\u2019t. Being a part of this conversation had left me stunned.<\/p>\n \u201cMan,\u201d Nathan said. \u201cDon\u2019t miss out. I wouldn\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHey, you talk to Coach?\u201d<\/p>\n Nathan desperately wanted me to try out for the team. We would dominate the left side court. He didn\u2019t seem to realize that talent was in the equation too.<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t see how\u2014I\u2019m\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n The bell rang.<\/p>\n \u201cThink about it,\u201d he said. \u201cSeriously, do.\u201d<\/p>\n When I sat down again in the back of Geometry class, I was thinking about it nonstop. I\u2019d forgotten all about basketball. <\/p>\n \u201cAre you new?\u201d asked a light voice from nearby. It jolted me from my daydream.<\/p>\n She sat in the neighboring desk. No girl had started a conversation with me since late in junior high. My precious few witty openings scampered away. I breathed in deep. With her so close, it was as if the air were sugared. <\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m April,\u201d she said. \u201cI just moved here too.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, I\u2019m not. Not new,\u201d I said. \u201cI meant to say.\u201d<\/p>\n Her eyes shone with amusement.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m April,\u201d she said again.<\/p>\n I could kick myself. \u201cJohnny.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cJohnny, you miss a lot of class.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI was at the nurses.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHmm . . .\u201d<\/p>\n She trailed off with a smile and didn\u2019t ask for an explanation. I wanted to give one, because I had the best excuse ever, but noticed the empty desks around her. People used to sit there. Corey with his triple right had always loafed two rows across from me. No longer. He\u2019d scooted up and over to a new spot where he whispered behind a screen of fingers. Sly glances were being cast our way\u2014her way. <\/p>\n They hadn\u2019t wanted to sit near me either, though they probably would now. I could go up front and they\u2019d free a spot for me, but not for her. Not in her condition. <\/p>\n \u201cApril,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n \u201cYou remembered.\u201d <\/p>\n Her eyes really never quit smiling. They pinched like tiny crescents against her cheeks. She must laugh a lot. I\u2019d had a hard time finding anything funny when I\u2019d been relegated to these seats.<\/p>\n A turn of fortune makes every man a philosopher.<\/p>\n In the two weeks since my maturation I\u2019d done more than my share of questioning. Why me, why now? What doors had been opened and did I dare step through them? It pleased me that my classmates now approached me\u2014that I\u2019d become one of them and left the life of an outcast. The tension at home had eased too. On Pete\u2019s weekends away from community college, he treated me with respect\u2014not much, but enough to notice. Even Mom and Dad were less tense. My own college situation loomed ahead, and with my new condition hinting at scholarship chances maybe I\u2019d have more luck than Pete.<\/p>\n I strolled downtown while mulling over my present and future. A canopy of cherry blossoms, the pride of the town, shaded the walks.<\/p>\n To my surprise, I spied April up ahead in pink overalls and a T-shirt. She knelt at a wrought-iron bench and spoke to another soul I knew but always avoided, Dirty Joe.<\/p>\n Dirty Joe, the town\u2019s local derelict, had lost his lower arms in the war\u2014only four stubs remained. I\u2019d never seen another two-armed adult in the flesh. A bibrachial cripple<\/em>. That\u2019s what the news called them.<\/p>\n The kids had stories about the old guy. How he\u2019d had his arms blown off in Mosul. He\u2019d lost his mind at the sight of it all and went on a civilian stabbing spree. Say the wrong thing and he\u2019d yank that same wicked blade from his boot and go for your digits.<\/p>\n \u201cJohnny!\u201d April called out to me.<\/p>\n I winced. Now Dirty Joe knew my name. He didn\u2019t look up\u2014his fingers worked at unwrapping some find\u2014but he surely squinted in recognition. I trudged nervously over and stopped a dozen paces away, unwilling to come within stabbing distance. I glanced from Joe to April. She had the same wrapping in hand.<\/p>\n \u201cWell?\u201d she asked.<\/p>\n I shrugged.<\/p>\n April stood, and to my shock, patted Dirty Joe on the back. He chewed and nodded. April walked toward me. In her left she held a croissant, of all things.<\/p>\n \u201cHe\u2019s gonna hassle you every day now,\u201d I said, careful to keep my voice low.<\/p>\n \u201cLet him. Gives him something to look forward to.\u201d Her gaze moved from my lips to my eyes, filling me with a pleasant nervousness. \u201cEveryone deserves that.\u201d <\/p>\n \u201cHow\u2019s your classes?\u201d I was just trying to be congenial, but I regretted the words once they were in the air. I\u2019d heard things about her that I\u2019d rather not discuss, but April didn\u2019t hesitate.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m trying out for the cheer squad. They need another now that Heather is\u2014you know.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOut of town?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWe\u2019ll call it that, sure. They need a new girl quick.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNot for the next\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWait\u2014tomorrow?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cTrial by fire.\u201d<\/p>\n Incredible. She would just hop up and present herself to that many people? Just like that? She must know what they\u2019d do and say. I couldn\u2019t manage such a feat and I at least had the proper look.<\/p>\n \u201cBut a lot of their routines take\u2014\u201d I bit short a blunder. <\/p>\n Her smile faltered and she looked away. She didn\u2019t speak. She didn\u2019t need to. I didn\u2019t need to be told what I\u2019d done. <\/p>\n Finally, she replied. \u201cIt\u2019s still worth a try. Right?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYes.\u201d <\/p>\n She rubbed at her forearms. Her smile found its place again. <\/p>\n \u201cCome root for me. Having someone in the stands helps.\u201d<\/p>\n I looked over to Joe licking at his grubby fingers, and a quiet guilt settled in. I\u2019d spoken without thinking and she\u2019d brushed it away. I\u2019d had to do the same in the past, but always sank into a sullen funk afterward. Yet there was something else here, some other promise broken. <\/p>\n \u201cPlease?\u201d she asked.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ll be there.\u201d<\/p>\n At Monday\u2019s after-school tryouts, I found an out of the way place in the gym. The basketball team ran drills at the far side of the court; the girls\u2019 cheer squad had staked out the other.<\/p>\n Nathan chased a ball over toward my direction. I think he sent it there deliberately.<\/p>\n \u201cYou signin’ up?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n \u201cJust watching.\u201d<\/p>\n He dribbled the ball between his lefts and eyed the assembling cheerleaders.<\/p>\n \u201cScared?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMan, you spent a long time like that. Ages.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhatever. It\u2019s all behind me.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIs it?\u201d<\/p>\n This hadn’t occurred to me. I blinked and stared at my shoes.<\/p>\n \u201cYou know what?\u201d he said. \u201cI felt sorry for you. I think I still do. But you\u2019re here now, man. Wake up.\u201d He smirked past me. <\/p>\n I followed Nathan\u2019s stare over towards April. She stood amongst the cheer squad and nodded quickly at their instructions. When I turned back to Nathan, he was dribbling back across the gym.<\/p>\n April twirled and kicked alongside the other girls, bounding about with them in a most pleasing manner. It seemed odd to me that more guys didn\u2019t come to watch this. Compared to the varsity team\u2019s drills across-court, this was utterly fascinating.<\/p>\n April knew all the chants and she jumped even higher than the other girls. Lacking the weight of an extra limb had a few tenuous benefits. The practice went on for a while\u2014bouncing about, call outs, and posing. <\/p>\n When I clapped at the end, the girls were too engrossed to notice. They gathered around April in a flurry of talk. She kept a smile in place, but it seemed painted on. Her eyes didn\u2019t show happy laughter. Her attention darted nervously from girl to girl as each ladled criticism and concerns and she struggled to answer. <\/p>\n Mindy, in the squad front and center, jabbed a single finger at April\u2019s shoulder, eliciting a laugh and a witty rebuff. I could tell by the way the other girls snickered.<\/p>\n At that moment April spotted me. Mindy saw April\u2019s mild surprise and looked my way too. With so much female attention settling on me at once, I was pinned in place, like a specimen on display.<\/p>\n Mindy winked. <\/p>\n I waved back with both lefts. <\/p>\n Mindy pressed her lips together tight over a smile and, in a blonde swirl of hair, spun back to the cheerleaders. The girls chattered amongst themselves and gathered up their little equipment. April gave me a worried look before hurrying after them.<\/p>\n It\u2019s all behind me.<\/em><\/p>\n That\u2019s what I\u2019d thought, but now I wasn’t so sure. Despite being such an oaf, Nathan had a point. I\u2019d spent so many years in that state. I forgave things no one else could. I\u2019d had to, to live with myself. Maybe I feared moving on and the possibilities that waited. Or maybe, though I\u2019d never say it aloud, I\u2019d grown comfortable with my place in the world.<\/p>\n The thunder from the stands drowned out Pete.<\/p>\n \u201c\u2014my old bike?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDo you want it? You can work the hand cranks now.\u201d<\/p>\n I\u2019d headed back home for dinner and managed to convince Pete, home on a three-day weekend, to join me at the game. We\u2019d wedged ourselves into spots on the front row bench. The bleachers behind and above us shook with the roaring of the home crowd and the deafening applause of a thousand hands. <\/p>\n I answered during a brief lull.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, but\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThanks.\u201d<\/p>\n Pete looked at me strangely. The audience exploded into a frenzy of shouts as our team scored another basket. <\/p>\n \u201cWe\u2019re pulling away,\u201d Pete said. <\/p>\n I didn\u2019t reply. I watched the cheerleaders capering through another routine. They had a new girl in their midst. I didn\u2019t know her. <\/p>\n \u201cOr is that what this is about?\u201d Pete saw the object of my attention. \u201cThe tall one?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMindy.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou are freaking kidding me! You move fast.\u201d<\/p>\n Untrue. Hesitation crushed me down with a mass of what-ifs.<\/p>\n Pete laughed. \u201cYou know, at first I thought she was making eyes at me?\u201d<\/p>\n I grabbed Pete\u2019s shoulder and pressed my head close to his. \u201cListen,\u201d I said. \u201cIf family means anything to you, you\u2019ll help me.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhoa. Three\u2019s a\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo goddamn jokes.\u201d<\/p>\n Pete set his jaw firm. \u201cAll right. So you want my seal of approval? Cause that girl\u2019s\u2014\u201d He gave a whistling exhale.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat do I do?\u201d<\/p>\n Pete smirked. This situation was ripe for insults. He rubbed at his mouth. \u201cWell, I\u2019d say, go have fun. Just don\u2019t do anything stupid, you follow?\u201d<\/p>\n I frowned. The clock had paused for a time-out and showed only seconds to go. I\u2019d lost track of the game\u2019s progress long ago.<\/p>\n \u201cListen,\u201d Pete said. \u201cI\u2019ll give you the steps, since you can\u2019t figure them out. At the buzzer march your ass over. Before she can say a word, ask her out. Polite but direct. Would you like to go somewhere?<\/em> Just like that. And then take her there.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cTonight?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo point in waiting.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnd if she\u2019s not interested?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIf?\u201d Pete laughed. \u201cGod. Yeah, if<\/em>. So damned lucky.\u201d<\/p>\n The buzzer sounded, a painful shrillness piercing through the crowd\u2019s roar. <\/p>\n Pete dug in his pocket and threw a jangle of keys onto my lap. His car? He\u2019d do that? He pointed from me to the squad, and left. As he\u2019d said, three\u2019s a crowd.<\/p>\n I cupped the keys in my lefts. I appreciated Pete\u2019s generosity\u2014this little assist\u2014but he didn\u2019t understand my situation as well as he thought.<\/p>\n As I rose, the Mighty Crawdad mascot hurried up before me with its claws snapping and its tail upturned.<\/p>\n It spoke, foam-muffled. \u201cWhat\u2019d you think?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMe?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, you.\u201d<\/p>\n I felt a familiar nervousness, and knew.<\/p>\n April was in there. The girls had given her this sad task, made her a token part of the group and allowed the former mascot to join the squad proper. Despite April being as good as them\u2014even better in some ways\u2014she\u2019d been treated like a joke. <\/p>\n The honorable part of me wanted to shout and cry out at the injustice of it all, but some helplessly male aspect took the fore. I couldn\u2019t see anything other than April\u2019s spandexed legs, strikingly long and so out of place on this creature. They didn\u2019t belong here. She didn\u2019t. I didn\u2019t. <\/p>\n My scrutiny couldn\u2019t be more hopelessly shallow, yet it somehow defied every pair of male eyes here. Under that costume and beyond the cosmetic, I saw her. She never hid. She was right out in the open, but only I noticed? It wasn\u2019t possible. <\/p>\n I\u2019d spent a long time like that. Ages.<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with us?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n \u201cUs?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNothing, I\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n While Mindy had had her back turned and cast that wink, she hadn\u2019t seen April raise her single right, touching her fingertips to the sky.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m really glad you made it,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n \u201cOh, me too. I mean\u2014\u201d She trailed off. \u201cIt was hard.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI liked it when you did the Shimmy Strut.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHa ha.\u201d She spoke the words with a droll air.<\/p>\n \u201cReally. You can\u2019t imagine how much.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHmm . . .\u201d <\/p>\n This wasn\u2019t the first time she\u2019d approached me. Yet I knew from seeing and knowing her that, unlike the others here, she didn\u2019t care about my second left. She saw who I was even when I lacked the surety myself.<\/p>\n I let the words come without second guessing.<\/p>\n \u201cWould you like to go somewhere?\u201d<\/p>\n The Mighty Crawdad stared at me with unblinking eyes the size of hubcaps and with its mouth frozen in a cartoon grin. April\u2019s silhouette shifted behind the dark mesh of its irises. I wished I could see her expression. Not in a million years would I have guessed it would happen this way.<\/p>\n \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n And that is how a fool finds himself. He struggles and stumbles until a forgiving someone takes him by the hand and leads him to a better place.<\/p>\n Every school day between classes, I carried April\u2019s books. Hers and mine tucked together under my lefts while she held my free right. There were whispers, but they weren\u2019t about us; they didn\u2019t know who we were. April wore her cheer uniform in the halls because she never had a chance at the games. I noticed the sideways scowls and heads that turned away when I met their stare. Before, I\u2019d told myself this shifty-eyed nonsense didn\u2019t matter, when it had been just me, but now I truly believed it.<\/p>\n Each weekend we were together. Mom, and Dad especially, didn\u2019t have too much to say about April\u2014neither to her nor to me. Pete seemed confused. <\/p>\n Two months later at the Spring Dance, I held April tight. With the lights so low, our neighbors didn\u2019t recognize us; they didn\u2019t always have time to move away. In the middle of the gym, right there in front of everyone, April slipped her arms around my neck and kissed me with such depth and passion that for a moment I was somewhere else. I was someone else. My old self, my true self. And she was with me.<\/p>\n Mr. Henderson stepped in and pulled us apart. Just for the moment. <\/p>\n \u201cWhat is it with you?\u201d <\/p>\n Nathan caught me in the hall one day when April wasn\u2019t around. I never did try out for the team and at first thought this was his familiar haranguing. Perhaps he was prepping for next year.<\/p>\n \u201cMe?\u201d I asked. \u201cNothing.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSeen you around.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWith that\u2014whatever you call her.\u201d<\/p>\n I didn\u2019t respond.<\/p>\n \u201cYou two\u2019re sick. She\u2019s gonna slime off on you.\u201d<\/p>\n I spoke slowly. \u201cShut your goddamned\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou that fuckin\u2019 brave or just plain gross?\u201d<\/p>\n Fifteen fingers trembled, eager to roll into fists. Whatever Nathan\u2019s problem might be\u2014whether he thought he needed to tear me down to keep himself at the top, or if he just felt like voicing his bias\u2014for whatever reason, he didn\u2019t stop.<\/p>\n \u201cQueerin\u2019 it up with a diseased freak.\u201d<\/p>\n In a flash I had Nathan\u2019s strongest wrists in my grip. He punched at me with his free arms but they pattered uselessly against my sides, still too immature to be of real concern. My much more formidable second left squeezed his throat tight. Nathan choked and spluttered. Not until I saw proper fear in his eyes did I shove him thudding into the lockers. <\/p>\n He shook himself loose and casual, as if it hadn\u2019t hurt, though I\u2019d made sure it had.<\/p>\n A crowd of students had stopped with mouths open, drinking in the confrontation. The class alpha male versus the class rebel\u2014for since I\u2019d met April, that\u2019s what I\u2019d become. Now everyone knew who had the upper hand. <\/p>\n Nathan sneered. \u201cYou deserve each other.\u201d<\/p>\n Those were the only insightful words he\u2019d ever spoken.<\/p>\n I left the school grounds that day in a black mood, the worst I\u2019d felt in ages. They thought they had a right to choose for me? Never. I refused. My family had enough wisdom to not say anything, but these schoolyard nobodies lacked the sense to know where they stood.<\/p>\n Still mumbling and fuming, I slumped up the front walk to the house. A shadow shifted on the front porch.<\/p>\n \u201cHey!\u201d I took the front steps in one leap. April sat on our porch swing, slowly easing forward and back with her legs. Her hands lay folded in her lap.<\/p>\n \u201cI missed you today,\u201d I said. \u201cAre you\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n She lifted her face toward me.<\/p>\n For all the insults I\u2019d heard her endure and all the fickle disdain that had been tossed her way, I\u2019d never seen her break. <\/p>\n Tears slipped down April\u2019s cheeks.<\/p>\n \u201cCan we go inside?\u201d She fought to keep her voice steady.<\/p>\n No one was home. Once April and my relationship had been made known, rules about this sort of thing had been sent down from on high. <\/p>\n They\u2019d just been overridden. <\/p>\n I took April\u2019s hand and led her in. We set our things in the kitchen.<\/p>\n \u201cAre you okay?\u201d I asked. I brushed her tears away. <\/p>\n More fell. <\/p>\n \u201cI did try calling,\u201d I said. \u201cTwice.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI know.\u201d <\/p>\n She squeezed my lower left with her right. Before I understood her intentions, she\u2019d slipped our hands under her shirt and pressed my palm to her. <\/p>\n At the touch of her skin my pulse always went cartwheeling uphill at a downhill pace. This brazen maneuver should have upped the intensity to a carnival ride dizziness. But to hear her grief\u2014it stabbed me clean through.<\/p>\n She pushed my hand up higher, letting my fingers trace over her ribs to rest on the nub of her second right. She sobbed.<\/p>\n \u201cApril,\u201d I whispered. <\/p>\n \u201cHold me?\u201d<\/p>\n She twined her arms up around my neck and hugged me tight. Under my palm, the modest beginnings of her new arm followed the motions of its sister.<\/p>\n She\u2019d never wished for this the way I had. Instead, she\u2019d built a strength I could never claim. Even now, in spite of the tears, it filled her core.<\/p>\n April wept against me and I spoke the words she\u2019d come to hear, the same ones she\u2019d taught me.<\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t be afraid,\u201d I said. \u201cYou\u2019re still you.\u201d<\/p>\n Rhoads lacks his wife\u2019s classiness, his son\u2019s genius, and his house cat\u2019s fearsome nature. His life is a simple one, Rockwellian with a touch of morbid fancy. Rhoads transcribes his dreams into prose and shares them with the unsuspecting. Somehow, his work has seeped into this magazine and other unknowing venues, including: The Best Horror of the Year, vol. 7; Apex Magazine; Gaia: Shadow & Breath Anthology, vols. 1 & 2, Death\u2019s Realm Anthology, and Daylight Dims Anthology, vol. 2.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" On a springlike end-of-winter morning I awoke to a furious itching deep under my skin, as if my upper ribs were chafing one against the other. I prayed it wasn\u2019t a rash or a spider bite or any other mundane nothing. I mumbled silent vows. Tithing my allowance at church? I\u2019d do it. Treating Dirty …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":15501,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,1347],"tags":[1348],"class_list":["post-26924","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fiction","category-tcl-16-summer-2015","tag-the-colored-lens-16-summer-2015","entry entry-center"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/thecoloredlens.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26924","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/thecoloredlens.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/thecoloredlens.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/thecoloredlens.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/15501"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/thecoloredlens.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=26924"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/thecoloredlens.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26924\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":139567,"href":"http:\/\/thecoloredlens.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26924\/revisions\/139567"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/thecoloredlens.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=26924"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/thecoloredlens.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=26924"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/thecoloredlens.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=26924"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
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