1.<\/b>\n<\/p>\n
\nJae didn\u2019t mean to find the letter.\n<\/p>\n
\nHe had been putting away clothes in his son\u2019s room when a pair of socks rolled by the bookshelf. As he bent down, he saw an envelope tucked behind a few paperbacks. Jae picked it up, pushed open the torn top of the envelope just enough to glance at the first few words, then put it back behind the lowest shelf carefully.\n<\/p>\n
\nPerhaps his son was just waiting to talk about it, Jae reasoned, but days went by and it never came up.\n<\/p>\n
\nOn Friday afternoon, Jae waited at the dining table for the familiar sound of the front door opening and a backpack dropping on the floor. Connor came in, hunched, with his earphones in, barely stopping as he marched toward his room. \u201cHey, Dad.\u201d\n<\/p>\n
\n\u201cCon,\u201d Jae replied. \u201cDon\u2019t forget. Dinner with Mom and Chris soon.\u201d\n<\/p>\n
\nConnor pulled out one of his earphones. \u201cThat\u2019s tonight?\u201d\n<\/p>\n
\n\u201cIt\u2019s the first Friday, isn\u2019t it?\u201d Jae said.\n<\/p>\n
\n\u201cOh\u2026\u201d Connor said. \u201cI was going to–You know what? It\u2019s fine.\u201d\n<\/p>\n
\n\u201cGreat.\u201d\n<\/p>\n
\n\u201cYou okay?\u201d Connor paused.\n<\/p>\n
\nJae stared for a moment. \u201cOf course. Why wouldn\u2019t I be?\u201d\n<\/p>\n
\n\u201cCool.\u201d Connor walked away.\n<\/p>\n
\nJae went to the kitchen sink, turned on the faucet, and watched the water run into the basin. He washed the vegetables under the rushing water, then put on music as he chopped up salad and boiled pasta, a pot of meat sauce already simmering beside it. Eventually he set two plates of spaghetti on the dining table, opposite an open laptop.\n<\/p>\n
\n\u201cCon! Dinner!\u201d Jae called. He leaned over the laptop and opened up his video chat.\n<\/p>\n
\nEsther appeared on the computer screen at her dining table. \u201cHey, there,\u201d she said. \u201cChris is washing up.\u201d\n<\/p>\n
\n\u201cNo worries, Connor\u2019s dragging his feet too.\u201d Jae sat down. \u201cWhat are you guys having?\u201d\n<\/p>\n
\n\u201cDidn\u2019t have time, so it\u2019s just sushi from down the street.\u201d\n<\/p>\n
\n\u201cBig city sushi. I\u2019m jealous,\u201d he said playfully. \u201cIt\u2019s just simple spaghetti over here.\u201d\n<\/p>\n
\n\u201cAlways spaghetti with you.\u201d\n<\/p>\n
\nConnor emerged from his room and walked over to the dining table. He pushed his hair out of his eyes and looked over at the chat window on the laptop. \u201cHey, Mom.\u201d\n<\/p>\n
\n\u201cHey, buster. How\u2019s last semester? You keeping busy?\u201d\n<\/p>\n
\n\u201cNot really,\u201d Connor shrugged. \u201cEveryone\u2019s just killing time before graduation and acting stupid. You know.\u201d\n<\/p>\n
\n\u201cOh, I see. Well, have you been killing time and acting stupid in that case?\u201d\n<\/p>\n
\nConnor smiled a little without answering and played with the spaghetti on his plate when his brother Chris appeared on the video screen next to Esther and sat down at her table. Jae squinted at the laptop and noted that Chris\u2019s hair was tightly cropped on the sides and top. The twins had always had similar haircuts growing up, so it was a change that took Jae aback.\n<\/p>\n
\n\u201cChris, you cut your\u2014\u201d\n<\/p>\n
\n\u201cYeah, Dad,\u201d Connor jumped in. \u201cChris cut it like a month<\/em> ago. You already saw it.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cI guess I didn\u2019t realize it was that short\u2026\u201d Jae said.\n<\/p>\n \nChris grinned on the screen and rubbed the sides of his head. \u201cThought I\u2019d try out a new look before college. Maybe grow it back out before the fall or whatever.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cLooks good.\u201d Jae commented, mostly to himself, as he took a bite of spaghetti.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cSo, Con,\u201d Esther said, pouring a glass of wine. \u201cWhat else is new with you?\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cNothing.\u201d Connor took a bite.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cChris showed me some of your new paintings on Photon. They\u2019re really good, honey. I mean it. Beautiful.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cProton?\u201d Jae asked.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cPhoton,\u201d Chris said in the video chat window. \u201cIt\u2019s a social media thing, Dad.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cOh.\u201d Jae looked over at Connor. \u201cI didn\u2019t know you put your paintings online. I\u2019d love to see them too.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cYou can just see them here, Dad,\u201d he replied.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cExcept you don\u2019t show them to me here either, do you?\u201d said Jae, more brusquely than he intended.\n<\/p>\n \nConnor furrowed his brow, and Chris had an identical expression on the screen.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cNever mind. Forget it,\u201d Jae turned back to his meal.\n<\/p>\n \nFor the rest of the dinner, Esther prodded the boys with questions while Jae ate quietly. Eventually, Chris excused himself and Connor did the same, heading off to their rooms and leaving Esther and Jae on the chat by themselves.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cYou okay?\u201d Esther asked.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cSorry,\u201d Jae frowned.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cIt\u2019s hard. I get it,\u201d Esther said. \u201cThey\u2019re only ours for a few more months and then\u2026\u201d She finished her glass of wine. \u201cIt gets worse. I think Chris is leaning toward UChicago.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cBut he hasn\u2019t heard back from the California schools yet.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cI know.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cAnd what about NYU? I thought if he was staying out east, he\u2019d be in the city with you?\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cI know.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cChicago is so cold and…cold.<\/em>\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cI know\u2026\u201d Esther groaned. \u201cWhat about Connor? Still no word from Haller?\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nJae paused. \u201cNo.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cAny day now, I\u2019m sure.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cYeah.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cIt\u2019ll be okay.\u201d Esther finished her wine. \u201cI should let you go. It\u2019s a dark night, isn\u2019t it?\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nJae was surprised that she remembered.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cSome habits die hard,\u201d she said, as if she knew what he was thinking. \u201cGoodnight, Jae.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cGoodnight, Es.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n \nIn the basement, next to his supplies, Jae kept the wooden frames of the twins\u2019 childhood beds. As he did every time he went down there, he paused to look at them, remembering another time when he was a young man, thinner and with blacker hair, how those beds used to sit on either side of their room, covered in big, puffy blankets that were decorated with stars and planets.\n<\/p>\n \nAnd then, after he had shaken away thoughts of the little ghosts of his sons, he remembered why he came. He bent to pick up a roll of plastic sheeting, then carefully laid it out across the linoleum of the basement floor, making sure to cover all of the open space. Next he took a bucket from the corner and placed it in the middle of the room. Last, he undressed and folded his clothes, then wrapped a towel around his waist.\n<\/p>\n \nHe knelt, and he waited.\n<\/p>\n \nEventually, Jae felt a familiar pressure begin to build in his sinuses. Small trails of blood began to seep from his tear ducts. The pupils of his eyes began to expand, and the whites of his eyes retreated.\n<\/p>\n \nThe basement door above him opened, and Connor stood at the entrance, looking down at Jae. \u201cSorry,\u201d Connor said as he walked down the basement steps, carrying a towel. \u201cLost track of time.\u201d He joined his father on the plastic, quickly changing out of his clothes and wrapping the towel around him. Connor wiped blood from his cheeks as he knelt, and his eyes quickly turned to glistening pools of black.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cWhen you\u2019re living on your own next year, you can\u2019t do that on dark nights,\u201d Jae said. \u201cI\u2019m not going to be there to prepare this for you.\u201d He stopped speaking when he felt the tightness in his mouth, and as always, his two front teeth squeezed their way out of his gums first, dropping onto his tongue. Jae swished them and sucked up some of the blood. Then he grabbed the bucket and spit out the teeth, which clattered lightly at the bottom like tiny pebbles.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cI said sorry,\u201d Connor replied. He grunted as his teeth squeezed their way out of his mouth. One by one, Connor\u2019s teeth fell, dripping with red into the bucket.\n<\/p>\n \nJae looked at his son. \u201cRemember, \u2018Deep breath.<\/em>\u2019\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nWhen the boys were young, Jae used to make up games for them, some of which weren\u2019t really games. \u201cDeep breath<\/em>\u201d came about when Connor was six, and he fell off of the jungle gym and broke his arm. The goal of the game was to hold your breath as long as possible and then let the air out slowly. It kept Connor calm all the way to the emergency room and pulled focus from the pain, and sometimes, it helped with the changes on nights like these.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cHear anything from Haller?\u201d Jae asked, spitting a few more of his teeth into the bucket.\n<\/p>\n \nConnor breathed in deeply, then spit. \u201cNo.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cNo?\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cNo.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nJae studied his son\u2019s face.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cI\u2019ve been thinking, maybe Haller isn\u2019t right for me,\u201d Connor said.\n<\/p>\n \nThe bones underneath Jae\u2019s skin started shifting. His cheek bones cracked and pushed forward, as did parts of his jaw. Everything leveled, bit by bit, until his face became a round, flat disc. Jae took a moment to catch himself before speaking. \u201cYou said their visual arts program was great for what you wanted to study, right?\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cYeah, I know what I said, Dad.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nJae winced. He felt the familiar crack of his nose breaking and curving closer to his mouth. The cartilage and bones reformed and hardened into a clicking beak.\n<\/p>\n \nConnor spit into the bucket and looked away from Jae. \u201cI just don\u2019t know if college makes a lot of sense with everything going on.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nJae sat up.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cWhat?\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nConnor\u2019s face followed Jae\u2019s, flattening, and then shaping his mouth and nose. He bent over and gripped his knees, fighting the urge to cry out until the movement in his bones stopped.\n<\/p>\n \nJae opened and closed what used to be his mouth and clicked his beak a few times as he adjusted. \u201cIf you mean because of this…It\u2019s just a condition like any other. You can manage it.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cCondition. Right.\u201d Connor held up his hands. His fingers stretched thinner as the skin on them turned gray and leathery. His fingernails split and sloughed off and longer, sharper bones pushed out from the tips of his fingers and extended into little scythes. Connor grew in height several inches as his feet lengthened and thickened into claws. There was a tapping sound as an extra toe bone broke through the skin at each of his heels and scraped onto the plastic.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cI mean it, Con. You\u2019ll figure out ways like I did. You can still go to Haller or…you know…anywhere else.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cThat\u2019s not it,\u201d Connor grunted. \u201cI\u2019m not like you.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cWhat does that mean?\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nConnor avoided looking at him.\n<\/p>\n \nJae let it rest for a moment since they were nearing the end of the change. He pulled his shoulders back, tensing. Two large bones broke through the skin from his shoulder blades, one on either side. To his left and his right, the two bones spread and grew into wet, skeletal wings, extending from Jae\u2019s back.\n<\/p>\n \nSmall ruffles of feathers sprouted through the pores of Jae\u2019s face, pushing outward in flecks of white and gold. Thicker feathers began to grow on the bones on Jae\u2019s upper back, draping down like curtains. A smaller skirt of white feathers extended from his lower back and lifted up and down slightly.\n<\/p>\n \nConnor\u2019s wings and feathers formed as well, spreading across the span of the basement from his shoulder blades. The disc shape of his white, owl-like face and dark eyes turned at an extreme angle as he blinked at Jae and clicked his beak.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cReady when you are,\u201d Connor said softly.\n<\/p>\n \n \nThey stepped out into the backyard, which was pitch black beneath the new moon. Their house was surrounded by tall fences that allowed them to walk the yard freely. Streetlights speckled the bottom of their hill, but the neighborhood and the sky were shrouded in a heavy, cloudy blanket. The conditions were just right.\n<\/p>\n \nJae jumped first, beating his wings silently as he ascended into the dark.\n<\/p>\n \nConnor flew up after him.\n<\/p>\n \nThey moved swiftly and quietly through the cloud cover, up into the cold air, which whipped around them. Connor glided ahead of his father through swirling wisps, and Jae pulled alongside him. His son moved faster, stretching his powerful wings, more smoothly and effortlessly than Jae.\n<\/p>\n \nAs he watched his son float ahead of him through the grayness, Jae was reminded of the bike rides they would take at the park, how he would see Connor and Chris race ahead across grass while he sauntered leisurely behind, holding Esther\u2019s hand. There was always a lump in his throat, wondering if one or both of them might crash to the ground, and he was always ready to call out to them if they went too far ahead.\n<\/p>\n \nIn the midst of those memories, Jae realized that Connor had steered upward. The boy pulled out of the cloud cover and erupted out into the open air high above where someone might see them. Jae chased after him.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cConnor!\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nConnor knew better, Jae thought. He burst above the clouds, the open sky spreading across his view, and he saw Connor waiting, hovering as his wings beat.\n<\/p>\n \nThe boy stared at the silhouette of the mountain near their home. It loomed over the houses on their hill, a solitary colossus.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cWe can\u2019t stay up here!\u201d Jae yelled.\n<\/p>\n \nConnor twisted his head to look back at his father, then nodded. The boy folded his wings and dropped, headfirst, cutting back into the wisps of the gray cloudy surface beneath.\n<\/p>\n \nJae dived after him.\n<\/p>\n \nThe wind buffeted Jae\u2019s face. He could see the shape of Connor falling in front of him, and he reached forward with a clawed hand.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cConnor!\u201d Jae screeched.\n<\/p>\n \nAs if suddenly remembering where he was, Connor flattened his body and pulled upward with his wings outstretched. He curved gracefully through the clouds.\n<\/p>\n \nJae stretched his wings a second later, which pulled them back too quickly and strained his joints painfully. He pulled up and glided alongside his son. \u201cStay in the cloud cover!\u201d He yelled.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cSorry,\u201d Connor blinked as he floated. \u201cGot carried away.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cWhat\u2019s going on with you?\u201d Jae asked.\n<\/p>\n \nConnor didn\u2019t reply.\n<\/p>\n \nThey circled above the house for the next few hours, wordlessly. Eventually, as the night came to a close, they descended to their yard. Connor landed first, his clawed feet pressing and kicking onto the dirt, then Jae came down behind him.\n<\/p>\n \nThe sounds and smell of the air were shifting with daylight coming.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cCome on,\u201d Jae huffed and walked through the patio door back into the house, but he turned back when he realized that Connor was still standing in the yard, looking at the sky.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cCon, sun-up,\u201d Jae muttered. They were already cutting it closer than usual.\n<\/p>\n \nConnor looked at the sky, his dark black eyes fixed on the horizon.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cThe sun. Get inside now.<\/em>\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nConnor looked down at his clawed hands. \u201cYou always said if we\u2019re not back by sun-up, we stay this way always, in these bodies, right?\u201d He looked back over his shoulder. \u201cBut what if…that isn\u2019t a bad thing?\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nJae stepped forward warily, watching the horizon. \u201cConnor,\u201d he said sternly. \u201cGet inside the house right now.\u201d Jae spread his wings, extending out from his broad shoulders.\n<\/p>\n \nHis son\u2019s dark eyes flashed for just a second, a hint of fear, but also confidence.\n<\/p>\n \nThey both stayed there for a moment.\n<\/p>\n \nThen Connor broke his gaze and looked down.\n<\/p>\n \n \nFather and son returned to the cover of the windowless basement, waiting until the sun emerged. Their bodies knew the moment morning broke and began to revert. Claws and wings and feathers reformed into hands and skin and hair. Nose and mouth reshaped and cut themselves from flesh, with new kernels of teeth pressing their way out of swollen gums.\n<\/p>\n \nWhen it was done, Jae and Connor rolled up the plastic sheets on the ground, just barely stained with streaks of their blood, and stuffed them in garbage bags. Jae picked up the bucket and walked up the basement steps behind Connor.\n<\/p>\n \nAt the bottom of the bucket, the white and red pieces of bone shimmered like little shells, the last sign that anything had happened. Jae poured them into the kitchen sink and watched as the rush of water took them clattering down the drain where they disappeared.\n<\/p>\n \nHe turned off the faucet and wiped the sink clean.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cCan you believe it?\u201d Jae said over the phone.\n<\/p>\n \nEsther was quiet. \u201cHe\u2019s always been different.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cDifferent, sure, but not stupid. I think he wants to turn, to be this way all the time.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cIt\u2019ll be okay.\u201d Esther went quiet. \u201cThis is why we did custody with the boys this way, right? So you can be there now to steer Con on this.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cSo I gave him this disease, and now I\u2019m not steering him enough.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cWhoa. Jae. No. I\u2019m just saying, you share something with him that his brother and I don\u2019t. So, you know, try to use that. Talk to him. That\u2019s all.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nJae thought again about the letter.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cI seriously doubt he\u2019d tell me anything anymore. But…I\u2019ll try,\u201d he said. \u201cWhen did the boys get so goddamn difficult?\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cYou know my answer. I think it was in the womb from the get-go.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nJae laughed and, for a second, he was reminded of the nights when he and Esther would lie in bed, staring at the ceiling and talking in the dark about the twins until it was far too late.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cThanks, Es,\u201d he said.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cGood luck, Jae. Let me know how it goes.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n \nEsther had always said that the way to see into Jae\u2019s soul was his coffee. On regular days, his coffee was light, creamy, and sugary. On bad days, he took it black and piping hot, too preoccupied to do anything with it.\n<\/p>\n \nBy the same token, she thought that the way into Connor\u2019s soul was his paintings. The subjects, lighting, and color never mattered, but when Connor was content, his brush strokes were smooth and decisive. When he was troubled, they were ragged, shaky, or dotted. Look at the lines, Esther always said. That\u2019s how you knew if something was off.\n<\/p>\n \nJae thought about that as he tried to read one of Connor\u2019s canvases, holding his mug of coffee, but he had no idea what he was looking at. This particular painting in progress was unlike anything he\u2019d seen his son make before–an abstract swirl of blue, black, and grey colors of various shades, all twisting and turning. The lines were messy, but they were purposeful.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cYou need something?\u201d Connor stepped into the room.\n<\/p>\n \nJae cleared his throat. \u201cSorry, I was just looking for you. Didn\u2019t mean to pry.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cWhatever, it\u2019s fine.\u201d Connor stood next to him. His relaxed response took Jae by surprise, since he would normally chase Jae out of the room.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cWell, it\u2019s very striking,\u201d Jae said as he took a sip. \u201cI like the way you got that wavy texture there with those greys. How\u2019d you…you know, do that?\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cPalette knife,\u201d Connor replied.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cPalette knife,\u201d Jae repeated and went silent. The fact that his son was even answering the question was unusual, so he didn\u2019t want to ruin it by saying too much.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cI figured if anyone would get this one, it would be you.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cMe?\u201d Jae blinked. He looked back at the canvas and the swirls of dark colors. \u201cOh.\u201d Jae saw the flashes of color in his mind with the memory of the clouds. \u201cIt\u2019s up there, isn\u2019t it?\u201d He looked over at his son.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cYeah.\u201d Connor kept looking at the canvas. \u201cOr, well, more the feeling of being up there, I guess.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cIt\u2019s a great feeling\u2026\u201d Jae said.\n<\/p>\n \nConnor seemed skeptical of his father\u2019s response, but he kept talking. \u201cI dream about it. A lot,\u201d he said. \u201cDo you ever, you know, dream about it too?\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cFlying?\u201d Jae looked at the painting again. \u201cI used to,\u201d he admitted. \u201cBut that changes eventually. I dream about different things now.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cWhat things?\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cAh, boring things,\u201d he said.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cDo you ever\u2026\u201d Connor seemed to be feeling out the words. \u201cDo you wonder where the others like us are? The ones who turn fully?\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nSo this was why Connor was so receptive, Jae thought. He was probing for answers too.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cNo,\u201d Jae responded, which was a half-truth. \u201cBut I can understand why you\u2019d be curious. Since you brought it up, Con. The other night, that thing you were saying about\u2026\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nHe trailed off as his eyes floated toward the window. There was a classic car parked just across the street, a brown 1967 Plymouth GTX that stood out in a little residential area like theirs. Jae didn\u2019t know the first thing about cars, but he knew this one because he\u2019d seen that model before.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cDad?\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nThere was a knock at their front door.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cHold on,\u201d Jae tensed.\n<\/p>\n \nHe went over to the door and looked out the peephole to see a man standing on their porch. The man was young, with shoulder-length brown hair and a handlebar moustache that sloped down to his chin. He was dressed flashily in a loud Hawaiian shirt and a distressed, leather jacket.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cHello?\u201d the man said with a friendly tone.\n<\/p>\n \nJae opened the door. \u201cHi. Can I help you?\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nThe young man smiled. \u201cWell, can I help you is the question. I was passing by your house and just really<\/em> admired the exterior–so well-maintained. You ever think about selling?\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cHadn\u2019t crossed my mind, to be honest,\u201d Jae said. \u201cAre you a realtor?\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cGuilty!\u201d the man laughed. When he did, the heavy smell of garlic filled the entryway. \u201cThis area has been an interest of mine lately. Three houses nearby sold for over a million this last month, did you know that?\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cI didn\u2019t\u2026\u201d Jae said.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cI know this is an imposition, but I was wondering if I could peek inside? Might be able to tell you how much you\u2019re looking at if you decide to put this on the market. Just a quick look.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nJae smiled politely. \u201cHow could I say no to that?\u201d He stepped back and let the young man enter the home.\n<\/p>\n \nThe man spotted Connor in the hallway. \u201cThis your son? Nice to meet you.\u201d The man said, staring at the boy for a few seconds, then walked into the living room. \u201cThis is beautiful. Really, just beautiful. Three beds, two baths, I\u2019m guessing?\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cYou guessed right.\u201d Jae smiled and then turned to his son. \u201cConnor, \u2018Don\u2019t listen,<\/em>\u2019okay?\u201d he said pointedly. \u201cI\u2019m not selling anytime soon, but this nice man <\/em>says he can tell us what it\u2019s worth.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nJae turned back to their visitor. \u201cThis is his childhood home, so he gets sensitive about the idea of us selling. You know how it is.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cI getcha,\u201d the young man said softly and paced around the house. \u201cWonderful layout. Master there, and other two there, huh?\u201d He walked over toward the door to the basement. \u201cMay I?\u201d He looked at Jae.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cGo for it.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nThe man opened the door and looked down the basement stairway. \u201cJeepers, don\u2019t think I\u2019ve seen a basement this clean before.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nHe smiled and did not blink.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cI try.\u201d Jae watched the back of the man\u2019s jacket as he leaned over and saw a wooden handle between the waist of his jeans and his Hawaiian shirt. \u201cListen, I appreciate the interest, but my son and I were actually about to step out. Mind if I cut to the chase and ask what you think?\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cOf course not,\u201d the young man said. \u201cThis right here? Well, and this is just a guess, but you\u2019re sitting on gold is what I think. In this market, you\u2019d be able to get one point one mill, easy. Maybe, and I don\u2019t want to jinx it, maybe even one point two.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cWow.\u201d Jae gave a low whistle. \u201cThat\u2019s a lot of change.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cSure is,\u201d the young man said, stroking his moustache with his fingers. \u201cAnywho, I know you got a day to get to, so I\u2019ll get out of your way. Appreciate you indulging me, though.\u201d He made his way to the front door. \u201cListen,\u201d he said softly, and handed him a business card with a phone number on it. \u201cJust in case. I think you could turn this real quick.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nJae took the card. \u201cI\u2019ll keep you in mind.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nThe young man winked and turned to Connor. \u201cYou two have a good one.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nJae shut the door and looked out the peephole as their visitor got into the Plymouth. The engine turned over, and the car rolled slowly out of sight.\n<\/p>\n \nConnor walked over to the window and looked out at the street. \u201c\u2018Don\u2019t listen\u2019, huh? We haven\u2019t played that game since I was like eight. What part of all that was the lie?\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cAll of it,\u201d Jae said. \u201cThat wasn\u2019t a realtor, and he wasn\u2019t here to look at the house.\u201d He locked the door. \u201cThat was a Hatchetman.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nConnor made a face. \u201cCome on.\u201d His father had told him stories about the Hatchetmen when he was younger, but they had always sounded outlandish. \u201cThat\u2019s not real.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nJae walked to the kitchen and poured another cup of coffee. He drank it while looking into the sink. The visitor was just like the one Jae remembered when he was a boy. Long hair, leather jacket, old car, garlic breath.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cI bet some of them think we\u2019re not real either,\u201d Jae said.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cEven if that\u2019s true…\u201d Connor realized his father was serious. \u201cYou think he knows about us?\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cKnows or suspects.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nThe boy glowered and crossed his arms. \u201cWell, let him try something if he wants. We can–\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cStop,\u201d Jae snapped. \u201cJust stop it already. This is not the time to act like a tough guy. These guys are fucking killers, do you understand? All they do is hunt people like us.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cThey don\u2019t scare me.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cWell then wake the fuck up, Connor!\u201d Jae raised his voice. \u201cWhy do you think he was here? Could it be that he spotted someone the other night, just maybe?\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nHis son opened his mouth like he was about to respond, but he swallowed it.\n<\/p>\n \nJae continued to drink his coffee, staring out the front window and watching the street. Connor went back to his room and resumed his painting, slashing colors raggedly across the canvas.\n<\/p>\n \n \nOver the next few days, Jae did not see the brown Plymouth. Perhaps the visitor moved on or something else caught his interest. The new moon was fast approaching, so they would have to take extra care on the next dark night.\n<\/p>\n \nWhen the night came, they prepared in the basement as always–plastic, bucket, towels. Bit by bit, their eyes, their teeth, their bones went through the changes. When it was done, Jae paused before they left the basement.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cWe should stay indoors, Con. Not enough cloud cover.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cWhat?\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cWe don\u2019t know who\u2019s out there. We should be careful tonight, and the next few dark nights, actually.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cNo one\u2019s out there, Dad. I checked.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cStill not worth the risk.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cIt is to me.\u201d Connor\u2019s beak clicked, and he turned his head. \u201cThis is the only thing I–\u201d He stopped.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cI understand,\u201d Jae said.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cNo. You don\u2019t. I won\u2019t stop just because of some creeps.\u201d Connor began to head up the basement steps.\n<\/p>\n \nJae grabbed him with a clawed hand.\n<\/p>\n \nConnor looked down at it. \u201cYou can\u2019t stop me,\u201d he said.\n<\/p>\n \nAgainst his better nature, Jae reacted emotionally. He grabbed his son by the shoulders and extended his wings, which spanned up and around the two of them. But faster than he could react, Connor pushed him.\n<\/p>\n \nJae stumbled and nearly lost his balance, his back knocking over several tools from a nearby bench.\n<\/p>\n \nHis son showed only the smallest glimmer of remorse and surprise at what he had done, but it was replaced with a hard stare. He turned and walked up the basement steps and slammed the door closed.\n<\/p>\n \n3.<\/b>\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cI\u2019m losing him,\u201d Jae said to Esther the next morning.\n<\/p>\n \nThe phone call went quiet.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cWhat is it?\u201d he asked.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cConnor\u2019s been calling me and Chris the last few weeks, talking to us about it. He says he wants to go and find others like you.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nJae breathed in sharply. \u201cAnd what did you tell him?\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cThe truth. I have no idea where to look.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cAnd you told him to stop looking, right?\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nEsther paused. \u201cNo.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cWhat?\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cWhat good would it do? He\u2019s not going to change his mind just because I say so, and practically speaking, we can\u2019t always be there to stop him. If he wants to turn, he\u2019ll find a way to turn, one way or another.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cCome on! What kind of thinking is that!\u201d Jae paced around the dining room. \u201cI thought we were united on this.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cWe are.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cWhat about studying art? Living out his twenties? Falling in love, for chrissakes! Think of everything he\u2019s giving up if he does something stupid!\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cI agree with you completely.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cIf he wants to spend the rest of his life like that, he can do that later. He\u2019s just a kid right now!\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cI wish he were,\u201d Esther said. \u201cBut he hasn\u2019t been for a while. Neither has Chris for that matter. They\u2019re not just our boys anymore, even if we think of them that way.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nJae fumed, but he did it silently.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cI don\u2019t want this for Connor,\u201d Esther went on. \u201cI mean, I don\u2019t even like the thought of Chris going to Chicago. But whether it\u2019s today or a year from now, or a decade, we\u2019re going to say goodbye to them. Whether it\u2019s college, or somewhere else, they\u2019re going to leave us, Jae. You know that, right?\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cWhat does this have to do with\u2026\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cThey\u2019re going to leave us,\u201d Esther repeated.\n<\/p>\n \nJae sat down in a chair.\n<\/p>\n \nShe spoke very softly. \u201cMaybe we\u2019ll see them once in a while. Maybe they\u2019ll keep coming home. But they will go, and it\u2019ll never be in a way that we want, because we don\u2019t want it at all. I don\u2019t, at least.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cBut it\u2019s not–I mean, he\u2019s not…\u201d Jae grasped for a response but it was pointless.\n<\/p>\n \nHe had no control over what was going to happen, and he never would.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cWe gave them a good home and a good childhood, and I know they\u2019re going to be good men whenever they go off on their own. You believe that much, don\u2019t you?\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nThis was one thing Jae could admit. \u201cI do,\u201d he said.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cThen remember that,\u201d Esther replied. \u201cWe did everything as best we could, and that\u2019s as far as we go. Just because something doesn\u2019t last forever, doesn\u2019t mean it wasn\u2019t a good thing…\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nJae pressed his hand to his forehead. \u201cAre we still talking about the boys?\u201d he asked.\n<\/p>\n \nEsther paused.\n<\/p>\n \nJae sighed. \u201cI\u2019ll talk to Con.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cOkay.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cThanks, Es.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cEverything will be okay.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cOkay.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cGoodbye.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cBye.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n \nJae stood outside of Connor\u2019s bedroom for a minute. He knocked quietly and waited before opening the door, only to find the room empty.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cCon?\u201d Jae called out, walking around the house.\n<\/p>\n \nNothing.\n<\/p>\n \nJae texted Connor: Did you go out this morning? <\/em>\n<\/p>\n \nThere was a buzz, and he saw Connor\u2019s phone on the dining table where he had left it before he changed for the dark night. Jae started looking around the house more quickly, calling out for Connor.\n<\/p>\n \nAfter several minutes, he realized that his son had not been home. Jae assumed the boy had just snuck back to his room and sulked, but there was no sign of it. His stomach dropped at the thought that Connor had finally done what he had threatened to do.\n<\/p>\n \nWhen Jae ran through every contact on his phone he could think of without results, he took the next step. The police came a few hours after Jae called to take his statement. There was not much Jae could tell them, other than the fact that his son had gone out and had not returned. The officer told Jae that it was more likely than not that Connor was going to be back in a couple of days, that he was just rebelling the way teenage boys do.\n<\/p>\n \nBut a day passed.\n<\/p>\n \nThen another.\n<\/p>\n \nJae and Esther called the hospitals nearby. They talked with Chris about whether his brother told him anything about where he was going or what he might do.\n<\/p>\n \nChris had no idea.\n<\/p>\n \nJae called the officer in charge of Connor\u2019s case first thing in the morning after two days had gone by. His son still wasn\u2019t home, and there was another possibility, a worse one that he didn\u2019t want to, but had to, consider.\n<\/p>\n \nJae told the police about the Plymouth that had come by the home, the young man in the leather jacket who said he was a realtor, and Jae offered to give the police the business card he had received, though it had no address.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cI see,\u201d the officer said. \u201cWell it\u2019s unusual for kidnappers to target someone your son\u2019s age, particularly if, and excuse me for saying so, you\u2019re not wealthy. Is there some reason this man would take your son?\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nJae could not tell him his suspicions about what the man was without revealing what he and Connor were. \u201cI\u2019m telling you, I just think this guy took an unusual interest. I didn\u2019t get his license plate, but there can\u2019t be that many \u201867 Plymouths here, right? Please, just find him.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nThe officer politely said he would, but Jae could tell by his tone that he thought this was just a desperate call from a father who had nothing else to cling to.\n<\/p>\n \nJae started driving around the surrounding neighborhoods looking for the Plymouth. A few times he came close, but the model wasn\u2019t quite right, or the color was different when he looked carefully. When he wasn\u2019t in his car he sat in the backyard scouring the clouds for any sign of Connor, any small shadow or movement.\n<\/p>\n \nNothing.\n<\/p>\n \nAs each day passed, the nauseous panic in Jae slowly hardened into an empty dread. Eventually, the following week, he got a call from the officer in charge that the investigation was not turning up anything, and at this point they were concluding that Connor had run away from home.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cWhat about the Plymouth?\u201d Jae raised his voice.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cDead end,\u201d the officer replied.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cBut did you find it? Did you find the guy?\u201d Jae yelled into his phone.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cIf we learn anything else, you\u2019ll be our first call.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cBut did you find him?\u201d Jae shouted.\n<\/p>\n \nThe officer thanked Jae for his time and said he would be in touch before hanging up.\n<\/p>\n \nJae sat on Connor\u2019s bed, staring at everything in the room before his eyes rested on the unfinished painting on an easel, the swirls of blue and grey. ?\n<\/p>\n \n4.<\/b>\n<\/p>\n \nThe most important things in Jae\u2019s life often happened by chance. The fact that he inherited his condition from his father came down to probability. The fact that Connor got it too, but that Chris didn\u2019t, could have easily gone other ways. That a young woman that he met in college would not only fall in love with him, but, when she saw his changes for the first time–everything from the bloody teeth and claws and wingbones–did not run away screaming, was, to Jae, just dumb luck.\n<\/p>\n \nSo it felt natural to him, somehow, that he had found the Plymouth by accident.\n<\/p>\n \nHe had been driving home from the store one evening, his eyes starting to close on their own because of the string of sleepless nights, and he stopped at a diner to get a cup of coffee. He pulled into the parking lot and turned off the engine when he saw it, the brown \u201867 Plymouth sitting a few spaces away.\n<\/p>\n \nJae sat for a few minutes, now wide awake.\n<\/p>\n \nHe saw the young man who had introduced himself as a realtor–long hair, moustache, leather jacket, loud Hawaiian shirt–sitting in a booth by one of the windows. Jae had made the decision countless times before in his mind, so it wasn\u2019t long before he got out of the car and entered the diner.\n<\/p>\n \nHe approached the booth where the man was.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cExcuse me?\u201d the young man said, startled. \u201cCan I help you, man?\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nJae stared, dark circles under his eyes. He saw that the young man had a large bandage over one of his cheeks.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cI know you,\u201d the young man squinted. \u201cThree-bed-two-bath and super-clean basement, right?\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nJae looked at him.\n<\/p>\n \nThe man looked around the diner. \u201cDid you rethink selling or something? What do you want?\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nJae blinked. \u201cAre you going to pretend you don\u2019t know why I\u2019m here?\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cNo idea.\u201d The man absent-mindedly grazed the bandage on his cheek.\n<\/p>\n \nJae stared at him for a time before turning away.\n<\/p>\n \nHe left the diner and got in his car. He drove it around the corner, parked, and waited.\n<\/p>\n \nThe man came out of the diner fifteen minutes later and got into the Plymouth. When he was sure the man was a safe distance away, Jae pulled out of the sidestreet and followed the two brake lights glowing red ahead of him.\n<\/p>\n \nThe Plymouth turned onto a road not far from Jae\u2019s house that went up a neighboring hill. Traffic thinned, so Jae turned off his headlights, following cautiously as their cars winded up a ways. There were no streetlights on this particular hill, and the trees began to grow thick and tall at either side of the road, closing in on the only pathway that led near the hilltop.\n<\/p>\n \nJae lost sight of the Plymouth after a curve and almost missed the turnoff.\n<\/p>\n \nHe braked suddenly, spotting a long driveway and made the turn just in time, his tires rumbling on gravel as he followed the path through the trees. He slowed as the driveway ended before a clearing and put his car in park.\n<\/p>\n \nThe Plymouth was parked in front of a small house, a single porchlight glowing. The large lot on which the house rested was surrounded by closely planted rows of trees, so there was no neighbor to see in or out.\n<\/p>\n \nJae got out of his car slowly and stepped toward the home.\n<\/p>\n \nAs he got to the first step, the front door opened. The young man in the leather jacket emerged in the door frame, expectantly.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cWould you like to come in?\u201d the man asked.\n<\/p>\n \nJae did not know what to do but nod.\n<\/p>\n \n \nThe inside of the house was uninteresting, with all the ordinary furnishings and framed art and domestic trappings someone might expect. But the overwhelming, sulfuric stench of garlic hung in the stale air and in every corner of the place. Jae\u2019s eyes watered as he stepped through the entryway and into the living room.\n<\/p>\n \nThe young man took off his leather jacket and sat in an armchair, offering Jae another that was nearby. \u201cCan I get you anything?\u201d he asked.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cNo,\u201d Jae replied, not taking his eyes off of him.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cYou want to tell me what this is about? Hardly normal to follow a man all the way to his house. I\u2019d take it as a threat if you didn\u2019t seem like such a gentle person.\u201d He smiled.\n<\/p>\n \nJae studied the young man\u2019s face. \u201cWhat happened?\u201d He pointed at the bandage.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cOh, this?\u201d The young man said. \u201cHunting accident.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cRecent?\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cWouldn\u2019t bandage it otherwise.\u201d He smiled again. \u201cDo you hunt?\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cNo,\u201d Jae said. \u201cI\u2019ve never understood it.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cSo that\u2019s it? You just wanted to ask me about my face?\u201d The young man stopped smiling. \u201cSpit it out.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nJae looked down for the first time, breaking his stare.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cI\u2019m looking for something important to me. I think you might have come across it when you were hunting,\u201d he said. \u201cOne way or another…I have to know.\u201d Jae locked eyes with the man. \u201cI won\u2019t leave until you give me an answer,\u201d he said with finality. \u201cI mean it.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nThe young man rested his hand over his mouth, thinking.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cLet me show you something.\u201d The young man got up, and he beckoned for Jae to follow him. They went down a hallway, Jae walking several feet behind him, until they stopped outside of a door. The young man opened it and turned on a light, revealing a series of steps down into a basement.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cI saw yours, after all,\u201d he said. \u201cIt\u2019s only fair.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nThe sulfuric smell grew even stronger as Jae followed down the creaking steps. This basement contained almost nothing–bare cement walls and floor that looked like they were cleaned regularly. A single light in the middle of the room hung by a cord. At the far end of the room was a simple set of shelves.\n<\/p>\n \nJae walked closer, still keeping his distance from the man, but looking at the shelves\u2019 contents. He saw a medium-sized hatchet with a wooden handle, sharpened and sitting by a whetstone. Next to that, there were a dozen or so curved, black scythe-like shapes.\n<\/p>\n \nJae recognized them as talons and claws, bits and pieces of hands and feet from people like him, that were cleaned and preserved for display.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cDo you like them?\u201d the young man asked.\n<\/p>\n \nJae felt light-headed, but breathed deeply as he looked at the talons, unable to tell which, if any, were newer than the others. He looked over at the young man but said nothing.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cThe birds I hunt are pretty damn big. I mean, look at those things,\u201d he grinned. \u201cClever too, and very rare.\u201d The young man picked up the hatchet and inspected it. \u201cSo, to get to your question. You want to know if I\u2019ve hunted lately, if I came across that important thing of yours,\u201d he said. \u201cBut there\u2019s a problem.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nJae inched away from the shelves but did not turn or look at the door, or give any sign that he even thought of trying to leave.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cWhat\u2019s that?\u201d Jae asked.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cYou see, there are only two answers I can give you, and neither are going to work,\u201d the young man said. \u201cI could tell you that I\u2019ve been hunting, and maybe I came across your important thing. Maybe I followed it a ways and waited until it was distracted and didn\u2019t know I was there. Maybe I tried to take it down, but it was too\u2026.young, too strong, and it got the best of me.\u201d He touched the bandage on his cheek again. \u201cFlew off like the devil and never looked back, and I haven\u2019t seen it since. You\u2019d like that answer. But…\u201d The young man looked Jae in the eyes. \u201cYou would never believe me. Not really.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cIs that what happened?\u201d Jae said, trying to hide any hint of hope in his voice.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cBut,\u201d the young man went on. \u201cThe other answer is that I hunted your precious thing. I followed it a ways, waited until it was distracted, and,\u201d he made a whistling noise, drawing the hatchet across his throat.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cAnd you wouldn\u2019t like that answer either, would you?\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nJae\u2019s breath was ragged, but he continued to look the young man in the eyes. \u201cWhy not say you never hunted it at all?\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nThe man laughed and shook his head. \u201cWhat the hell\u2019s fun about that?\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nJae\u2019s hand trembled, but he held it at his side and closed it.\n<\/p>\n \nThe young man grinned. \u201cThen again, birds are all the same to me after a while, so who knows if I even know for sure? At the end of the day, you don\u2019t really get a meaningful answer at all, do you?\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nJae stood still and watched the man\u2019s hatchet.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cThe better question is, if I\u2019m the kind of hunter you think I am,\u201d the hatchet dangled in the man\u2019s hand, \u201cwhy would you come down to my basement?\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nJae did not move. He believed that if he flinched even a little, that it would trigger something worse. \u201cWell, there\u2019s…nothing worth hunting now,\u201d he said. \u201cGuy like you would want to wait until the new moon when the birds come out, I would think. Otherwise, what\u2019s the point? \u201d\n<\/p>\n \nThe young man stepped closer.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cAnd,\u201d Jae knew he had to think of something quickly. \u201cIf I\u2019m wrong, I might have texted my ex-wife this address while I was in the car,\u201d he lied, \u201cand told her to contact people if we don\u2019t talk within the hour\u2026\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nIt sounded true enough in the moment.\n<\/p>\n \nThe young man watched Jae\u2019s eyes carefully, then broke into a grin.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cAnd you say you don\u2019t understand hunting,\u201d he laughed.\n<\/p>\n \nJae turned his back purposefully and without hesitation. \u201cI\u2019ll show myself out.\u201d With every step he took up the stairs, he listened with anticipation for the sound of the man following him, any shift of air or creak of steps behind him, but it didn\u2019t come.\n<\/p>\n \nJae opened the basement door, further from the worst of the sulfuric smell.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cSorry I couldn\u2019t help you!\u201d the young man called up from the bottom of the stairs. \u201cYou drive safe now!\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nThe door creaked closed behind Jae.\n<\/p>\n \n5.<\/b>\n<\/p>\n \nJae went to the kitchen sink, turned on the faucet, and watched the water run into the basin. He washed the vegetables under the rushing water, then chopped up salad and boiled pasta, a pot of meat sauce already simmering beside it. Eventually he set one plate of spaghetti on the dining table, opposite an open laptop.\n<\/p>\n \nHe leaned over the laptop and opened up his video chat.\n<\/p>\n \nEsther appeared on the computer. \u201cHey,\u201d she said. \u201cChris is coming down.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cOkay.\u201d Jae could see that Esther hadn\u2019t slept. Her hair was always in disarray when she didn\u2019t get enough sleep. \u201cWhat are you having?\u201d Jae asked.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cTakeout. You? Spaghetti?\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cYeah.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nChris appeared next to his mother and sat at the table. \u201cHey, Dad.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cHey, buster. How are you?\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cI dunno, same as you guys.\u201d The boy looked down at his plate, pushing his food to the side with his fork. \u201cI\u2019ve been doing some research online. Looking at some of the mountains near you and the national parks.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cOh?\u201d Jae said, not touching his food.\n<\/p>\n \nEsther ate quietly.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cYeah. Sometimes people on forums talk about sightings, weird things they see. I was thinking if I could check those against nearby places, I might be able to figure out where he might have gone. Maybe, you know, he found others too, like he said.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nJae nodded. \u201cMaybe.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cAnd I was thinking,\u201d Chris continued. \u201cYou know, I could stick around here with mom for a while, maybe stay out there with you too, just for a few months. Help look for him.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cThat\u2019s a nice thought,\u201d Jae said, looking at Esther, who seemed surprised. \u201cBut you don\u2019t need to do that. Besides, there\u2019s Chicago, right?\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nChris shrugged. \u201cPeople defer all the time. Chicago can wait, or it doesn\u2019t even have to be Chicago. There are other schools. The point is, I want to help.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cI know,\u201d Jae nodded. He looked at Chris and imagined him with longer hair for a moment. \u201cI know. That\u2019s really good of you. But…for what it\u2019s worth, I know you had your heart set on Chicago. So, it\u2019s okay to go too, if that\u2019s really what you want,\u201d Jae said quietly. \u201cYour mom and I will be okay. Really.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nEsther touched her son\u2019s hand. \u201cWe appreciate it, Chris, and we can keep talking about it. Okay?\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cOkay.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nAfter dinner, Jae and Esther sat on video for a while. They cleaned up their respective tables and waited until Chris left.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cIt\u2019s a dark night, right?\u201d Esther asked.\n<\/p>\n \nJae nodded. It was the first since Connor had left.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cI checked the forecasts,\u201d Esther said. \u201cNot a lot of cloud cover, but maybe some. If he\u2019s stuck somewhere, he might be waiting until he can safely come back.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cHe might be,\u201d Jae said tiredly.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cIf you go out there, maybe leave the patio door unlocked for him? Just in case?\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nJae looked at Esther. \u201cDo you remember when the boys were young, how I used to make up games for them?\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nShe sipped her glass of wine. \u201cYeah.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cThere was one game where I\u2019d pick them up and spin them around really fast until they were dizzy, then I\u2019d fling them onto our bed.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201c\u2018Hold on tight,<\/em>\u2019\u201d she said.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cThat was it,\u201d Jae said softly. \u201cI\u2019d say, \u2018Hold on tight!\u2019 And they\u2019d giggle and yell, \u2018Hold on tight!<\/em>\u2019 Their voices were so little back then.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cJae. Why are you talking about this?\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nJae stared with unfocused eyes. \u201cFor them, the fun part was always the end, when I\u2019d drop them on the bed. But sometimes, I\u2019d keep spinning, just to mess with them. Just never let go and held onto them.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cStop it, Jae.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cConnor hated it. He\u2019d always get mad when I did that. \u2018Daddy, let go! Let go! <\/em>\u2019\u201d\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cJae!\u201d Esther snapped. \u201cPlease don\u2019t do this to me right now. Don\u2019t talk like that.\u201d She covered her face with her hand and started to sob.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cSorry,\u201d Jae said. He wanted to comfort her, but he didn\u2019t know how.\n<\/p>\n \nIn her heart, she still believed Connor was coming home, and he didn\u2019t. That was always the difference between them.\n<\/p>\n \nHe waited quietly with her at the table.\n<\/p>\n \n \nThe sun was still setting when Jae walked into Connor\u2019s room.\n<\/p>\n \nHe went to the bookshelf and bent down to retrieve the envelope that was stuffed behind the lowest of the shelves. He sat down on Connor\u2019s bed and opened the letter inside, reading it for the first time since he had found it.\n<\/p>\n \nThank you for your application to The Haller Institute of Visual Arts. We regret to inform you that we are unable to offer you admission this coming fall. Haller has seen thousands of talented applicants compete for a limited number of available spots this year, many of whom are extraordinary candidates for the institute. Thus, Haller is forced to choose among many more highly qualified students than it has room to admit.\n<\/p>\n \nWe wish we could admit more of our applicants, and understand how difficult this process is for our candidates. We are sorry to share this news with you, and we wish you nothing but the best of luck on all of your future endeavors. <\/em>\n<\/p>\n \nJae folded the letter, put it back in the envelope, and placed the envelope back behind the lowest shelf before walking out.\n<\/p>\n \nThe basement that night felt quieter. He could hear the sound of every shift in the plastic sheeting as he pulled out a roll from next to the boys\u2019 old bed frames and laid it out across the basement floor. The bucket made a hollow sound as he dropped it in the middle of the room. Jae got out of his clothes and wrapped a towel around himself.\n<\/p>\n \nThe blood trickled from his eyes as they turned black. His teeth dropped one by one into the bucket. His fingernails and toenails were pushed away by the curve of his talons, and the skin on his hands and feet hardened. The bones in his face cracked and flattened. His wings broke through the skin on his shoulders and stretched as the feathers worked their way out of his pores.\n<\/p>\n \nWhen it was done, Jae looked up at the basement door.\n<\/p>\n \n \nThe Hatchetman opened the trunk of his Plymouth.\n<\/p>\n \nHe loaded pieces of his equipment, one by one. There was a catchpole with a thin wire looped at its head, and a weighted net that he folded and placed beside that. A rifle with a long barrel and a portable strobe light he checked before putting it down. He inspected his hatchet, tucked its handle in the back of his jeans, and pulled his shirt over it before closing the trunk.\n<\/p>\n \nJae watched from the trees as the young man lit a cigarette and took a long drag.\n<\/p>\n \nIt happened quickly after that.\n<\/p>\n \nJae\u2019s feathers were so soft that they never made a sound when he glided down.\n<\/p>\n \nThe Hatchetman only saw the smallest flicker of a shadow before the claws of Jae\u2019s feet wrapped around his shoulders and Jae\u2019s talons sliced through his jacket and into his skin, securing him.\n<\/p>\n \nThe Hatchetman\u2019s cigarette fell to the grass as he was jerked straight upward.\n<\/p>\n \nJae beat his wings ferociously, ascending as the man flailed and reached into his waistband for the hatchet. There was a dull and distant pain from the hacking of the metal blade into Jae\u2019s legs. It was possible Jae was losing a lot of blood, but he ignored it as the young man desperately tried to cut himself free.\n<\/p>\n \nThey flew further up and burst through the blanket of grey clouds.\n<\/p>\n \nJae hovered there for a moment in the blackness, looking out at the sky and the solitary mountain near their hill.\n<\/p>\n \nThe thudding noise of the hatchet hacking wildly at his legs was drowned out.\n<\/p>\n \nInstead, Jae heard a little boy laughing.\n<\/p>\n \nHold on tight! <\/em>\n<\/p>\n \nJae let go of the Hatchetman, who dropped like a stone through the clouds, his unfeeling, unreadable face disappearing from view.\n<\/p>\n \nJae listened for the final sound of the body obliterated.\n<\/p>\n \nHe stayed there, above the clouds, for a long time that night, eventually gliding below toward his hill and his house.\n<\/p>\n \nWhen he touched down in the yard, the sounds and smell of the air were shifting with daylight coming.\n<\/p>\n \nHe was about to go in, but stopped himself.\n<\/p>\n \nThe dark purple of the sky was starting to change, and he looked up at it, wondering what would happen if he waited for the sun. He looked down at his claws and his bloodied feet, and then at his wings, folded in at his shoulders.\n<\/p>\n \nHe waited until it was beyond prudent, and then decided he would go back inside. Leaving the patio door unlocked, he made his way through the halls of the empty house to the basement door.\n<\/p>\n \nJae walked down the steps and back onto the plastic.\n<\/p>\n \nToo tired to clean or wait for the change, he lay down on the crinkling sheets on his side and brought his knees to his chest.\n<\/p>\n \n \nAs he drifted away, he dreamed of when he was a young man, and he was thinner and his hair was black. He remembered sitting in a chair in a dark bedroom where there were two small beds on either side, covered in big, puffy blankets that were decorated with stars and planets.\n<\/p>\n \nTwo little boys\u2019 faces looked at him as he talked, though he didn\u2019t know what he was saying.\n<\/p>\n \nEventually, he got up to leave the bedroom, as he always did, but one of the boys called out to him.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cDaddy, please stay. Please, Daddy?\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nIf this were a real memory he would have wished them a good night, turned off the light in the hall, and left the room. But instead he went back to the chair and slowly sat down again and looked at his sons.\n<\/p>\n \nHe did not understand why, in that moment, but he realized that he was crying.\n<\/p>\n \n\u201cOkay,\u201d he said to them softly. \u201cGo to sleep, boys. I\u2019ll be right here.\u201d\n<\/p>\n \nHe would try to stay with them for as long as he could.\n<\/p>\n Thomas lives in Los Angeles with his wife and two young children and, when not chasing after his kids, enjoys writing speculative fiction.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" 1. Jae didn\u2019t mean to find the letter. He had been putting away clothes in his son\u2019s room when a pair of socks rolled by the bookshelf. As he bent down, he saw an envelope tucked behind a few paperbacks. Jae picked it up, pushed open the torn top of the envelope just enough to …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":107135,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,20076],"tags":[20077],"class_list":["post-137914","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fiction","category-tcl-36-summer-2020","tag-the-colored-lens-36-summer-2020","entry entry-center"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/thecoloredlens.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/137914","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/thecoloredlens.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/thecoloredlens.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/thecoloredlens.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/107135"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/thecoloredlens.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=137914"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/thecoloredlens.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/137914\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":137915,"href":"http:\/\/thecoloredlens.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/137914\/revisions\/137915"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/thecoloredlens.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=137914"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/thecoloredlens.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=137914"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/thecoloredlens.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=137914"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
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